Gentlewomen, Brenda and Maria Garcia

Today’s featured Gentlewomen, Brenda and Maria Garcia are two sisters who have experienced difficulty, tragedy and turmoil in their short lives.  Most of us have experienced obstacles in our life, but when you read Maria and Brenda’s story, you’ll realize, some people and families, for some reason (that only God knows)  are given the short end of the stick, or so it seems. 

I use to think there was such a thing as bad luck, but actually there is no such thing.  God has our lives planned out even before we were formed in our mother’s womb.  Everything in life has a purpose and a reason for why, who, what, when and where.  You may look at Maria and Brenda and think “Wow, these girls had a bad luck streak.”  But I don’t think that at all.  What I see is overcomers, strength, wisdom and inspiration.  What may have been difficult for them has now in my eyes, become a message for everyone reading this, and that message is, “You can get through whatever comes your way, with God by your side.” 

These two ladies have shown great power in sticking together, being there for each other and their families and pushing through, even when they thought they couldn’t.  I am VERY inspired and deeply touched by their story and I hope you will be too.

Warning: You may need some tissue/waterproof mascara before reading this.

Brenda Garcia

Maria Garcia

1.    For those people who don’t know you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Maria: For those of you that don't know me, my name is Maria Garcia. I'm 30 years old and a mother of 3 lovely kids. I'm engaged to my children’s father, but I consider him my husband already.  I am very outspoken and I say things the way they are. I never try to sugar coat things. Most people think I am stuck up and uptight when they first see me but I am a very humble, down to earth person once you get to know me.

Brenda: Hello everyone. My name is Brenda Garcia, I'm 31 years old, happily married to such a wonderful man and I have 2 handsome young boys. I'm a property manager for one of the best companies I have ever worked for. On my spare time I love being with my family and I enjoy every minute of it. I would describe myself as always smiling and willing to help others.

2.    You both have beautiful children. Can you tell me more about them? Names and ages please.

Maria: As I mentioned, I have 3 kids, Adan (7yrs) he is a momma's boy and he gave me the strength to hang on and move on when I was going through my divorce from his father. He loves to build Legos, be on his iPad and he keeps to himself.  He is not much of an outdoor kid. Then there is Ava (2yrs) my miracle child. She is a fighter, very outgoing, loves attention, and she is a very friendly love able girl. She taught me to have faith in God and that He is great. Last but not least, there is our new arrival of only 2 weeks, Andrea(Andy) she is my baby, my fatty  and I am just having a blast with her.( I never got to enjoy Ava as an infant.)

Brenda: Christopher is 12 years old. "Mi Chaparro" Wow, this boy is something else (I think he's a little me) Mr. thinks he's all grown. He loves to dance, play soccer, clown around, and be the center of attention, but deep down, he is a very caring and loving young boy. Bryan, my second child, is 10 years old; he is “My Teddy Bear".  He is caring, loving, and responsible. He has his bipolar days and he keeps me busy with practices and soccer games. (He is a goal keeper). No matter how old they get, they will always be mommy's boys.

3.    Maria, you just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Congratulations. While this was a beautiful time, it must have been bittersweet for your sister Brenda, who lost her baby girl Kate earlier this year. I really admired how you were both there for one another. Can you both share your feelings on how you handled the situation?

Maria: When I first found out I was expecting Andy we (hubs and I) were super happy and excited because we had actually planned her and we just didn't think it would happen so soon.  At the same time I was sad because it had only been a month since my sister, my best friend; my other half had just lost her baby girl! I didn't know how to tell her as I felt guilty and selfish for feeling such joy in my life when I knew what she was going through.  When I finally told her (she was the first person I called), I could feel her pain through her words but I could also hear her sincere happiness for us. Brenda was there for all of my pregnancy and the day Andy was born wasn't going to be the exception.  When she walked in my room and saw the baby she broke in tears and once again I felt selfish for my joy, but I also understood her pain I cried and prayed in silence to God and my mom to give her the strength she needed. My sister walked in once again, but this time with her big smile. She didn't need to say anything; I could see how happy she was for me.

Brenda: Honestly I was very happy for my sister throughout her pregnancy, even more now to see what a beautiful healthy baby girl she has. The hardest day for me was when I was driving to the hospital to see baby Andrea for the first time. I started to have flashbacks of when I was rushed to the hospital by the paramedics, staying in the hospital for two weeks and coming out empty handed. I felt my eyes get watery; I felt a knot in my throat and a sharp pain in my heart. Since I held all my emotions in, when I walked in the room and saw baby Andy I broke down in tears and ran out the room. Once I was able to vent and cry it all out, I felt a great relief. I was now ready to see our new bundle of joy.  

4. Brenda, as mentioned, Kate went to be with the Lord much earlier than anyone would have ever anticipated. Can you share your emotions, thoughts and experience of what happened this year?

Brenda: Looking back on what happened this year, all I can say is that I do not wish it upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. I still now ask myself what happened, but only GOD knows why. I find peace knowing she is in good hands. (She is with our LORD and my MOM).

4.    Maria, your middle child, Ava has been a miracle baby. Can you give my readers a recap of the health issues Ava endured and a recap of her current health conditions? Also, as a mother, how did you find the strength to be a wonder woman mom and take care of not only Ava but your son Adan, balance being a wife and working?

Maria: Ava was born with a LIVER HEMANGETHELIOMA (a tumor on the liver) and although it is non cancerous, it was the size of a naval orange therefore causing her many health issues. Since the mass was so big for her tiny body, her heart was producing too much blood causing it to over work itself and stop working. Ava also had thyroid problems. The mass is made up of blood vessels therefore there was too much blood flow activity in her body and although some of the main vessels that were feeding the mass were coiled(clogged with spirals) others started growing causing her to over bleed herself inside so she was spitting up therefore needing blood transfusions. Doctors gave her two weeks to live since the mass was very big and most babies never make it out of surgery. Ava made it out of surgery twice. Ava ended up getting stomach ulcers because of the strong medicines she was on. She had pick lines put in and a central line for her steroids and fat nutrition. March 17, 2012 was the scariest day of my life. I got a call that Ava's weak body was being transported to the hospital via ambulance because she had caught bacterial meningitis through her central line and it had traveled to her brain. Ava was in the ICU for about a week and once again she fought it and beat it like a champ. To make a long story short Ava spent most of her 1st year of life in the hospital. Her central line is now out, her tumor is still there, but steroids have made it a little smaller.  The tumor hasn't grown in the last year and it is not causing any problems.  Ava is seen by a group of doctors yearly instead of weekly and we are only hoping it won't cause her anymore problems.  If it does she'll actually be old enough to have surgery and have it removed. During all this time I had my son to care for and who also needed all my attention.  Thanks to my husband and sisters, they were always there to take over and be with my son when I couldn't.  I practically lived in the hospital that year. I also had a full time job as a restaurant manager and I had to be there and handle other types of problems and be there with a clear head, but I had a nice and understanding boss who let me be out whenever I had to. It was a hard, rough year for us but I had lots of support from my family and my husband. I had to put my faith in God and trust that this would pass. A nurse once told me this when she saw me crying," There will be hard times before you get to all the good times and then all of this will be worth it." Oh man she was right.

6. What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

Maria: Women in our generation need to hear that we are the greatest thing ever created by God and by having faith in him we can beat all obstacles.

Brenda: I think women in our generation need to hear and know that we need to respect ourselves and have dignity. Also, never let any man put you down. Love yourself since we are God’s creation.

7. I think that the both of you are VERY strong women. Another tragic event that you both experienced in your lives was losing your mother. How did losing your mother affect you and how did you find the strength to get through such a very difficult time?

Maria: When my mom passed I was a week away from graduating high school and at that time I needed her more than ever.  All of a sudden all of my goals were over. I didn't see a point to achieve anything that my mom wasn't going to see. I was 18 years old and at the age where I was able to do whatever I wanted without someone getting on to me.  I started going out and partying and I also got myself into credit debt.  I was “living the life", or so I thought. It turned out that was my way of grieving.  I wanted my dad’s attention, but he was grieving himself so we never talked about it.  One day I was in a pretty bad car wreck with my cousin and from that day I realized I still had my dad and siblings who cared for me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my mom, but I now know she is with me daily.  Even then, I can't help but miss her dearly just like the first day that I lost her.

Brenda: Loosing my mom was really hard and painful for me as well. I had hidden my pregnancy throughout her illness not knowing how to tell her and how she would react. I wish I could hear her one more time even at least her getting on to me. I miss her dearly. I know I was not the best daughter but my conscious clear knowing I took care of her and did they best that I could until her last day. I know she is very proud of who I am now.  It is all thanks to her.

8. Who inspires you and why?

Maria: My inspiration is my parents. They came to this country to give their kids a better life than the one they had. My dad worked hard and never asked anyone for help to raise his 6 kids while my mother raised us in a way that I will always be grateful for. We were always first in their life.

Brenda: My dad is my inspiration. He always goes out of his way. He is such a hard working and dedicated man. He has taught me to work hard for what I want and to achieve my goals and be the best that I can. Not only is he my inspiration but he is my role model. He is my cook, babysitter, bank, landscaper, and my counselor. I thank God for giving me the best dad I could ever ask for.

9. What are your dreams?

Maria: As a mom my dreams is to see my kids grow up and have a career and form a family of their own always with God in their heart. As a person my dream is to one day have my own restaurant, well more like a small cafe. I know I will do it in the near future because I have my family's support and also because I want something I can call my own. As a wife my dream is live a long life with my husband. We have been put through a test of God that I know anything we can overcome anything else as long as we are there for each other.

Brenda: My dream as a mother is to see my boys grow in life, succeed and have a family of their own. As for me, my dream is to have my house paid for, be debt free, and travel with my husband. Last but not least have health, live and have God with me at all times.

10. What are you most proud of?

Maria: I am most proud of my kids. Everything I have done or accomplished is because of them. They are my most treasured trophies!!!

Brenda: I’m proud of what I have accomplished in live: Great work position, purchasing my home at an early age and for the united and humble family I have.

Gentlewoman, Korina Del Toro

My next featured Gentlewoman is Korina Del Toro, a 29 year old mother of 4 and an old friend from high school.  I choose Korina as my next Gentlewoman because I wanted to feature someone who has decided to take one of the roads less traveled these days - the stay at home mom road.  I don’t have a lot of friends who are stay at home moms. It seems the choice of becoming a stay at home mom is no longer a choice, because nowadays two incomes are what it takes to make a family’s financial situation work.  

Korina has taken this road by choice and is embracing enjoying every minute with her children.  She has a husband who is supportive and I think that makes all the difference.  Yes, we as women are strong individuals, but I think when we get the support of our husbands, we excel our children to a higher level of love and encouragement.  It also feels good knowing you are not in it alone.  Let me also mention that Korina has to be one of the hottest mother of four that I know.  Pregnancy was made for her.  I have to admit I wish I looked like her when I was pregnant.  No swelling, no bulging, just a beautiful belly and a beautiful glow. So sit back, relax, grab a cup of Joe on this cold day and prepare yourself for a great interview with this beautiful and inspiring mom of four.

1.    For those that don't know you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Hello everyone my name is Korina Del Toro, I’m 29 years old and my life is my kids. I feel extremely lucky to have a strong man by my side.  Luis is my rock and he always makes sure his kids and I are well taken care of. I'm a stay at home mom of my 3 little ones.  We are currently expecting our 4^th any day now.

2.  You are currently pregnant with your fourth child. Can you tell me a little bit about your children?

My oldest is Damien.  He is five years old and he is such a laid back, smart, sweet little boy.  He is super competitive, he loves sports and he is very mature for his age.  Damien plays baseball and basketball and he loves it. Dalayne is three years old and she’s a little Diva.  She is my little chatter box and she is such a girly girl, smart, sweet and always wanting to help.  Dalayne is in dance and modeling. My third child is Desilyn and she is one year old. She is a sweet little girl who is very independent for her age. She is a daddy’s little girl all the way and she has the cutest little personality. I'm currently expecting my 4th little one.  His name will be Dillon Kai and his brother and sisters are extremely anxious to meet him.

3.    I admire women who are committed to raising their children. Like teachers and policemen, being a mother is so rewarding, but overlooked from being a full time job. What do you want people to know about motherhood and the work that it requires to raise successful children?

During the time we were working on getting pregnant with our second child my hubby and I already had a plan for me to leave work and become a full time mommy. I was always independent as I had lived on my own since the age of 17, so it was going to be a big change having someone providing for us but it just felt right, and now I wouldn't change it. I have the opportunity to be around my children in their early years and I love that. Some mothers find it boring being a stay at home mom and can’t wait to get back to work and others find it totally satisfying. I find it satisfying.  I get to see their first everything and I get to encourage them and teach them every step of the way. I thank God everyday for allowing me to do so.

4. I have a five year old and a fourteen year old and they take up ALL my time. How do you currently balance 3 kids and how do you think you will balance when the 4th one enters the world? (Any tips?)

It is definitely not an easy job. It takes a lot of patience. Not only are my kids all very close in age, but they require a lot of attention and time. My husband and I are always on the go with the oldest since he is attending school and is also participating in baseball and basketball. My little 3 year old is in dance and modeling, and my little Desilyn just turned one and is exploring everything, but we manage and we are there to help out each other. When I was pregnant with my 3rd I was a little overwhelmed thinking how I was going to manage, but everything falls into place and you adjust to them and they adjust to you. I think having my 4th will become the same adjustment.  Don’t get me wrong, thoughts still go through your mind and at times you think how will I do it? But thank God I have a man that not only provides for us, but he also helps me out in every way that he can. It makes my job a lot easier.

5. What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

 Women in our generation should be happy with themselves.  Don't worry about trying to impress others. Always push to strive for more and follow your dreams.  

6. What are you most proud of?

What I'm most proud of I would have to say is the relationship my husband I have with each other .We are both on the same page on raising our kids and we both share the same dreams and little by little we are accomplishing them. We are always there for each other and we try to be the best role models we can be for our children.

7. Looking back on your life, how did motherhood change you? It changed me so much! My children are now my life and my most precious gifts. I have been enriched by the love they have inspired in me. They have made my life richer and fuller than it otherwise would have been. By me having them by my side I always think of ways we can better our future.

8. You have one son and two daughters (another baby boy is also on his way). How does raising a boy and girl differentiate?

I think every kid is different. They all have their different little personalities. All of my kids are different but in my experience my little girls are more sensitive and moody at times and my boy is more carefree and imaginative.

9. Who inspires you and why? God, my mom, and my kids inspire me. God has never let me down and has always by my side. My mom has been through so much and has always up to this day been very strong and has always managed to move on. My kids, each one of them, have inspired me in many ways. From the perspective of a loving parent, seeing the beauty in each of them has helped me see the beauty in others. They have made me a better person.

10. What are your dreams?

My dreams are to raise my kids to always be humble, to love each other and to be very close to us and one another.  My dreams are to see them accomplish everything they desire and be successful in life and to be happy.

Gentlewoman, Maricia Perez

You know when you meet someone and you just hit it off?  Well that would be the best way I could describe the relationship that has been established between myself and Maricia.  Maricia happens to be my husband’s cousin, but due to certain reasons, I never got to really know Maricia.  But that all changed on Easter Day of this year, which was the day, my family found our second home at Fellowship Church.  We were unaware that my husband’s family from his biological dad was attending this church and I tell you, it was all a part of God’s divine purpose.  From finding a church that we love, to being surrounded by our family and friends, God really had an amazing plan for us. 

Getting to know Maricia over these last few months has truly been a gift.  She is a FLAVOUR Sisterhood leader (and yes, I’m in her group), an active volunteer at church, her daughters are beautiful and sweet and most recently Maricia found herself a man at church.  (Go Maricia!)  Maricia has become my inspiration to begin volunteering and she’s been someone who I feel so comfortable talking with.  We share so much love for Christ that it has brought us so close together.

Maricia, you are my sister from the same mister (God) and I wish nothing but the best for you and your family. I’m so happy God brought my family to Fellowship so we could keep a relationship with a different part of Chris’ family.  Thank you for your motivation, your inspiration and for everything you do.  You are truly a woman of God!

Me and Maricia volunteering at Fellowship Church

1.   For those who don’t know you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Well, the best way I can describe myself, I would have to say that I am a servant.

I serve in the house = volunteer 

I serve my children = mom

I serve my family and friends = always cooking and having gatherings

I serve my clients = hair dresser for 16 years

2.   You are an active volunteer and church goer. What was the turning point in becoming so devoted to church/Christ? The turning point was during Fellowship’s service at Klyde Warren Park. I took the kids and we volunteered. We meet so many people and had so much fun. It did not seem like we were there for 7 hours. It was amazing to see thousands of people hear the word of salvation. It still gives me chills when I think about it. I made my mind up to put everything in God’s hands. Serving is a reward for my soul. The church is my home.

3.   You are a mother of three girls. Can you tell me about them and what your hopes are for their future?

Erin 15, Julia 11, and Sophia who is almost 3. They are all so different. Erin is a teenager who wants so much to be a grown up. Julia is in that transition stage and Sophia is full of life and energy. My hope for them is to stay grounded with their relationship with Christ, to inspire and be a blessing to others and to have compassionate hearts.

4.  What is the hardest situation you have experienced? How were you able to get through that situation? My breaking point turned out to be my break through point. I was six months pregnant with my third child, depressed, financially broke and my husband decided he no longer wanted to be with me. After a horrible fight with him I was literally on the bathroom floor crying. I have to admit I really couldn't see a future for myself. (I didn't want to see one.) All of a sudden I heard a loud voice "Maricia Get Up!" Thinking it was my step father on the other side of the door I got up, stopped crying, and washed my face. When I opened the door and walked to the front of my house I realized no one was there. The loud voice was my Father, my heavenly father. God was telling me to "get up".  He was there with me at my lowest point and He never left my side. He is my rock. I now realize that was the best moment in my life.

5.  What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

This may sound old fashion but, Go to church! Put God first. Ask Him to come into your life, develop and relationship with him. If you do not own a bible get one. All the answers were left for us in that book.

6.  What are you most proud of?

I am most proud of the passion that I have for God's house. It consumes me. I love serving. It has changed my life in so many ways. I love the friendships that I have found, I love what it is doing for my whole family and  I love bringing people closer to Christ. So you could say I am Very Proud to wear my Fellowship name badge.

7.   We both share a love for church, Christ and faith. What was your biggest challenge with letting go of the old and embracing the new?

Letting go of past baggage, embracing what God is doing to me and pouring it out to others.

8.  Who inspires you and why?

There are a handful of ladies at church who inspire me. I look at them and see passion for what they are doing at church. From how they are changing lives in the children's ministry, helping out at the Mix or encouraging women at Flavour - their devotion is inspiring to me. 

9.  Please describe in your words the joy, love and peace that comes from being a Christ follower?

Once I figured out that God loved me so much that he sacrificed his only beloved son that thought overwhelmed my heart and took over my soul with joy, love, and peace. It is truly something great.

10. What is the best piece of advice you have received? 

       God works “MIRACLES". It's up to us to receive them.

Gentlewoman, Claudia Capetillo

I was just rereading my Gentlewoman Interviews the other day and became so inspired by rereading each and every one.  I want to continue this series because my hope is that someone will get inspired and decide to reach up.

My next Gentlewoman is Claudia Capetillo, a beautiful, sweet friend of mine.  Claudia didn’t let having a baby at 16 stop her from living out her dreams.  Her daughter Genesis has a smile that is contagious.  Claudia has raised this little girl to be a shining star and I know that the foundation she has laid down for her will take her far.  Claudia recently graduated with a degree in Education and landed her dream job as a bilingual elementary teacher.  As we have all experienced, struggles get in the way of relationships, family, education and everything else.  What I love to witness is seeing people, especially women, overcome all those barriers, obstacles and statistics to prove everyone else wrong.  I’m sure the road wasn’t easy, but what Claudia has shown is that it can be done, regardless of what you are going through. 

Claudia just turned thirty (whoo hoo) and she is embracing the age rather than sinking into the negativity of getting older.  Congrats Claudia on all you have accomplished.  

1.     For those people who don’t know you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?  I’m a thirty year old who loves life and is truly blessed.  God has been amazing to me.  I have a wonderful 13 year old daughter who is EVERYTHING to me.  I have a great man by my side that supports and spoils me and his daughter.  Overall, I’m a lucky girl.

2.     You have one of the hardest, but most underpaid jobs in the world. What made you decide you were going to be a teacher? I think I always knew I wanted to teach.  It is one of the hardest and underpaid jobs, but I love it.  It’s stressful and draining, but at the same time it’s extremely rewarding.  I help mold young children.  I inspire them to learn.  In what other job do you have 40 people looking up to you and admiring you?  Also, the kids are a trip.  They make me laugh.  I love what I do.

3.     As a teacher, what do parents need to do to make their children more successful?  I think the best thing parents can do is support the teacher.  Always let your child know that you and the teacher are on the same page working together to achieve student success.  Also, nourish being a good reader.  Read to young kids and even babies.  Support their love for reading.  Being a good reader will help with everything they have to do in school.  Did you know that when the state is building a new prison and figuring out how many cells to build, they look at how many kids in third grade aren’t reading at grade level?  Statistics show that a child who doesn’t read at grade level in third grade has a higher risk of being in prison.  Scary!

4.     You have broken the barriers of the statistic world by becoming a successful young woman who had a child at a young age. What motivated you to finish school and pursue your dreams? Fear.  Fear of being a failure, fear of not being able to provide for my child, fear of being another statistic.  Ultimately, it was my daughter.  She was my drive.  I need her to always be proud of me and look up to me.

5.     What do you think women in our generation need to hear? Oh man, love yourself.  Love your children.  Support them, encourage them and always make time for them.  Also, I would love for women to understand that men should never come before yourself or your children.  That’s just my opinion.

6.     Who inspires you and why? Genesis, my daughter.  She makes me want to do better so that she can have a role model.  Also, my kids inspire me.  I love to watch them grow intellectually and emotionally.  They inspire me to be a better teacher for them.

7.     What are you most proud of? The number one thing I am most proud of is the fact that even though I was 16 years old when I had Genesis, I have raised her to be the young lady she is today.  She is my success story.  She’s happy, loving, confident, smart and absolutely amazing.

8.     What is the best piece of advice you have ever received? The best piece of advice I have ever received is to never give up and to always keep moving towards success.

9.     You have a daughter who is now a teenager, what are the biggest battles facing our teens and how have you helped your daughter fight against them?  Well, I think what scares me the most about this generation is bullying.  (I think that’s a problem in any generation, but a bigger risk now with social media.)  Also, drugs scare me so much!  I help my daughter by making sure she knows how much she’s worthy and that no one has the right to make her feel less than.  I also don’t allow her to have a social media account. I feel she has no need for it at this age.  (She also doesn’t care to have one either, which helps.)  I talk to Genesis with the TRUTH!  I don’t sugar coat anything.  I’m sincere with her about girl drama, which can get out of hand at this age (especially at an all girls school), boys, and my struggles as a young mom and drugs.  We also have an open line of communication.  I always want to keep it open.

10.  What are your dreams?  I dream to watch my daughter grow up to be a successful happy woman.  I dream of going back to school and receiving another degree.  I dream to make the best of life and live happily ever after with my loved ones. 

Dear Gilbert

Brother, I made a promise earlier this year that I would use your departure as my number one reason to pursue and accomplish many things this year.  As you have seen I'm sure, I've been leaping all this year, taking myself to new destinations. One of the things I have been most proud of was the goal I reached in your honor for The American Heart Association.  $1,110 - can you believe that?  Not only did I reach my goal, but I surpassed it.  I did it with the help of family and friends who unselfishly donated hard earned money.  It was such a humbling experience to see everyone come together to create a beautiful selfless act.  I know you are not here physically, but I felt you and your love every step of the way.  I honestly didn't feel I could do something like this by myself, but what I learned along the way is that I am capable of making a difference. 

I had a conversation today with a young woman in the same profession as me and she asked me what my goals were professionally.  I told her I wanted to continue my career in Human Resources to the highest level I could obtain.  I also told her my mission was to one day work for The American Heart Association.  I explained that I had lost you this year and that I wanted to dedicate my life to helping other people, making a difference and working for a company that did just that.  

I often times wish I would have helped educate you more about your heart and your health and at times those thoughts can turn into negativity that ends up torturing me with the thought of what if.  What if I would have helped you more?  What if we as a family would have educated ourselves with your health conditions and devoted ourselves to keeping you healthy before it got to the point that it did?  I know those questions are just lost words because we both know our destiny's are already set and there is no way to escape what God has planned for our lives.  

I want you to know that your life made a difference to me.  I want you to know that your love for God and your teachings to me at a very young age about God made a difference.  I want you to know that your health conditions weren't given to you without a bigger plan.  They were given to you for a purpose and for this moment. They were given to you for me. So I could learn everything I learned this year about faith, family, love, friendship, support, confidence......on and on.   I have learned so much this year I feel that my head and heart will explode with all the wisdom I have gained.  I love you so much and I want you to know that I will continue to do my best to make you proud and to reach out to others and make an impact in their lives.  I want to educate and inform people in the importance of health and the importance of a relationship with God.  

I promise next year I'll aim at bigger and better.

With love always, 

                Your baby sis 

Feet, what do I need you for when I have wings to fly?

September 15 through October 15 is the month long national celebration of Hispanic Heritage which recognizes contributions of Hispanic and Latino Americans to the United States and also a celebration of the heritage and culture.  I wanted to take part in this month’s celebration to feature one of my favorite Mexican women Frida Kahlo, the Mexican painter, who is highly known and recognized for herself portraits or as we like to call them, “selfies”.  My love for Frida blossomed through a friend of mine who adored Frida.  I learned so much about Frida, her life, her paintings, and most importantly, her pain.  As a Mexican American, it makes me very proud to say that Frida was a strong Mexican woman, who paved the way for other women artists and became such an inspiration for women in general. 

Frida Kahlo de Rivera was born on July 6, 1907 in Coyocaoan, Mexico City, Mexico and started her paintings after she was severely injured in a bus accident. Kahlo suffered several injuries resulting from a steel handrail, which went through her hip.  When Frida went home to recover from her accident, she took up painting and finished her first self portrait the following year. Kahlo later married Diego Rivera, a Mexican muralist who she watched create the mural, “The Creation” in her school’s lecture hall before her accident.  Frida dealt with infidelity, miscarriages, pain and even experienced the ultimate betrayal by her own sister and her husband Diego.  When this happened, Frida cut off most of her dark hair. The marriage union between the two was not ideal, traditional or easy, but they loved each other and managed to stay together and even remarried after they had divorced. Frida unfortunately suffered from health issues, which eventually took her life in July of 1954. Since Frida’s death, she has been viewed by many as a Mexican icon and a female of great creativity.  Salma Hayek later went on to portray the Mexican artist in a 2002 film titled, “Frida”.

One of my favorite paintings is, The Two Fridas (1939), which show two versions of Frida sitting side by side, which was painted during her divorce with Diego.    The painting represents her deep hurt after losing her husband.  One Frida sits on the left (the Frida that felt rejected by Diego), with her blouse ripped open, exposing her broken and bleeding heart.  The Frida on the right (the Frida that is still loved by Diego), has a heart that is intact and holds a picture of Diego.  I think the representation of hurt in this painting can be felt by many people who have endured a broken heart. The saying is true, "A picture is worth a thousand words."  Frida didn't downplay her hurt or hide any of her feelings.  The representation of all her emotions were there in her art.

Frida was not only an incredible artist, but she was also a fashionista.  She created herself and her identity through her uni brow, her love of bright colors, the flowers in her hair and beautiful attire.  There is no other Frida.  She was such a trendsetter, blowing away the competition. 

"I use to think I was the strangest person in the world, but then I thought, there are so many people in the world, there must be someone just like me who feels bizarre and flawed in the same ways I do.  I would imagine her, and imagine that she must be out there thinking of me too.  Well, I hope that if you are out there and read this and know that, yes, it's true.  I'm here, and I'm just as strange as you." - Frida Kahlo 

 Thank you Frida for showing me that I'm not alone, or better yet, that we as women, are not alone.   

I Don't Know How She Does It

Have any of you seen that movie?  The one starring the famous Sarah Jessica Parker, or as we all know her, “Carrie Bradshaw”?  I recently saw this movie a while back and I loved it.   “I Don’t Know How She Does It”, is a movie about a working mom trying to balance work, kids, her spouse, and herself.  Lately – well actually the beginning of this school year has been such a juggling act and its sad because it literally just started a few weeks ago.  It’s been a bigger adjustment this year and I don’t know why I don’t have myself together yet.  Our week consists of dance, football practice, church, football games and if we’re lucky, we actually will get one day during the week where we actually eat all together as a family.  My days of running during the week are gone.  Nooooo!  I’m not use to this and I will have to say, I went a little cray, cray from the feeling of “not having it all together”.   I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, but I guess I just wanted to vent.  This mom had a moment, but then again, haven’t we all? (Please say yes. I don't want to be the only one.)

I’m 29 years old and I have a 14 year old stepson and a 5 year old daughter.  Before I gave birth to my daughter, I was already on the mom discovery process because I now had a stepson.  At 23 years old, becoming a mom to an 8 year old was honestly kind of weird and I had no idea what to do, how to act or what to say.  People say that when you give birth, you immediately just know what to do and things come naturally.  I’d like to say that is mostly true, but it doesn’t apply when you become a step-parent.  The road I must admit has come with highs and lows, bumps and stars.  Luckily, I was accepted with arms wide open into this little boy’s heart.  The older I’ve gotten the more experienced and assured I feel as a mother to not only him, but my daughter as well.  My hands are pretty full with the both of them.  The stages of life they are both in are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum.  I have a daughter who is into Justin Bieber, coloring and everything sparkly.  She depends on me in many levels.  My stepson on the other hand is going through puberty, liking girls and becoming a young man.  He is starting to get embarrassed by things I use to get embarrassed about with my parents.  I just stop and say, “Hey, you have young parents.  What could you possibly be embarrassed about?”   But I guess parents are parents and yes, we, I mean they can be embarrassing, when you’re that age. 

Most women in my generation are working moms.  Speaking for myself, I love being a working mom.  I love that I have my own career, my own identity aside from motherhood.  I love being a mom and I am my kids biggest fan, always there to support them and provide them with all that I can, but I do love that I get the best of both worlds. BUT and yes that’s a big but – it is nowhere near easy and at times I feel I could use an assistant (especially here recently), but realistically, we all know that’s not possible.  So I’m like an clown juggling ten balls in the air, trying my hardest not to drop one. 

So how do I do it?  How do I balance work, kids, my husband and myself?  Well the answer is there is no answer.  I just do it.  Sometimes I fail, but most times I succeed.  I’m a multitasker at heart, so when one ball drops I freak out.  I like order and when things don’t go as ideal as I dream them up in my head to be, I can lose myself in the process.  So I was M.I.A from my blog for a few weeks trying to focus my time and attention on the kids, but I have regrouped, put my big girl panties on and decided to stop worrying when things are getting hectic.  (or at least try to) 

I enjoyed a weekend getaway with my husband last week for our 5 year wedding anniversary and I collected my thoughts during my church’s sisterhood group meeting this Wednesday.  How good it feels to have women around you to lift you up!  

So I know I’m not alone with the juggling act of life.  How do you do it?

Oh and if you haven’t see the movie, check out the trailer here.  I’m sure you’ll love it.  It’s so relatable.