Why you gotta be so rude?

 

How are you supposed to react when someone treats you unfairly?  What do you do when someone is rude to you?  There is always some part of us, (if not a BIG part of us) that wants to reciprocate those actions right back.  Let’s be real.  When someone is rude, don’t we just want to say, “Excussssssseee Me……….oh no you didn’t.”

Well chances are, we can’t always come out with those words or actions.  If you are dealing with someone in authority, we just can’t be that way.  I remember one day my mom and I were at Macy’s.  My mom was checking out and I had a coupon I wanted my mom to use to save an extra 15%.  The lady at the cash register couldn’t figure out how to apply the coupon, so instead she told me that we couldn’t use it.  I responded very nicely by saying, “Can you try again?”  She looked at me as if I was stupid and said, “You can’t use it.”  I began to get irritated.  The problem was I pulled the coupon up on my phone.  It was not printed.  Most times, the associate would pull the code from the phone and key it in and viola, the discount was applied.  I’m assuming she did not know how to do it and rather than ask a coworker, she proceeded to tell me I couldn’t use it AND she was rude.  I had been going to church for a while at this point and I was trying my best not to be rude back.   I knew I had to represent kindness, love and compassion.   “Mam, I use these coupons all the time.  Usually the person just keys in the code and it works.  Do you think you could ask someone to help?”  She got so upset and proceed to tell me once again that I couldn’t use the coupon.  She then stared at me as if I was stupid and I couldn’t hold it in anymore………I stared at her right back.  (It was a staring contest at this point.)  “Can you please not look at me like I’m stupid?  I’ve used these coupons before.”  By this time, her coworker came over and showed her that all she had to do was key in the code.  Just like magic, the coupon was applied and I received 15% off.  She was so upset.  She wanted to have the last word (of course) so as she finished ringing us up, she went on to say that those coupons are supposed to be printed, yada, yada, yada…..  I let her talk, but by then I was already upset.  Part of me was mad at myself for slipping.  After my mom paid, we walked off and she laughed.  “I just saw the old Vickie come out.”  I can look back and laugh too, but at the moment I was still upset.  Why did she have to be so rude?

I don’t know how I would handle if this happened again.   The old saying is so true, Kill them with kindness, but sometimes that doesn’t seem to get you anywhere (at least that’s how you feel in the moment). 

One of my coworkers just resigned and after talking more in depth with her, it seems she was dealing with an unpleasant group of girls who have been referred to as “The Mean Girls”.   The stress was weighing on her.  My coworker is a Christian woman and a big ray of sunshine.  She was always so happy and peppy, so to hear she was dealing with this stress for the past 9 months was surprising.  I had no clue.  She really hid it well.  She told me, “I didn’t want to run from this.  I wanted to be the bigger person and kill them with kindness.” Amongst all her efforts, there was no avail.  A personal issue occurred that called her back home to Louisiana, but the damage had been done and the decision to leave was made easier due to the problem at work.

So what do you do when things like this happen?

One thing I’ve learned though many of my trials/valleys is that every time you face some sort of adversity or injustice or hardship, it’s placed for different reasons, but ultimately, I’ve seen that those times are there to build your character.  How are you going to handle it?

But it’s unfair, I don’t like it……… Yep, I’ve said those things before.  God, I’m trying but I just can’t anymore.  God then proceeds by telling me, “You can’t or you won’t?” 

You got me.  It’s because I don’t want to.

I’m still going through my sharpening so I can’t really tell you the key factor that gets you to the other side other than communicating with God and reflecting on the word.  When I do that I get a brand new perspective and I feel convicted when my actions don’t match with his direction.  

Whatever difficulty or difficult person you are dealing with right now, learn to look at the situation differently.  Instead of fighting against it, try to accept the situation as a way God is sharpening you.  Give thanks and change your perspective.   

You will get through it and you will become a better person because of it.  I have no doubt.
 

The Oak Tree

A mighty wind blew night and day It stole the oak tree's leaves away Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark Until the oak was tired and stark But still the oak tree held its ground While other trees fell all around The weary wind gave up and spoke. How can you still be standing Oak? The oak tree said, I know that you Can break each branch of mine in two Carry every leaf away Shake my limbs, and make me sway But I have roots stretched in the earth Growing stronger since my birth You'll never touch them, for you see They are the deepest part of me Until today, I wasn't sure Of just how much I could endure But now I've found, with thanks to you I'm stronger than I ever knew

Touch the Sky

Music  can be an array of things: entertaining, soothing, romantic, energizing, and even motivational.

Have you ever felt like your day is starting off as a total bust?  Ever felt in need of some inspiration?  Music comforts me and it gets me through most days.  I’m a big fan of Spotify and I wanted to share my different playlists with you. I hope you can find some inspiration or an uplift in mood through my playlists.

Follow me on Spotify.

Touch the Sky – inspiration/uplifting faith based music/worship music
 

I Need You the Most - upbeat, dance, hip hop/rap music




Fiesta - party music (mainly Spanish)




Chai Again - slow jams, mostly acoustic (mellow/chill mood)

Girl Chat

I was joined by one my favorite friends this Saturday to a workout session by Grit Fitness held at our local mall in Dallas, TX.  We found ourselves sweaty and pushing through each set as strangers walked passed us.  We didn’t care, we were on a mission to feel good!  After our sweat fest, we found ourselves hungry (of course, right after a workout) and found a nearby spot to catch up on girl chat.  A hour later, we departed and it felt great to catch up, laugh, share and vent. 

After I left, I was on my way home and I got a text from my sister-in-law Rita, “When can we have a one on one date?  I miss you and we need to talk about life.”  Before I go on, I have to tell you, I had a million and one things to do that day, and although I wanted to respond and say, “Yes, let’s meet up” all I could do was think of my to do list.  Just as I was going back and forth in my head.  I stopped mid thought.  I just started reading “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” and I remembered a passage I had just read the night before.  I can’t remember it verbatim, but it said something along the lines of don’t obsess with to do lists.  When you check off your items, there will immediately be a new list of items to check off.  When you die, you will still have an inbox of things to do.  Sometimes you just have to enjoy life as it is without worrying if things will get done or not.  Now, I feel this applies to personalities like mine who can’t just stop and smell the roses.  If you are like me, you’ll understand.  I’m always on the go, with things to do and sometimes there just isn’t enough time to relax.  Although, I love that about myself, it can also be a negative factor.  So instead of putting it off for tomorrow, I gave my sister in law a call and said, “I’m free today.  What time do you want to meet up?” 

And how glad was I that I let go of my to do list for the day.  Not only did I accomplish letting go of a planned day of list checking, I managed to not only get my items done, but I also got to spend time with 3 special ladies in my life.  I met my mom for a pedicure and a little shopping and still had time to go to the groceries and clean house.  I spent that night relaxing and having more girl chat with my sister-in-law.  The best kind of girl chat is being in your comfy clothes and grabbing a coffee or tea.  We sat outside of Starbucks with the night sky as our backdrop and sipped our lattes and expressed our frustration with work and shared topics that were weighing on us.  We closed down Starbucks and we were the last car in the lot.  Talk about girl chat to its fullest. 

Having time to reflect on life with friends is like sunshine on a darkened day.  It cheers us up.  It helps us release what we hold in that our husbands just don’t understand. 

My take away for today is make time for a girlfriend in your life.  Sometimes you’ll realize you need it more than they do.