Seventy times Seven

Peter asked the Lord, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me?  Up to seven times?” Jesus responded by saying we are to forgive “seventy times seven”.  (Matthrew 18: 21-22)

What does this mean? 

Jesus says we should forgive four hundred and ninety times.  That sure is a lot.  I’m thinking, really God – I should forgive a person that many times?  The answer is no, not quite. While Jesus’ response was seventy times seven, his answer was used as a way to tell Peter to go above and beyond with forgiveness with no limitations. We should forgive no matter the amount of the weight of the wrong.  We should just forgive. In Ephesians 4:32, Paul tells us that we should forgive one another, “just as God has forgiven us.”

Yesterday morning I came to work and was surprised at how many emails I had in my inbox from the weekend.  As I started to scheme through, there in bright blue letters was the punch in the gut “CareerBuilder Job Application: HR Generalist”.  Excuse me?? 

So most of you are wondering, “Why would this upset you?”  Well, I am starting a new job next Monday.  A big reason for my departure was lack of advancement within my current company.  My boss had been throwing these “promises” to me saying that as soon as the company grew then she would be able to move me into a higher position.  Ding, ding, ding, ding – you guessed it, the HR Generalist position.  Waiting and waiting for that opportunity had my endurance run dry, along with some issues on the lack of direction/guidance my boss had given me.  This past year I finally made my concerns arise, and again I was promised the same story.  There wasn’t enough in the budget she said.  We’re not growing right now, but as soon as we do, we will put you in that position she said.  This year we have lost 19 properties…………..but now that I am leaving somehow the budget expanded and even though we were getting smaller, the opportunity was there.

I’ve given this company six years of dedication.  I took iniative.  I came to work on time every day.  I went above and beyond what was expected, but yet here I was staring at the computer feeling as if I had just been given a punch in the stomach. 

I’ll tell you this much, I wasn’t that surprised, in fact I was expecting this.  I had already put two and two together and figured that my boss would pull a slimeball move like this.  I paused for a moment and felt the anger creeping in along with the feelings of hurt.  I ended up concluding that while this hurt, the decision to leave was confirmed for me. I was thrilled to no longer work for someone who lacked certain character and moral qualities. 

The funny thing was that I wasn’t supposed to know.  Someone accidentally forgot to update the receiving person’s email and in doing so left my email address which is why my box was now inudated with resumes.  It’s hard to stay calm in a situation like this.  It’s hard not to feel betrayed.  I couldn’t understand. 

Stay calm, cool and collected was repeated over and over in my head.  Dear Lord, help me.  Help me get through this.   What does the Lord tell us during times of unfairness?  What does he say when someone does us wrong?  Forgive.  Let it go.  I will fight your battle, I will right your wrongs.  I just told my friend this morning, “Ugh, why does Jesus gotta be so nice?”  It’s hard to act like Him, when we’ve been wronged.  All I wanted to do is be mad, but that’s not the answer. 

I don’t know why God is having me go through this.  All I can conclude is that by prayer and petition, He opened door and he saved me from years of unhappiness at this job.  While it hurt to see the true colors of my superior, it helped me rest assured that I made the right decision to leave.  I’ve had to readjust my thinking to the positive and stray from the negative.  You see instead of focusing on the excitement of my new job, I began to dwell on the wrongs that had been done to me at my job.  “No, no, no”, God said.  Let that go and let me help you get through the day.”  I’ve been having a hard time though.  Some moments I feel completely at peace, while others I find myself sulking on feelings of hurt and anger.  Being a Christian woman is not easy.  My flesh says “get even” while my spirtual heart says “forgive and let it go”.  It’s been a battle, believe me.  Even now, I’m still working on staying in my positive lane.  Sometimes it is easy to forgive and forget, but other times, it is a process and so far it has been that way for me.   

Romans 8:28 is one of my favorite verses, “And we know that all things work for good for those that believe….”  Stay focused on God’s word.  Remember He will right your wrongs.  Things may seem unfair now, but God has the last word.  Do right no matter what. 

Yesterday on my way home, God placed the perfect song to come on.  If you are facing any hardship through an unfair circumstance I hope this song provides you with some peace.

Oh, Father, give me grace to forgive them 'Cause I feel like the one losin'

How Am I Gonna Pay My Bills?

As most of you know, I am starting a new job in a couple of weeks.  You may also know that this job comes with a pay cut.  I talked about this in my blog post Wait,what? I prayed so hard for this opportunity and when God opened the door wide open I was so happy and thankful.  When news came on what my compensation would be, that’s when it happened – that big blow to my stomach that knocked me down to my knees.  Wait, what?  That was my reaction.  God, why would you open this door and then provide me with compensation of 10k less?  I couldn’t wrap my head around it.  I felt discouraged.  I was confused. 

I know life is not about making the most money, or collecting all these expensive trinkets and gadgets.  I know that – BUT, in the back of my mind, I had this hope that God would just open the door to not only an advancement in my career but he would also open the floodgates of increase of wealth in my lap.  That my friend was the selfish and greedy side of me. 

When I got the news, believe me, I was so discouraged.  I battled with questioning myself, “Well should I still take this job?”  “Will my family survive on less income?”  It was all too much for me to handle.  Immediately, I reached out to my sisters in Christ.  After their outpouring support through texts came through, I knew in my heart that God had answered my prayer even though he didn’t answer it exactly how I’d hoped.  He knows why he does what He does and looking back, he always has a bigger purpose in why things unfold the way they do.

Today, you may be facing the same struggle.  Should I take the job that pays less?  I’m unhappy where I’m at but I’m scared to make a change.  I won’t ever be able to find a job that pays me what I’m making now.  I’m getting older and competition is stronger so I think I’ll just stay where I’m at.

I’d like to encourage you – if you don’t like your job or if you feel your aren’t following your purpose/calling, try to walk out on faith and ask God to put you where He wants you to go.  You may have to take two steps back, you may take a hit in finances, but you’ll never know how happy you will be until you take that chance.  If you put God in center of your job search, believe me, He will open doors. 

To give you some motivation and encouragement I’d like to share some of the messages I received that day. The first text message I received was from my friend, sister in Christ and fellow Gentlewoman, Jessica Yanez-Perez:

Definitely pray and think of these questions:

1.       Does this opportunity feel like a God opportunity?

2.       Is there room for growth in experience and salary that you may not get in your current position?

3.       Although this position won’t fill your pocketbook in the same way, will it fill your passion and allow you better opportunity to fulfill your passion?

4.       How will this affect your family not only financially, but will this allow more or less time to spend with them? 

Answering these questions allowed my mind to adjust and know hey, you’ve got this great opportunity, don’t be scared on the figure.  Think about what it will do for you as a whole.

Among all the other texts, there was this one text from my other sister in Christ and fellow Gentlewoman, Rani Chavez that ultimately confirmed my decision.

“When we lived in Denver, Luis was in a similar situation.  The position he had that brought us to Denver came with a significant raise.  However, he grew into a position similar to yours with his managers.  He ended up leaving and took a job that was much less.  He actually ended up making less than I was.  But God saw us through.  He provided when we thought we would never be able to.   To this day, Luis and I don’t even know how we were able to cover all our bills and still have money left over.  I know it feels like a disappointment because it felt like that for us, but Luis was so much happier with the less paying job than he had ever been making almost six figures.”

After reading that text, my eyes filled with tears and my heart felt peace.  I heard God tell me, “You are going to be fine my daughter.  Remember you made it on less last year through tithing?  Do you not remember how I blessed you? You have no idea how much I can do in and through you.  Don’t doubt.  You will be fine.”

Today, I have fellow guest blogger, Rani Chavez who will give you a little bit more insight to the time when her husband went from almost six figures to about a 1/3 of that. 

How Am I Gonna Pay by Bills?  By Rani and Luis Chavez

Making the decision to take a pay cut in your career is never an easy thing. So many concerns pop into your mind when the idea of taking a pay cut becomes an option: How am I going to pay my bills? How am I going to pay for groceries? How will I be able to provide for my family? When the concerns pile up, the anxiety and stress set in, and the fear is real. So you take a step back from the ledge, and you never make the leap of faith.

Believe it or not, Luis and I were in that position once. At one point in Luis’s career, he was a Director of Operations, making a salary on the verge of 6-figures. Between the both of us, we easily made 6-figures collectively. It was more than enough to cover our basic needs and then some. Not only did we tithe God’s 10%, but we also felt the tugging of our heartstrings to give more to His house, which we did. But with a large salary came a large amount of responsibility, particularly with his position. We learned as a family that making that insane amount of money came at a price. Luis literally worked 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. If he was not in the office, he was constantly getting calls and needing to make calls. Our date nights, meals, and simply just time together were riddled with the relentless ringing of his phone. Luis worked so much that just to be able to spend time together, I would often go to work with him and help out in any way I could.

Over time, Luis grew overworked and stressed beyond belief, and found himself at odds with his management team due to decisions they were making that did not line up with Luis’s moral compass. For any person in this position, the obvious answer is to get out. It was a difficult decision for us as a family to make, and those concerns flooded our minds over and over. But for the sake of sanity and happiness, we took the plunge. Luis resigned and accepted a position with a different company which had a significantly large pay cut. His new salary was about a third of what he was previously making, which made me the breadwinner – my salary was actually more than his.

Now, living in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S. (Denver), it’s difficult to believe our new collective salary was enough. As a family, we were making probably about HALF of what we previously were making before Luis’s pay cut. Realistically, we could not have afforded to tithe, make rent, buy groceries, pay bills, and still have money left over. But when you remain faithful to God and His commands, you begin to see the supernatural happen.

Since the beginning of our relationship, Luis and I have always remained faithful in giving back to God what is His. Why? Because He says that if you honor Him with the first part of your income, He will bless you financially (Proverbs 3:9-10). This is His promise. For some, when money is tight, they believe they can't afford to tithe. And we will be completely honest and transparent – we fell back on our tithe for a time or two because of how tight money was for us. But the moment we fell back, we felt the enemy closing in, and we were blocking God from fulfilling His promise to us. This was probably the moment in which we began to believe that we can’t afford NOT to tithe. Staying faithful and obedient to His command of tithing allows for the blessing(s) to be released. This remained true for us – even though we were making significantly less, we made sure we were still obedient to give God what was His, and continued to believe in His provision and protection. In return, He saw is through what most would see as a difficult financial period. To this day, Luis and I don’t even know how we were able to cover all our bills and still had money left over, but the Lord provided when we thought we would never be able to. 

Mark 12:41-44 New Life Version (NLV)

The Woman Whose Husband Had Died Gave All She Had

⁴¹ Jesus sat near the money box in the house of God. He watched the people putting in money. Many of them were rich and gave much money. ⁴² A poor woman whose husband had died came by and gave two very small pieces of money.
⁴³ Jesus called His followers to Him. He said, “For sure, I tell you, this poor woman whose husband has died has given more money than all the others. ⁴⁴ They all gave of that which was more than they needed for their own living. She is poor and yet she gave all she had, even what she needed for her own living.”

 

 

Gentlewoman, Angela Borjas

If you look at all my featured Gentlewoman, you will notice they all have a before and after story.  We like to call it our testimony.  That is who we were and this is who we are now.  Sharing these stories help us spread God’s love and grace and truly show how merciful He is.  He can change lives.  He has done it for us and he can do it for you.

Today, I’d like to share Angela’s story with you.  Most recently Angela experienced another death in her family which could have become a downward spiral of questioning God.  Angela was able to persevere through the comfort of God and the compassion of friends and family.  When bad things happen, those that love you are supposed to wrap their arms around you, however, some of us have experienced the lack of help or support during times of need and it’s pretty lonely.  It can make you second guess who your friends are and you wonder if they even care.  When you are involved in a church and you have a community of believers around you, they not only help you, but they carry the pain right along with you.  I’ve seen in in my life and the lives of others. 

Today you may be experiencing the lack of friends, family or even God.  I’d like to encourage you that by seeking God he can open the doors of new friendships, repair fallen relationships and light a path of everlasting love.  If you want to see how that happens, just check Angela’s story below.

 

 

For those people who don’t know you, can you share a little bit about yourself?

My name is Angela Borjas; I was born in Dallas and raised in Oak Cliff. The only other place I have lived is in McKinney but found my way back. I can’t picture myself living anywhere else, this is home! My husband Manuel and I have been together for 15 years. We are complete opposites but the good Lord made us work for each other. We have two daughters; our oldest Avina is 13 and our youngest Macaria is 10. We are a “fight” family, Manuel insist our girls learn to defend themselves. He and Macaria train in jiu-jitsu, Avina and I have taken a few kickboxing classes. The company I work for manufactures custom carpets and interior panels for private jets. I’m in the Design/Sales Dept. and have been with the company for 9 years.  I’d like to say I’m pretty compassionate when it comes to others. People fascinate me, I often find myself trying to relate to them. I am a foodie! I love going out to eat, trying different foods, and learning about other cultures. In my spare time I go to Zumba, catch up on Game of Thrones, and watch UFC. 

 

You and I both call Fellowship church our home.  It is where our life changed.  Can you share your “before” story with my readers followed by your “after” story?

Manuel and I moved in together in 2000, we were young and living the fast life. We weren’t married or attending church regularly. In 2008, we started attending St. Cecilia Catholic Church. It was the church I went to as a child. After taking their marriage classes, we got married on May 30, 2009. It was then that our spiritual journey began.  

Manuel started studying the bible and wanted to attend a bible study. At the time, St. Cecilia only had one in Spanish (which he doesn't speak much). After being invited to Church of Christ at Mountain View; he started attending weekly. I wasn’t ready to make the change so we went to church separately. It made me sad that my family didn’t attend church as a whole. So I began to pray for a church for family to attend together. God began to answer by putting Ephesians 5:22-24 on my mind;  

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything." 

 

I knew I needed to listen to His instruction and allow my husband lead me. I went to church with Manuel a few times but felt out of place. Before Easter in 2010, my sister in law invited us to Covenant Church in McKinney. For almost 2 years, we drove from Oak Cliff to McKinney every Sunday for church. 

In January 2012, Manuel and I were bickering about being late to church. He got on 75 but turned around because we weren’t going to make it on time. He exited on Ross and there was Fellowship Church. There was a big sign saying “Start your new year off right, service times at 10 am and 11:30 am”. It was 11:15 and I told Manuel “Pull into that parking lot, we are not missing church”. God answered my prayers that day! As soon as we entered, everyone made us feel welcomed. The message hit home.  It was a message we needed to hear. We knew then we had found our church and we have been at Fellowship ever since. 

 

I started attending Flavour Sisterhood and serving in the Worship Center right away. My girls had fun in FC Kids each week and could hardly wait for the next. Avina began to grow in her faith through FC Kids and got baptized first. Then on September 26, 2012, during a Flavour event, I got baptized! Manuel was baptized after attending Men of the House on November 20, 2013. Soon after, Macaria got baptized with FC kids on December 23, 2013.  Through serving and doing His work, I have made many new friends. These are amazing people I can count on and share with; they’re family.

 

You recently lost your cousin due to a drive by shooting just a week ago.  I know that this has been a difficult time for you; however, I believe and I know through my own experience as a Christ follower that when hardships occur, yes they still hurt, however God wraps us in comfort, pours out his peace and walks with us as we endure the pain.  Being a Christ follower we can persevere through hardships because we do not lean on our own understanding, but instead stand firm in faith that God’s word will always prevail, even when we can’t see it or understand it.  It’s as if we have this superhuman power to conquer even when we are at our weakest.   Have you felt the ease of his yoke during this unfortunate situation?

Unfortunately, my family is no stranger to death, we’ve experienced several tragedies. The hardest to deal with have been the passing of younger family members. In 2004, our 25 yr old nephew Mark, his aunt and two friends were murdered during a home invasion in McKinney. It changed our family and community forever! Mark was Manuel's best friend, loosing him made brought on depression. I was pregnant with Macaria and Avina was 3. The next two years were the hardest ugliest years of our relationship. Because we weren't close to God, I felt alone and it led to our separation. (God put us back together after a year apart).  

My cousin Angelita died in a car accident in 2010; she was 23. I had just had a surgery and was really sick at the time. It hit me really hard, she was Macaria's babysitter and I was used to seeing her everyday. It was difficult explaining to my girls that she was gone. I hadn't lost someone so close to me until then. 

This past October my 16 yr old nephew Jesse passed away. He was a sick kid; battling liver failure, two blood disorders and cystic fibrosis. My parents and I cared for him from the age of 8 to 14. When he passed, it felt like the battle had been lost. It hurt badly, because we saw him fight a good fight. God used my church family’s support to teach me that we didn’t loose, we won the battle. We did everything we possibly could for Jesse’s health. He lived longer than expected and was no longer in pain suffering. Jesse lived a positive life always encouraging others. He was a believer and was not afraid to speak about his faith to other teens.

Over a week ago, my cousin Joshua lost his life to a drive by shooting. He was an innocent bystander at a graduation party when it happened. The morning I found out he had been shot I went straight to the hospital, but he died before I arrived. While I was in the waiting room, I saw a familiar face, it was Priscilla Gonzalez. I met her at Flavour and heard her talk about losing her son Fabian in a car accident 2 years ago. She came to the hospital looking for Joshua’s family. I didn’t know how Priscilla knew Josh. It turns out Joshua and Fabian were best friends in junior high.  Joshua had been a pallbearer at Fabian’s funeral. This coincidence was all God’s work! I didn’t have the words to comfort my uncle (Joshua’s dad) but Priscilla did. She knows the pain of losing a child and was able to sympathize with my uncle. Having her there gave us some strength that day. 

 

The following day, I was at work sitting at my desk feeling drained and unfocused when a bouquet of flowers arrived.  I wondered who they were from, because most people don’t know where I work. When I opened the card and read it, they turned out to be from you and Chris.  The scripture you sent me Romans 8:28 was the peace I needed in that moment. Tears of joy started to flow! It was another confirmation, from the Lord that He put the right “they” around me. Jesse Valdez (friend from Fellowship) gave a beautiful message at Josh's viewing. It was about turning tragedy into triumph. Joshua's victory was showing others love. He was a happy person; he loved with all his heart. His memory will remind us to smile, have fun, and laugh more. 

Many other friends have offered their kind words and prayers; it is what has gotten me through.  I know that God is speaking to me through them; everything works according to His plan. Death has taught me that God has an eternal purpose that cannot be prevented. Although death is saddening, I now understand Earth is not our permanent home. John 14:13 says

"Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In my Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also." 

His word assures us that this separation is not permanent for believers in Christ. Death is a going-home experience! One day we will be reunited of believing loved ones in heaven, never to be separated again. Through each of these losses, I have learned to be true to myself and share my feelings. To get to know the people I care about and to make time for them. 

 

I always tell people I wish I would have had a program like “The Mix” which is Fellowship’s youth ministry.  I think if I would have had been involved in something like the Mix, my life would had started thriving at an earlier age.  How has attending FC and The Mix been essential in helping raise your daughters?

The Mix is an amazing program! My girls love attending and inviting friends. The messages are given in away that teens can comprehend. It makes me happy when they come home and can tell me what the message was about. I love how involved they are and how focused they are on Godly things. Avina helps serve in FC kids and in youth choir. Macaria will be a 6th grader next year, so she just started attending The Mix. She has already invited some friends and is ready to help serve in FC kids. It's a blessing knowing my girls always want to be at church. 

Having a support system with my sisters in Christ has been so influential to my life.  I don’t know what I would do without them.  What does it mean for you to have a variety of women who share the same passion for Christ as you do?

When Manuel and I started our walk, we prayed for God to remove from our lives the people, places and things that kept us from getting close to Him. We were surprised and sad when we lost some friends that we thought were close. But the more we sought Him the more positive influences he added. I am completely grateful for the women that are in my life now. Seeing their passion for our Father is inspirational. These ladies hold me accountable, encourage me, support me, and pray for me. These are real friends! I feel God’s love through them. 

 

What is your favorite verse?  What does this verse mean to you?

“The Lord strengthens me and protects me, I trust in Him with all my heart. I am rescued and my heart is full of joy; I will sing to him in gratitude” Psalm 28:7

 This verse means so much; it calls me to seek Him first. When I am frail, He will build me up. When I have a fear or worry, stand guard and rescue me. 

 

What are your dreams?

My dream is to travel the world with Manuel and spread God’s word and love. I want to see the beauty God has created in nature. I want to fall in love with God and Manuel over and over again in foreign places.  I also hope to be able to give back to the students in my community. Like so many others teachers and mentors did for me growing up. 

Who inspires you and why?

My grandparents are my heroes. They worked picking produce in the fields of many cities. Eventually they became business owners which planted our family in Dallas. I’m proud they paved the way so that I and future generations of my family could have a better life. Their stories tell me if I put my mind to something and work hard enough for it, I can accomplish it!   

 

 

My parents are also a big influence. They gave my siblings and I a better upbringing than they had. Anything we had to do for school or wanted to do outside of it, they supported.

 

 

What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

You are beautiful! Society wants us to believe we have to look a certain way to be beautiful. Instead of judging one another, we should be celebrating each other. 

Growing up I had a high metabolism and was extremely thin. I was bullied all through school for being too skinny. I wasn't happy with my appearance and I and didn't think I was pretty. Although I tried not to show it, I had low self-esteem. Finally, I grew tired of the remarks and was able to ignore them. I told myself anyone trying to discourage me was doing so because they weren't happy with themselves. My maiden name is Delgado (which means thin in Spanish); everyone in my family is thin. I began to accept my appearance because that is what my family is! I was an adult the first time I looked in the mirror and thought I was decent looking. Little by little I grew the confidence I know have. 

As women we need to be comfortable in our own skin. We don't have to look like someone else to be beautiful because we already are!  He created you uniquely to stand apart. We should embrace our individual beauty, inside and out. We should be leaders not followers!  We should not seek worldly things. Instead we should lead others to God and follow Christ!  

 

What are you most proud of?

Giving my life to God! Before I gave my life to Him, I made many bad decisions and put myself in dangerous situations. Even though I was far away from the Lord, he pulled me through for His greater plan.  If he could bring me through my worst, I know He can bring me through anything. With Him I have nothing to fear!  He brought Manuel and I through separation, depression, addiction, anxiety and so much more. With Him we have a life better than we could have ever prayed for. He made us better parents and gave us a better marriage. We are not were we want to be yet, but we are not were we used to be.  

 

I'm proud of the path my family is on. I'm overjoyed with the man of God that Manuel has become. Again, I have fallen head over heels for him. It makes my heart skip a beat when I see him talk to our girls about the bible. I love how they can hold conversations about the God. It's incredible!

 

I am also thrilled with the power of "the invite". Fellowship Church is big on inviting. After God started changing our hearts, my family started inviting others to church. We now get a front row seat to see the life change in others. It's all for God's glory! I can testify that with Him, anything is possible! 

So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious image. – 2 Corinthians 3:18

 

Gentlewoman, Rani Chavez

The church I attend has opened so many doors to meeting so many different people from all walks of life.  Rani and her husband Luis seemed to be a magnetic friendship for my husband and me.  It was as if God strategically placed this couple in our lives to be our BFFs.  I honestly can say that about a lot of the couples that we have met and the friends we have in our lives, but Rani and Luis have been extra special to us. 

Chris and Luis (our husbands) started their bond right away, but for Rani and me it wasn’t so instantaneous.  I remember Luis telling Rani one day, “Chris and I are going to go play soccer. Why don’t you guys go do yoga or something?” Rani and I didn’t go “do yoga”, but somewhere along the way, we became super close and she’s been such a supporter for me that I feel as if we have been friends forever. 

Rani is a sweet, fun, energetic and inspiring woman and I’m so glad to call her my friend and fellow sister in Christ.  Along with all my other sisters in Christ, Rani is one of my earth angels who lifts me in prayer.

Today I would like to share Rani’s story and hope you become inspired by her love of God, her strength and her ability to follow through on her dreams.  

 

1.     For those people who don’t know you, can you share a little bit about yourself?

 

My name is Rani (pronounced Ronnie) Chavez, wife to my loving husband, Luis and momma to our furbaby, a Chihuahua named Manny. I was born in Chicago, IL, raised in Orlando, FL and since my husband and I have been together, we have trekked around the U.S. and lived in various cities including Austin, TX and Denver, CO. I currently work full-time at the Art Institute of Dallas, and also attend as a student, majoring in Advertising Design.

 

2.     You and your husband of two years recently purchased your first home this year.  Congratulations! Can you share your house search/purchasing story with my readers?

 

Before moving to Dallas, Luis and I honestly did not think buying a house would have been a viable option given how much we had moved around in recent years due to his job. A few years ago, we started praying about our “Promised Land,” that God was to bless us with set down roots, raise a family, etc. We had a few cities in play that had given us the option of creating a home for our family, including our hometown. Would you believe that we ended up moving to a city in which we had no friends or family? Because that is what Dallas was for us! But Luis had shared with me once that Dallas had been a city placed into his heart some time ago, and when he felt the nudge to make the decision to move here through our prayers of our Promised Land, we knew it had to be God.

 

I believe that when everything falls perfectly into place, even in moments when you have your doubts, that it is God making moves for you. Our move to Dallas happened in this way when we were offered job positions prior to moving, and it also happened in our house hunt as well. The housing market right now is incredibly hot, and we discovered in our search that houses, especially the ones we chose, would only be on the market for 24 hours before it went under contract! We found ourselves in that situation a number of times, and even found ourselves in a bidding war on one home. But we continued to pray and believe that Dallas was still our Promised Land that God would come through.

 

And He did. In our search, we had visited an area of new construction of townhomes, and upon our first visit, while we loved the homes, we hesitated because of distance from our jobs. Following that visit, we continued to see disappointment after disappointment, so we decided to come back, review our options, and make an offer. The day we arrived to do this, Dot, the sales representative for the builder, told us that before we decided anything, she had two properties that had already been completed, but the previous contracts fell through, so they were now available. Not only were they now available, but they were also priced significantly lower than their standard sale price with the upgrades because the upgrades had already been included, and the builder recognized that the longer they sat empty and completed, the more money he would have to pay on it. So we decided to go for it!

 

As a first time homebuyer, I cannot even express to you the stress and anxiety I felt throughout the whole process of getting approved for a mortgage. But I saw God’s hand in this entire process. We had gotten a call from our realtor one night after we had signed the contract on the home and started the approval process. She had news that the bank appraisal had come back, and it had come back at LESS than the purchase price. This was an immediate worry because we knew a number of things, either good or bad, could happen including the builder choosing to reduce the purchase price or a cancellation of the contract all together if we can’t come to an agreement with the builder. But our realtor had more news – the builder not only agreed to sell it at the reduced appraisal price, but he also agreed to keep the previous terms of our contract, which included him paying for a portion of our closing costs! So to give you a number, we were able to purchase a completely brand new townhome for $20K less than the standard purchase price that they are now selling for. THAT, my friends, is ALL GOD!

 

 

3.     You and your husband recently celebrated your wedding anniversary this month.  Congrats! Most people don’t know that this is your second marriage.  Having experienced a marriage that didn’t survive, what advice would you share with other women who are in a relationship that (in their eyes) has no hope for recovery or for a woman who is either contemplating divorce/separation?

 

Ah, going for the big guns with this question! :)

 

I think it’s important to know a little bit of my back story to my first marriage before I give my advice. For privacy, I won’t use his name, but S and I got married fairly young. We had dated exclusively for about a year or so before he decided to go into the Air Force. We eloped shortly after he completed boot camp, and spent the first year of marriage apart with his first tour being overseas in South Korea. S and I were married for about 5 years before we divorced. There were a number of factors that affected our marriage in those 5 years including the military and chosen career paths. The last two years of our marriage were the rockiest. We had separated, but had made attempts to reconcile. I experienced many ups and downs and gray areas during this time with S. I won’t go into too much detail, but at the end of the day, and in hindsight, S and I had grown up and grown into two different people whose personal and professional goals just didn’t overlap or mesh well together. The decision to divorce was mutual between us. At that time, I can tell you that my decision was based on taking care of me and my happiness, knowing what I was worth, and feeling I had spent too much time waiting for him to turn around and decide to work at our marriage WITH me because I felt like it had been 110% me working, and 0% him working.

 

What I find is also very important to know is that when we decided to get divorced, I was not saved. I was far from God, and did not know Jesus. It was only after we began the process that I found Jesus and gotten saved. If I had gotten saved prior to making the decision, perhaps how I handled our marriage might have been different. I might have prayed about our situation or been more patient. But I do strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and that it is all a part of God’s amazing plan. God knows what He’s doing, and for me to find Him after the fact has His perfect timing all over it because I would not be who I am or be where I am today.

I recognize that an experience such as this, being part of a difficult relationship, is different for everyone. So many factors that affect the situation can come into play, and they can differ for the next person such as children or ownership of homes. Having gone through what I’ve gone through in addition to knowing what I know now, my advice would be to lean on and trust God. Pray about your situation. Pray for His guidance. Pray that He would speak to you and your heart. Find wisdom in His Word. Find support in friends who align themselves with God and His commands. One of the hardest things one can go through in this situation is feeling alone. But know you are NOT alone. As His beautiful daughter, He wants what is best for you, and He will ALWAYS be there for you. Seek Him, and you will find your answers.

 

 

4.     In your experience, what makes a marriage thrive? How is this marriage different from your first?

 

One of the first things I ever learned when I got saved and when I reconnected with Luis, who was one of the main people who brought me to Christ, was that our relationship was never just going to be Rani and Luis – it was always going to be a relationship between Rani, Luis and God. God has been the main difference in my second marriage in comparison to my first. He has brought us through our most happy and most difficult times, and it is He who has helped our marriage thrive.

 

I had read a quote awhile back by Ruth Bell Graham that said “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” I believe this applies to my marriage. With the Lord being at the center of our marriage, we always strive to be a forgiving wife and husband towards each other because we want to forgive as God as forgiven us. His forgiveness has become our standard. We are not a perfect couple; we fight and disagree as much as the next, but we recognize forgiveness and do so. We also don’t hold on to the anger; we let it go, and move forward. In addition to forgiveness, understanding, communication, and of course love, is key for us.

 

I wish I could say that how I felt for Luis when the sparks first flew is how I still feel now, but I can confidently say it’s not… because I love him much, much, much more now. :)

 

 

5.     What is your favorite verse?  What does this verse mean to you?

 

So hard to pick just one when I have many! I’ll have to go with Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

 

As women, we often find ourselves to be our own worst critic. I’m too short. I’m too tall. I’m too fat. I wish I was as smart as so-and-so. Why don’t I have a creative bone in my body like so-and-so? But honestly - how can the portrait be angry with the artist? How can the clay be angry with the potter? I could not have been created, BUT GOD chose to make me. I have been created with purpose, intent, worth, and love. I have been uniquely crafted by the finest creator – I am exactly who God wanted me to be. And you are too.

 

 

6.     What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

 

To keep moving forward, and if you ever come to a crossroads, pray about it.

 

7.     What are your dreams?

 

I have a few! I dream of the day where I can be my own boss and have my own business. I also dream of expanding our family one day to include not just our own children, but to also be able to give a child (or children) who has no family, a home and family of their own. I also hope to be an inspiration through my faith, work and actions.

 

 

8.       Who inspires you and why?

 

My parents are definitely one of my biggest inspirations. They immigrated to the United States from the Philippines in 1979/1980. They wanted a better life for themselves and their family; to chase the American dream. They have made so many sacrifices in moving to America - they left what they knew to be familiar and close; they missed watching their brothers and sisters grow up with their families; my mom missed the death of her mother and her funeral. But they did it all to make sure my brother and I had the opportunity to live a better life than they had. It is something I will forever be grateful for.

 

 

 

My husband also inspires me. I had mentioned earlier that Luis was one of the people that had a big part bringing me to Christ. When we first started dating, I remember one of our first conversations we had about God. I remember listening to him speak about God, and the passion and love I heard in his voice about Him was enough to make me break down and cry (and I did). He had come a long way in his journey as a Christian by the time he and I had begun dating, so I was always both inspired and intimidated by his knowledge and desire for God and His Word. Luis is one of the most God-fearing, selfless, loving, and hardest working people I know, and I am not just saying that because he’s my husband. :)

 

 

My FC family is also an inspiration. Before settling in Dallas, Luis and I had moved around quite a bit, so we never really had a chance to really make friends or find consistency in a church. When we started attending Fellowship Church, we made friends more quickly than in previous cities we lived in. For me, having not been truly part of a church family before, to have these people, these women, in my life has been truly life-changing. I have never been surrounded by as many women that love God as much as I do until now. I am constantly amazed at their strength and support for each other. Our FC family has welcomed us into their lives and have become the family we need in a city where we have none.

9.       What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

 

You are stronger, more amazing, and more talented than you give yourself credit for. You are beautiful. You are enough. You have purpose. You are worthy. Wrap your mind around how the God of the universe took the time to create you to be intended for something great. There has never been, and there will never be another you!

 

10.   What are you most proud of?

 

I’m most proud of how far I’ve come in my walk with Christ. Most days, I still feel like a baby Christian – I feel like there’s still so much more to learn and so much more wisdom to gain. But that saying, “I’m not where I want to be, but thank God I’m not where I used to be,” – YES. I am eternally grateful for how far my Father in Heaven has carried me thus far, and I know He will continue to hold me up in my journey. I am also most proud of myself for going back to school to earn my degree. Every day, I see students at my college withdraw or drop a class because “it’s too hard” or “I need to work, so I can’t take classes,” and I could easily be one of those students, too. To be a full-time employee and a student is not an easy task, and I come home exhausted every single day of the week wanting to give up, but I don’t. I’m keeping my eye on the prize, and I keep moving forward.

 

Thank God for my old stompin' ground. I wouldn't be standin' right here, right now, If it wasn't for Texas. – George Strait “Texas”