When you know better, you do better.

“Doing better” started  a couple of years ago for me, but catapulted this year in January when my brother went to be with the Lord.  Everything that I have done or will continue to do in my life as of Jan 17, is because of him and for him in so many ways. During that time, I had this peace and this resilient strength to persevere.  I was able to come back to work and focus, I was able to continue living without becoming depressed and I was able to think of him and not go hysterical at the thought of the reality that he was no longer living on Earth.   The events leading up to my brother’s death weren't always easy and to be completely frank there were several nights I didn't sleep, there were times I was at work and I couldn't focus.  I would be listening to a song and just think of him and immediately fill up with tears.  As a family we were there for each other and at the time, I didn't feel like I “needed” anyone else.  One thing I learned, which I think is going to be a lifelong lesson for me was that not everyone that you think is your friend will be there for you when things like this happen.  After the dust had settled, I looked back and I got to examine the events and see who contacted me, who prayed for me, who called, who showed up……..sadly, it wasn’t very many.  Nowadays, we have Facebook and while a comment here and there is appreciated, a direct call or even text message for that matter is better.  A hug beats that and physically showing up is the best thing a person can get.  Several people showed up to my brother’s viewing and funeral – people for the most part that I honestly didn’t expect to show up.  The support my mom received from family, distant family, old bosses, old friends was simply magical.  I was able to see the importance of being a friend and the effect it had on my mother and her journey to healing. And while I got to see the importance -  I, on the other hand, was able to witness the emptiness of the opposite.

I had one friend attend my brother’s viewing and I had one friend send a card.  I had a coworker and my boss show up – they drove over 45 minutes out of their way just to personally give me a hug and pay their respects.  Sometimes it upsets me when I think about  that– even now, but the truth is, this helped me realize a lot.  I was upset for a while.  I was hurt mostly, but now, I’m thankful.  This feeling I had made me look at myself and ask myself “What kind of friend am I?”  Did I show up at events like this?  Did I go out of my way to send a card?  Did I bother calling?  Was I genuinely a good friend and person?  Some of the questions I asked myself resulted in a No, while others resulted in a Yes, but what I realized was that now I knew better.  In the following months, I had a close friend lose someone very close.  Before Jan 17, I did not know what it was like to lose someone, but now I did.  I knew the pain and I knew the importance of reaching out, sending flowers and contacting that person personally.  I think to myself, would I have done that if my brother hadn't passed?  I don’t know.  I really hope I would have.  And so I learned,  when you know better, you do better.  Simple as that.  I have friends that never called me, or even said anything to me to this day, but I try and put myself in their shoes.  That was me before Jan 17. I would send a comment of condolence, but never make the extra step to do something to truly show my support.  I try not to let it upset me or make me think that they don’t care.  They don’t know better and I can’t be mad at them for that. 

And so things happen every day where we get upset because someone doesn’t celebrate us.  They don’t understand, or whatever it is that we tell ourselves.  For anyone that reads this that thinks at one point I didn’t care or I wasn’t there, I’m sorry.  I didn’t know better.  Now, I do.  I’m a different person now.  I try to live my life the best I can and honestly I try to be a good person every day.

You Are Beautiful

A couple months ago, on Mother's Day to be exact, my family and I went to celebrate the day at Meso Maya, a Latin restaurant, located near downtown Dallas.  As we concluded our festive lunch, I got a nudge from my daughter, "Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom."  So there we went, off to the bathroom.  I have this habit that whenever Mia uses the bathroom, it immediately makes me want to go. While reaching over to grab some toilet paper, there was this silver sticker with the words, "You are Beautiful" written on it.  I froze for a moment, read the sticker and I have to admit, the words were perfect and it actually made me feel good inside.

Fast forward - Earlier this month I was on the Oprah website and there was a link to an article called "The sticker that started a world phenomenon."  Wow!  I had to read this.  Once I clicked on the link, it brought up a picture of the silver sticker I had seen once before in a bathroom on Mother's Day.  It turns out this sticker was created in part of a movement to share positivity, strength and confidence.  This movement was created by a man named Matthew Hoffman about ten years ago, initially with only 100 stickers.  Since then over half a million stickers have been printed and have made their way all over the world spreading his vision.  Amazing.

Matthew wants us all to share in his vision by getting some of his stickers and spreading them around everywhere we go.  If you are interested, click on the link below and it will take you to the You are Beautiful site. 

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

Watch this inspiring video of how Michael got started, how he created this project and how it has taken off like a rocket!  I'm ordering my stickers soon.  So if you see them around Dallas, you may just know that I left my mark.

In continuing with this message, I must say we have all held insecurities about ourselves whether they were physical, about our upbringing or how intelligent we are or are not.  When I was younger I was always teased about how skinny I was.  I never focused on my weight until people, including family, would point out my flaws.  I was called toothpick legs, skin and bones,  a giraffe because I was tall and slim and I was called a four eyed freak because I wore glasses.  I use to think so badly about myself at times and stare at myself in the mirror hating what I saw.  I never wore shorts, skirts or dresses.  I never wore heels because they would only make me look taller. I begged my parents to buy me contacts, which I finally managed to score at the age of 13.  Somehow along the way, I slowly started getting rid of these insecurities, but when I did, it was almost an immediate 180 reaction from everyone else.  You're conceited, you think you are all that.  Who does she think she is?

Well I was a very insecure girl, who had broken down a wall and finally felt pretty and now I was being hated for that. I didn't understand.  When your ugly, you get made fun of, but when you're "pretty", you are disliked.  I experienced both sides and both were equally exhausting and draining. 

Even with gaining confidence, it took me a while to wear anything that revealed my legs.  There was a point where I completely hated my legs.  The funny thing, is now they are one of my favorite features. I will have to say the turning point of wearing skirts and shorts happened after I watched a movie called, "Shallow Hal".  Gwyneth Paltrow was thin with slim legs and wore a skirt in several scenes.  I looked at her and thought wow, she's slim, tall and she looks great.  Soon after guess who was showing off her legs?  You guessed it.  I haven't stopped since.  And while I may not have the best legs in the world, they are mine and I love them.

 

 Some people don’t realize when you make fun of a person for being skinny, it’s equally as offensive and hurtful as calling a person fat.  I still get comments to this day about my weight and I think it’s so stupid.  Sometimes I wish I did have a curvaceous body, but that’s not what I was given.  I’m actually pretty happy now.  It’s quite funny though, to think of the very things I was made fun of are the things that people actually wish they had – a slimmer body, darker skin tone and height.

At 29 years old, I still deal with insecurities, as we all do.  There’s no denying we all dislike certain things about ourselves.  But in the end, we are all God’s creation, we are his masterpiece and we need to be thankful for the things we love about ourselves rather than focusing on the negative.  There are always people out there who have it worse than us. Besides physical attributes fade – boobs sag, stomachs get squishy, hair falls out and wrinkles start to appear.  What matters is what’s in our hearts, our personality and our ability to be outstanding people. So the next time someone makes fun of you or if you find yourself standing in front of a mirror picking every flaw, remember that we are all dealing with similar situations, but we must remember that we ARE all beautiful.  

You are God’s most prized possession; God made you who you are on purpose; Be content in who God made you to be; We have to accept who God made us to be; Be at peace on the inside in who God made you to be; It’s not what the painting looks like, it’s about Who painted it (God); We have been painted by the greatest Painter there is (God)! - Joel Osteen

Sybrina Fulton

Sybrina Fulton is a mother who lost her son on February 26, 2012.  Her son, Trayvon Martin was a 17 year old boy who was killed by George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watchman.  Regardless of your view of this case, that is a fact.

Most of America has kept up to date with the Zimmerman case -  myself included.  The verdict came in Saturday of "Not Guilty".  Some of us were disappointed and some of us were content. There is no question that this case has opened doors to conversations, awareness,questions and anger.

My biggest inspiration in this whole tragedy was the composure and strength that Sybrina Fulton held throughout this past year and a half. I put myself in her shoes as a mother and I can't even imagine the pain of losing a child, much less the anger she must have had for losing a child the way that she did.  I can't imagine keeping my mouth shut while people defamed my child in a courtroom and in the media.  I can't imagine not having justice served for the man who killed my child.  It is unimaginable.

You have to admit, most mothers would have not responded to the pressure of the pain or anger in such an elegant and potent way.  I really don't know if I could.  Could you?

What ever we go through in life, God always has the last word. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."

Thank you for all you do

About six months or so, I went to one of those CVS minute clinics because I had a cold.  I was waiting for my name to be called when a police officer showed up.  He signed in after me and when he was done, I said Hello.  He replied back and we started a small conversation.  Mia, my daughter, was with me and he asked her if she wanted a sticker.  She said yes and he gave her a police sticker.  While waiting, we kept talking and he told me that he disliked when children were afraid of him or other police.  He said some parents, when they see him, will tell their kids, "Behave or I'll tell that policeman to take you to jail," or some other obnoxious comment like that which in turn will make the child afraid of police.  He voiced his frustration on the topic and I must agree, I have heard people make those comments or seen how some kids are afraid of policemen.

I have so much gratitude for people who risk their lives for strangers.  Policemen, Firemen, people in the armed forces, nurses, doctors, teachers - these people go above and beyond the call of duty to help people and I hate that most time their work goes unnoticed or taken for granted.

Since that day, I have shown my children to always acknowledge a police officer with a simple, "Thank you for all you do."  I have told them over and over, that now it is just habit for them and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.  It is remarkable to see how a simple Thank You lights up a persons face.

Try it one day - if you never have.  The reaction is always priceless.  You feel good and you make the other person feel good.  I think it's important we teach our kids to be thankful and this is such a small way to make a BIG difference.

Sunday Funday

Sunday has officially become my FAVORITE day of the week!  My Sundays consist of waking up early attending church, going out to eat after church and getting ready for the week. One of my favorite shows on the OWN network, Super Soul Sunday, comes on every Sunday.  

The purpose to this show is to "nourish your mind, body and spirit every Sunday. Super Soul Sunday features
interviews with the top spiritual leaders of the world. It is inspiring in many levels and definitely a show like no other on TV. 

As you know I love Oprah and I love that she has has used her platform to help others.  I have included some clips of my favorite episodes of Super Soul Sunday.  If you haven't caught this show on TV, I highly recommend.  

It is truly food for the soul. 

On another note, I just wanted to brag on my daughter's awesomeness.  She placed 2nd place in her first ever 1K.  She competed with children in ages 2-7 and came in 2nd Place in the Female category.  

From My Heart

As most of you know, my brother Gilbert, went to be with the Lord in January of this year due to heart issues.  My brother was in and out of the hospital last year and during that time, I realized the great importance of health and how essential and valuable this gift is.  I saw my brother get to the point where he couldn’t walk, talk or breathe on his own.  His health deteriorated vastly in the matter of one year.  While my brother was born with health issues, several of us are not, but we don’t take the time or gain the knowledge to know the importance of taking care of ourselves, until it’s too late.   After my brother passed,  I researched rather quickly if there were any walks or runs benefiting The Heart Association.  Luckily, there is a 3 mile walk that will take place September 7, 2013 in Victory Plaza here in Dallas, TX .  I have created a team called, “Brick House” after my brother’s favorite song.  I am reaching out to everyone that is reading this to take a stand and sign up to be a part of my team and/or contribute as much or as little as you can to this cause.  I truly believe when we work together and put our time, love, work and money towards these great causes, we can truly make a difference.  I have listed the information below. 

My Personal Page link:
http://heartwalk.kintera.org/dallastx/mireles

Brick House Team Page link:
http://heartwalk.kintera.org/dallastx/20130620114435304

In addition to creating a team, I have also joined the Go Red Por Tu Corazon movement, where as a participant, I will become part of the fight against heart disease which is the No. 1 killer of women in America. Not only is this the biggest killer of women in America, but it is the No. 1 cause of death for Latinas!  It is even more deadly than ALL forms of cancer with 1 in 3 deaths each year, which is one woman every minute.  As an activist of women, health and self improvement, I felt my involvement for this movement and my sharing of information could help save lives of women. I have listed the link to the Go Red Por Tu Corazon movement down below.  Once you register you get a red dress pin, a monthly e-newsletter and access to exclusive merchandise on Shop Go Red with proceeds benefiting Go Red Por Tu Corazon.

http://myportal.americanheart.org/sorp/registration/registration/goRed/registration_1.jsp?campaignId=3

To prevent heart disease, there are many things you can do:

-          Don’t smoke

-          Manage your blood sugar

-          Get your blood pressure under control

-          Lower your cholesterol

-          Know your family history

-          Stay active

-          Lose weight

-          Eat healthy

Run

In celebration of National Running Day, I've devoted today’s blog in explaining my running journey and why I run.

I run because it is so symbolic of life.  I run because I love seeing a group of people come together to share one love.  I run because it doesn't just benefit me, it helps bring donations and awareness to several causes and charities. 

I was never much of a runner until I accidentally fell in love with it.  I will have to say my journey started the year I became a mother.  It was 2008 and honestly,  I can’t even tell you how I became intrigued by the Susan G. Komen race for the Cure – but I remember falling upon this great cause and knowing I wanted to be a part of it.  My daughter was 10 months old at the time and I felt I owed it to her to sign up for this event as my way of contributing to finding a cure.  As a mother, I felt a sense of responsibility.  I signed up that year for the Susan G. Komen 1K.  I look back now analyzing my life and I see how all the dots are connecting. This first step is what has lead me to two of my passions, helping others and running.

I have signed up every year since then for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I actually ran the 5k for the first time last October with my husband and stepson.  At the time I wasn’t running very often, but I worked out and exercised frequently so I was in much better shape than my first year.  I can honestly tell you the only reason I got through that 5k was because of Alec, my stepson.  Alec is very athletic and runs frequently at school.  He kept motivating me each time I felt I had to rest.  “Come on Vickie!  You can do it!  Don’t give up!”  He was my cheerleader that day and got me through that run when I felt I couldn’t any longer. 

If I can actually rewind a bit to 2011/2012 one of my best friends had actually tried to convince me to join DRC (Dallas Running Club) and start running with her.  I was intimidated. I wasn’t a runner and I really couldn’t run long distance without losing my breath and getting those painful and annoying cramps on my side.  In 2012 I decided to complete the Big D Climb, which is racing up 52 flights of stairs to benefit Leukemia & Lymphoma.  When I went into training mode with my friend who was participating with me, we ran up and down the stairs at the Katy Trail as a good warm-up.  After that, she decided to take me running for one mile.  I couldn't even finish a mile!  I was so out of breath and I just couldn’t run longer than 5 minutes. 

Since October 2012, I have became more and more passionate about running.  I’m not the best runner, but I have improved.  Doing all these races has really opened up my eyes to see how beautiful it is when people come together to do good.  It has inspired me on many levels, in more ways than I could imagine.  I’ve seen disabled people running, I've seen old people running, I’ve seen children running, I’ve seen skinny and overweight people running.  I've seen all colors, shapes and sizes, and I can tell you this: You cannot judge a person for how they look in determining how well they run.  I have had so many people pass me – people that I would never imagine being able to outrun me. It was hard to swallow at first, but I've learned, you can't compare yourself to other people when running.  You don't know their story. And while they make look inferior, they may have more training than you.  Just ask the 85 year old man that passed me last week.  Determination and passion comes in all shapes and sizes.  You have to run your own race and compete with yourself, if not, you'll get lost in all the competition. 

My journey started 5 years ago, but the peak of my journey has been this year.  I have set the bar for myself by committing to run my first half marathon in November. To prepare myself for this endeavor, I joined the Dallas Running Club in February.  DRC (Dallas Running Club) is a running and walking group affiliated with the Road Runners Club of America offering training programs, promoting good health, friendship and camaraderie.  This club has offered discounts, free runs and has kept me on track in training for my half marathon.  Running for charitable causes can get expensive, so being a part of this running club helps me to continue running and competing with others at a much more reasonable price.  

Running is positive.  It makes you feel good and it makes you look good.  When you choose to be a part of something that influences others and at the same time you can benefit from, well I think why the hell not?  Get involved.  Help a charity.  Run for your life.  Run because you can.  The interaction with your thoughts, with nature, comes intact when you are running. At the end of the day, your legs, your body can take you from point A to point B, and through the pain and difficulty  you can look back and say, "I did it.  I did it."  I have to say, it feels pretty darn good!