Live like no one else, so you can live like no one else.

I had to read Dave Ramsey’s book, “Total Money Makeover” to actually grasp the concept of that quote.  This book that had been sitting on a shelf for two plus years was collecting dust.  Surprisingly, I had not gotten rid of it.  My parents had purchased it for me a few years ago and my dad pretty much begged me to read it, but I was so uninterested.  My dad looked up to Dave Ramsey, after all, he was the genius behind the story of my parents money makeover. I knew my dad had paid his house off early, paid off over $50 grand in debt, paid off his cars and saved money like crazy, but I never really realized how much work that meant and how accomplished he was for doing that in a span of 5 years.  My dad always emphasized the importance of saving, not living over your means and not living to “Keep up with the Jones”.  I didn’t always listen and so I didn’t always have the money saved when emergencies emerged.  Slowly as I got older and obtained a family of my own, I was finally able to see the true importance of my dad’s words.  Not too recently, my dad’s actions hit me like a ton of bricks.  My dad always got stuck with the older car and my mom always got the new car.  It was nothing he ever complained about.  He had wanted a new truck for the longest.  I always knew he could afford it, but he said no, I’m going  keep looking.  And so, recently, my dad purchased a new Toyota Tunda – CASH!  Who does that?  Seriously – I was so impressed that I had to ask my mom are you sure Dad paid it in cash?  So there I was left with my mouth wide open, flabbergasted.  My dad’s only secret to this accomplishment was what he heard on the radio years ago.  He told me Dave Ramsey gave him the knowledge to complete the tasks. One of the things I’ll never forget my dad saying was that Dave Ramsey said, “If you have to mow lawns to get out of debt, then mow lawns.” The funny thing is my dad did just that.  He started mowing lawns on the weekend for more money.  Out of that he eventually started his own business.  Several clients later, he is not only working two jobs, but he loves it.  The man is literally a workaholic, but his motto is work now, so he doesn’t have to worry about working later. 

My dad was born October 21, 1956 in San Luis Potosi Mexico.  His parents had separated, all the kids had to work at a young age and his mother was very poor.  My dad said they couldn’t’ even afford clothing so all he wore was like a  cloth around their waist that looked like a skirt.  I believe my dad was 16 when he first came to the United States.  He was deported back and came to Texas when he was 20 and then met my mother who helped him learn English.  My dad told me a funny story about the first time he went to buy clothes.  He said he went and bought a shirt and pants and didn’t even look at the size because he didn’t even know about sizes, so when he got home the clothes fit him big.  He started working at a restaurant washing dishes, later became a cook for T.G.I. Fridays, then worked cleaning apartments and was promoted to a Maintenance Supervisor.  My dad wasn’t able to finish very much schooling, didn’t graduate, but the man is a genius.  He has a strong work ethic and the commitment to get ahead.  What he provided for me and my sister is beyond what I can imagine and I wish I would have recognized it at a younger age. 

My gift to my dad was FINALLY reading the book he gave me and beginning my Total Money Makeover. In just a few months, my husband and I have paid off about $3,000 in debt – a total of four accounts.  Home Depot, School Loans, Furniture Account, Best Buy, Lawyer and all you other little annoying bills, you will all soon be GONE!  It’s a ripple effect.  You pay off your smallest bill and work yourself up to the biggest one.  By our calculations, if we pay off all debt we will have an extra $600 month.  And in reality, we don’t have too much debt, in fact we have “baby” debt compared to some of the testimonies in the Total Money Makeover.  Most people had 50, 75, 100 or more in debt.  It hasn’t been totally easy, but seeing the result of paying off accounts is addicting.  It is so encouraging to knock out the next one. Our goal is to pay off our cars, never buy brand new again – you’ll see why when you read the book, pay off our house, pay off all debt and always pay in cash.  I’m looking at money differently and realizing that some of the things I use to purchase were just a waste of my hard worked money.  So my family and I may not take lavish vacations, or purchase luxury cars, or live in the most posh neighborhood, but we will one day.  We are living like no one else, so we can eventually live like no one else. And it hasn’t been easy saying no to trips or saying no to a brand new Tory Burch purse, but when you work hard, eventually you’ll get to play hard.  Make money, don’t let the money make you.  And to finish off, I must repeat my dad’s words: If you can’t pay for it in cash, then you can't afford it. 

Dave Ramsey Website 

Dave Ramsey

The Visual Board

I’ve read several books over the course of the last two years.  I’ve been so gun ho about searching ways to keep positivity in my life and striving to do bigger and better things.  The Magic was probably one of the best books that I read, aiming my world at being grateful.  The Secret states that whatever we put out into the world we get back.  Think positive = positive results.  Do positive things = receiving positive things.  These tools I learned literally changed my life.  Another book I hold dear is “Everyday A Friday”, which literally changed my perspective on life. Most of the books I’ve read have had one common similarity: they all condemn negativity. And so I found myself writing checks to myself, being thankful for every moment – even if I didn’t feel like it, repeating positive words in my head and visualizing my dreams and goals and placing myself and being thankful for reaching those goals even if I had not received them yet.

Here is just a taste of how freakishly real these goals became. I wrote this blog on April 30, 2012. (See below) At the time, I had not received any of the things listed below.  We ended up getting our house in May, which resulted in a direct location to a nearby Christian private school for Mia that she attended this past school year.  My brother was eventually released from the hospital.  At the time, my niece had not been born, in fact, I don’t think we even knew that she was a girl, and while there were difficulties, she is now healthy.  My husband and our family dealt with a very ugly and unnecessary legal dispute that finally ended this past January.  Being grateful for these things before they happened, truly, in my eyes, made them become reality.  Some of these things came super fast, some dragged out, but ultimately, they became reality. 

Be grateful for what you want - before you receive it.

What do you Most Want Right Now?

Imagine you are putting in a magic order with the Universe for your top ten desires, because in truth, by using the law of attraction, that’s exactly what you are doing.

Sit down and create a list of your top ten desires in the following way, as though you’ve received them:

Thank you for ___________ and fill in the blank with your desire as though you have already received.

1. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for my house.  It is the most beautiful house and has made my family so happy.

2. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you that Mia is attending Christian private school.  This was my dream for the longest time.

3. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for allowing my brother to have perfect health.  This has taken a big relief off of my mother.

4. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for our win in the CS hearing.  We no longer have endure the negativity or the lack of help.

5. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for my success in life.  I have reached higher goals than I could ever imagine.

6. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the relief and stress of money in our household.  Everything is taken care of and there is more than enough for bills and pleasure.

7. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the arrival of baby Aliana.  Our family needed another baby girl and we are happy that she came out happy and healthy.

8. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the health and happiness of my family.  We are never without and never in pain.

9. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for the success of my husband.  He has truly deserved all the blessings that have gone his way.

10. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for blessing my entire family for blessing them and making all their dreams come true.

My goals and dreams, my wants, my needs are all now visualized in my mind and my heart.  I’m thankful before they happen.  I’m spreading my positivity into this world, so I can receive back what I put out.  My goals have now been listed on a visual board:

You can make your own with a cork board and some magazine clippings or you can create a free Dream Visualization Board on the Oprah website here. I have made this my desktop picture so I can look at it everyday and not forget what I have envisioned for myself. Although corny, these things really work.  Let me know if you make one.  I'd love to see it. 

When you know better, you do better.

“Doing better” started  a couple of years ago for me, but catapulted this year in January when my brother went to be with the Lord.  Everything that I have done or will continue to do in my life as of Jan 17, is because of him and for him in so many ways. During that time, I had this peace and this resilient strength to persevere.  I was able to come back to work and focus, I was able to continue living without becoming depressed and I was able to think of him and not go hysterical at the thought of the reality that he was no longer living on Earth.   The events leading up to my brother’s death weren't always easy and to be completely frank there were several nights I didn't sleep, there were times I was at work and I couldn't focus.  I would be listening to a song and just think of him and immediately fill up with tears.  As a family we were there for each other and at the time, I didn't feel like I “needed” anyone else.  One thing I learned, which I think is going to be a lifelong lesson for me was that not everyone that you think is your friend will be there for you when things like this happen.  After the dust had settled, I looked back and I got to examine the events and see who contacted me, who prayed for me, who called, who showed up……..sadly, it wasn’t very many.  Nowadays, we have Facebook and while a comment here and there is appreciated, a direct call or even text message for that matter is better.  A hug beats that and physically showing up is the best thing a person can get.  Several people showed up to my brother’s viewing and funeral – people for the most part that I honestly didn’t expect to show up.  The support my mom received from family, distant family, old bosses, old friends was simply magical.  I was able to see the importance of being a friend and the effect it had on my mother and her journey to healing. And while I got to see the importance -  I, on the other hand, was able to witness the emptiness of the opposite.

I had one friend attend my brother’s viewing and I had one friend send a card.  I had a coworker and my boss show up – they drove over 45 minutes out of their way just to personally give me a hug and pay their respects.  Sometimes it upsets me when I think about  that– even now, but the truth is, this helped me realize a lot.  I was upset for a while.  I was hurt mostly, but now, I’m thankful.  This feeling I had made me look at myself and ask myself “What kind of friend am I?”  Did I show up at events like this?  Did I go out of my way to send a card?  Did I bother calling?  Was I genuinely a good friend and person?  Some of the questions I asked myself resulted in a No, while others resulted in a Yes, but what I realized was that now I knew better.  In the following months, I had a close friend lose someone very close.  Before Jan 17, I did not know what it was like to lose someone, but now I did.  I knew the pain and I knew the importance of reaching out, sending flowers and contacting that person personally.  I think to myself, would I have done that if my brother hadn't passed?  I don’t know.  I really hope I would have.  And so I learned,  when you know better, you do better.  Simple as that.  I have friends that never called me, or even said anything to me to this day, but I try and put myself in their shoes.  That was me before Jan 17. I would send a comment of condolence, but never make the extra step to do something to truly show my support.  I try not to let it upset me or make me think that they don’t care.  They don’t know better and I can’t be mad at them for that. 

And so things happen every day where we get upset because someone doesn’t celebrate us.  They don’t understand, or whatever it is that we tell ourselves.  For anyone that reads this that thinks at one point I didn’t care or I wasn’t there, I’m sorry.  I didn’t know better.  Now, I do.  I’m a different person now.  I try to live my life the best I can and honestly I try to be a good person every day.

You Are Beautiful

A couple months ago, on Mother's Day to be exact, my family and I went to celebrate the day at Meso Maya, a Latin restaurant, located near downtown Dallas.  As we concluded our festive lunch, I got a nudge from my daughter, "Mommy, I need to go to the bathroom."  So there we went, off to the bathroom.  I have this habit that whenever Mia uses the bathroom, it immediately makes me want to go. While reaching over to grab some toilet paper, there was this silver sticker with the words, "You are Beautiful" written on it.  I froze for a moment, read the sticker and I have to admit, the words were perfect and it actually made me feel good inside.

Fast forward - Earlier this month I was on the Oprah website and there was a link to an article called "The sticker that started a world phenomenon."  Wow!  I had to read this.  Once I clicked on the link, it brought up a picture of the silver sticker I had seen once before in a bathroom on Mother's Day.  It turns out this sticker was created in part of a movement to share positivity, strength and confidence.  This movement was created by a man named Matthew Hoffman about ten years ago, initially with only 100 stickers.  Since then over half a million stickers have been printed and have made their way all over the world spreading his vision.  Amazing.

Matthew wants us all to share in his vision by getting some of his stickers and spreading them around everywhere we go.  If you are interested, click on the link below and it will take you to the You are Beautiful site. 

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

Watch this inspiring video of how Michael got started, how he created this project and how it has taken off like a rocket!  I'm ordering my stickers soon.  So if you see them around Dallas, you may just know that I left my mark.

In continuing with this message, I must say we have all held insecurities about ourselves whether they were physical, about our upbringing or how intelligent we are or are not.  When I was younger I was always teased about how skinny I was.  I never focused on my weight until people, including family, would point out my flaws.  I was called toothpick legs, skin and bones,  a giraffe because I was tall and slim and I was called a four eyed freak because I wore glasses.  I use to think so badly about myself at times and stare at myself in the mirror hating what I saw.  I never wore shorts, skirts or dresses.  I never wore heels because they would only make me look taller. I begged my parents to buy me contacts, which I finally managed to score at the age of 13.  Somehow along the way, I slowly started getting rid of these insecurities, but when I did, it was almost an immediate 180 reaction from everyone else.  You're conceited, you think you are all that.  Who does she think she is?

Well I was a very insecure girl, who had broken down a wall and finally felt pretty and now I was being hated for that. I didn't understand.  When your ugly, you get made fun of, but when you're "pretty", you are disliked.  I experienced both sides and both were equally exhausting and draining. 

Even with gaining confidence, it took me a while to wear anything that revealed my legs.  There was a point where I completely hated my legs.  The funny thing, is now they are one of my favorite features. I will have to say the turning point of wearing skirts and shorts happened after I watched a movie called, "Shallow Hal".  Gwyneth Paltrow was thin with slim legs and wore a skirt in several scenes.  I looked at her and thought wow, she's slim, tall and she looks great.  Soon after guess who was showing off her legs?  You guessed it.  I haven't stopped since.  And while I may not have the best legs in the world, they are mine and I love them.

 

 Some people don’t realize when you make fun of a person for being skinny, it’s equally as offensive and hurtful as calling a person fat.  I still get comments to this day about my weight and I think it’s so stupid.  Sometimes I wish I did have a curvaceous body, but that’s not what I was given.  I’m actually pretty happy now.  It’s quite funny though, to think of the very things I was made fun of are the things that people actually wish they had – a slimmer body, darker skin tone and height.

At 29 years old, I still deal with insecurities, as we all do.  There’s no denying we all dislike certain things about ourselves.  But in the end, we are all God’s creation, we are his masterpiece and we need to be thankful for the things we love about ourselves rather than focusing on the negative.  There are always people out there who have it worse than us. Besides physical attributes fade – boobs sag, stomachs get squishy, hair falls out and wrinkles start to appear.  What matters is what’s in our hearts, our personality and our ability to be outstanding people. So the next time someone makes fun of you or if you find yourself standing in front of a mirror picking every flaw, remember that we are all dealing with similar situations, but we must remember that we ARE all beautiful.  

You are God’s most prized possession; God made you who you are on purpose; Be content in who God made you to be; We have to accept who God made us to be; Be at peace on the inside in who God made you to be; It’s not what the painting looks like, it’s about Who painted it (God); We have been painted by the greatest Painter there is (God)! - Joel Osteen

Sybrina Fulton

Sybrina Fulton is a mother who lost her son on February 26, 2012.  Her son, Trayvon Martin was a 17 year old boy who was killed by George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watchman.  Regardless of your view of this case, that is a fact.

Most of America has kept up to date with the Zimmerman case -  myself included.  The verdict came in Saturday of "Not Guilty".  Some of us were disappointed and some of us were content. There is no question that this case has opened doors to conversations, awareness,questions and anger.

My biggest inspiration in this whole tragedy was the composure and strength that Sybrina Fulton held throughout this past year and a half. I put myself in her shoes as a mother and I can't even imagine the pain of losing a child, much less the anger she must have had for losing a child the way that she did.  I can't imagine keeping my mouth shut while people defamed my child in a courtroom and in the media.  I can't imagine not having justice served for the man who killed my child.  It is unimaginable.

You have to admit, most mothers would have not responded to the pressure of the pain or anger in such an elegant and potent way.  I really don't know if I could.  Could you?

What ever we go through in life, God always has the last word. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight."

Thank you for all you do

About six months or so, I went to one of those CVS minute clinics because I had a cold.  I was waiting for my name to be called when a police officer showed up.  He signed in after me and when he was done, I said Hello.  He replied back and we started a small conversation.  Mia, my daughter, was with me and he asked her if she wanted a sticker.  She said yes and he gave her a police sticker.  While waiting, we kept talking and he told me that he disliked when children were afraid of him or other police.  He said some parents, when they see him, will tell their kids, "Behave or I'll tell that policeman to take you to jail," or some other obnoxious comment like that which in turn will make the child afraid of police.  He voiced his frustration on the topic and I must agree, I have heard people make those comments or seen how some kids are afraid of policemen.

I have so much gratitude for people who risk their lives for strangers.  Policemen, Firemen, people in the armed forces, nurses, doctors, teachers - these people go above and beyond the call of duty to help people and I hate that most time their work goes unnoticed or taken for granted.

Since that day, I have shown my children to always acknowledge a police officer with a simple, "Thank you for all you do."  I have told them over and over, that now it is just habit for them and I can't tell you how happy that makes me.  It is remarkable to see how a simple Thank You lights up a persons face.

Try it one day - if you never have.  The reaction is always priceless.  You feel good and you make the other person feel good.  I think it's important we teach our kids to be thankful and this is such a small way to make a BIG difference.

Sunday Funday

Sunday has officially become my FAVORITE day of the week!  My Sundays consist of waking up early attending church, going out to eat after church and getting ready for the week. One of my favorite shows on the OWN network, Super Soul Sunday, comes on every Sunday.  

The purpose to this show is to "nourish your mind, body and spirit every Sunday. Super Soul Sunday features
interviews with the top spiritual leaders of the world. It is inspiring in many levels and definitely a show like no other on TV. 

As you know I love Oprah and I love that she has has used her platform to help others.  I have included some clips of my favorite episodes of Super Soul Sunday.  If you haven't caught this show on TV, I highly recommend.  

It is truly food for the soul. 

On another note, I just wanted to brag on my daughter's awesomeness.  She placed 2nd place in her first ever 1K.  She competed with children in ages 2-7 and came in 2nd Place in the Female category.