Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

In a world that has become so focused on the outward appearance, it is so hard to maintain or live up the new standard of beauty. There’s a lotion to battle winkles, a workout to cure the flabby tummy, a lipstick that will plump your lips, and under garments to tuck in that extra pound or two.  We buy everything that is advertised in hopes to look younger, prettier or skinnier yet, we don’t focus on the true beauty that lasts forever which is in our heart.

At the beginning of the year I turned 31 years young and I had told myself this was the year I was going to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  What is a Proverbs 31 woman you ask?  Honey, she is errrrythang!  How we vision Beyonce is nothing in comparison to what a Proverbs 31 woman is – it’s on a holy nutha level.  A Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of great faith. She is a virtuous woman who is a great mother, wife, and servant.  She is a steward of finances and she has a great work ethic. She is full of inner beauty that only comes from Christ.  She is not perfect nor does she achieve to be.  Instead she lives a life with purpose, diligence, forgiveness and repentance. 

I don’t know about you but I’ve struggled being a girl in this world.  From a young age, I remember looking in the mirror and not liking myself.  I was too skinny, too dark and too tall.  Where I got this from who knows, but it was my reality.  It was engrained in my head that all my physical attributes were far from beautiful and instead I was filled with insecurities before I even entered puberty. 

As I got older, some insecurities fell off the map, but some stayed near and dear close enough to ruin a great day.  I allowed other people to steal my confidence, by simply believing their comments about myself.  What little confidence I had in myself was completely wiped off from an ex-boyfriend.  I constantly felt inferior to the beauty of other girls.  I was told many times that a man liked a woman with meat on her bones.  I was reminded that I had no shape or curves.  These comments were not made by men, but by females – who were supposed to be my friends.  But I grew out of that after a time of self-discovery.  As I got older, I began to accept myself more and more.  But then I had a baby and the weight piled on, the tummy turned mushy and I was on a road of trying to regain some confidence.  (Oh how we allow so much of this world to affect our minds and our thoughts.)  I was so guilty of that.  I had conformed and allowed the false representation of beauty to be present in my life.  While I may have said or thought different at the time, it was true and I was trying my hardest to live up to that standard.  When you aim for perfection, you get shot down real fast.  I kept chasing it and just found myself doing just that – chasing.

When I returned to my first love, I found that accepting yourself in every way was going to be something you could only find through Him.  Joel Osteen once said, “When you are feeling insecure or doubting yourself in any area of your life – repeat out loud, I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” How that verse (Psalm 139:14) got me through my most insecure moments, I can’t even explain. The moment I felt any kind of negative thought about myself, I would repeat that out and I would instantaneously feel better.

The desires to conform to the world have slowly been swept away from me.  However, I must admit, I am still human and I can still feel insecure, not just physically, but in all areas of my life – as a wife, parent, employee, friend, etc.   But God helps.  He says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” - Jeremiah 33:3 

If you are feeling down whether it is with your weight, looks, confidence as a parent or wife, be renewed by knowing that we are His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).  Hold on to the hope of knowing that we are made in his image (Genesis 1:27) and that God doesn’t look at the outward as the world does, but instead, He looks at the heart.  (1 Samuel 16:7)

God can help you with your confidence.  Reach out and talk to him.  He will comfort you. (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. – Proverbs 31:30

Los Caminos de la Vida/ The Paths of Life

The paths of life are not what I use to imagine.  The paths of life, they are very hard to travel.  They are hard to walk and I can't find a way out.

I use to think that life was different when I was a little boy.  I use to think things were easy.  But I see my mother tired of the work she does for me and my brother.  And now I want to help her.  I want to fight for her until the end. I will fight for her until the day I die. 

This is my father's song.  Every time I hear it, I can't help but think of him.  When this song comes on, my father tends to get emotional.  The lyrics hit home and the memories of the struggles  he experienced pours out of his eyes through tears. 

As a young child, I never experienced or saw the struggles that my father endured to get to where he is.  Dad was just dad - my superhero.  My childhood is filled with great memories of birthday parties, visits to the park, trips to get ice cream and lots of hugs and kisses.  Little did I know that my father never experienced any of that growing up.  He was born in San Luis Potosi, Mexico with not much of anything.  He began working at a very young age to help out his family and did not have the opportunity to get much schooling completed.  You can say all odds were stacked up against him for any attempt of success.  Yet, my father was born with this determination to persevere.  It's in his blood - a gift from God.

He was determined to chase after the dream of going to work in the United States in order to make enough money to send to his mother.  He was just a young teenager when he traveled to California.  One of the stories I always remember was when he went shopping for the first time.  He wasn't aware of different sizes, he just bought whatever was available.  He ended up coming home with his clothing that fit him way to big.  Some people might be baffled by that, but my dad didn't know about sizes or much about clothes in general.  In Mexico, he wore a cloth around his torso to cover himself.  It resembled a skirt - it was all he had. 

He returned to Mexico, but later made his way back to the United States.  This time he went to Texas and found a job in Dallas as a dishwasher.  All he did was work.  When payday came, money was sent to his mother immediately.  He worked essentially for her.  Mothers are cherished in the Mexican culture and my father kept that strong as he constantly worked harder each day to have the privilege to share his earnings with her. 

My father later met and married my mother.  She helped him learn English, taught him how to drive and they both helped each other grow in many areas of their lives.  My parents began attending a church when I was very young.  I thank God for the foundation they provided for my sister and I.  Proverbs 22:6 "Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it." God was always front and center of our lives.  Even though I had strayed in my early twenties, God had a beautiful way of bringing us all back to our first love.

I am very proud of my father.  If it wasn't for him and his determination and courage for a better life, I don't even know how my life would have turned out. He literally did it Drake style "started from the bottom". 

It really amazes me when I think about.  To know that a man that came from literally nothing, turned his life into a success story.  That makes me happy to the point of tears.  It is because he chased after his American Dream, I am now able to live mine.  I don't ever want to take that for granted. It is people like him, who we see everyday, but we overlook either because their job isn't "important" or of high level, that should be applauded for their determination and hard work ethic to light a pathway for future generations.

Aside from his hard work ethic, my dad has such a loving heart.  A heart full of generosity that can at times be taken for granted, but ultimately the good Lord sees his heart and always blesses him tenfold of what is not paid back to him. He sacrifices so much to provide a better life for his family.  He started a business with no schooling, managed to pay off his house and cars with his ability to save and take care of his money. I could go on and on about my father.  There is no end to his strength and his wisdom. 

I didn't want to go through life without my father knowing how much I love him, admire him and thank him for what he has done through his life for me and for others.  He works Monday through Saturday and still manages to be one of the first volunteers at church on Sundays.  He makes me proud.  So proud. 

Dad, thank you for everything.  I mean it from the bottom of my heart.  All the hard work, all the times you did without just so you could help me or others, I cherish that.  I am so proud of you for not being scared or intimated of this giant world.  You have been an exceptional father - a man I am proud of.  Thank you for providing me with a great childhood.  I know you never got hugs or kisses from your parents, much less an "I love you", yet you poured that into my life.  You took the road less traveled and that has made all the difference in my life and the lives of my children and so on.  I pray God continues to protect and guard you all the days of your life.  I want you to know that I love you so very much and I plan to make it my life mission to be a reflection of you. 

Happy Birthday!

Love always,
Vickie

Kill em' with kindness

First let me start off that I am a huge Selena Gomez fan.  I’ve followed her since her show on Disney “Wizards of Waverly Place”.  It might be sad to say I was already in my twenties when I started watching, but I would DVR the show and watch it with my daughter (even though she was too little to pay attention).  I have followed Selena through her career and have enjoyed seeing her stay classy – a road less traveled these days. She has this elegance to her that just exudes positivity and innocence.

I was ecstatic to know she had a new album coming out and loved the message she wanted to embody through her lyrics.  The new album just came out on Friday, October 9^th and listening to it reminded me of the days when you anticipated the release day of an album, went to the store, brought it home, popped the CD in the stereo and spent hours just reading the lyrics.  I haven’t felt that way about a particular album in a while and perhaps it is the teenage girl in me that wants to relive that time. 

Two of my favorite songs on the album are Revival – a song with a catchy beat but filled with strength and motivation.  The second song is Kill Em with Kindness.  I. Love. This. Song.

“Every day a small piece of you dies, always somebody you’re willing to fight, to be right. “ – Kill Em with Kindness, Selena Gomez

Think about it.  How many times have we fought a battle to prove ourselves right, failed miserably and then felt like crud?

I’ll be the first to raise my hand. 

I get encouraged when I read versus such as John 13:35-35 and Peter 4:8 that instruct us on how God wants us to love one another and bear with one another.  Yet, the moment someone is rude or unpleasant, you know that not so pleasant side of us wants to come out.  It’s hard.  I get it.  It’s hard to be nice to someone when they’ve wronged you.  It’s difficult to be nice when people constantly mistake your kindness for weakness.  We build a wall around us that makes us unapproachable, negative and just as nasty as the people we dislike. 

We need to remember that when we give in and reproduce the negative actions back out into the world – we don’t win the fight, in fact the person we least like, the devil, wins.  He loves it when we’re mean.  He has a sneaky way of wheedling into our lives and using our actions/words to spread his darkness in this world without us even realizing it.

No war in anger has ever been won, so choose love.  Choose to be friendly.  Choose to spread light into this dark world.  Choose to take the road less traveled. 

Today, I leave you with this amazing verse that I have put front and center of me this week.  I challenge you to mediate on this verse and ask God to intervene with his love through you over the next week.   He has a wonderful way of sending you reminders just when you need them.

Ephesians 4:2 “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”

“Put out the fire before igniting next time you’re fighting and kill em’ with kindness….”

Gentlewoman, Misti Irvin

There is this amazing song that my church plays at church called “You Are God”.  It is quite the song. Every time it comes on, it moves me to tears and I can’t help but get immersed in the lyrics because it does a great job of describing how big of a God we have. As I am typing these words, the lyrics are playing and I can’t help but find it fitting for my next Gentlewoman’s story.

Life can be beautiful, but it can also be quite tragic.  When tough times come, we have two options. (1) try and deal with it yourself and fail miserably or (2) call out to Him, and place the battle in his hands.  God has this wonderful way of working all things for good.  How?  Good question.  God is God and He can do immeasurably more than we can ever fathom or imagine.  He pours this peace into our lives that takes the burden of the situation and He powers us up with His strength to sustain us through any difficulty. And then he uses what was meant for our harm for greater good.  Lessons on lessons resulting in blessings on blessings on blessings. 

I am excited to introduce you to gentlewoman, Misti Irvin.  She is a beautiful soul that carries a light around her everywhere she goes.  I’m so glad to know her and I’m so happy I get to share her with you today.

 

For those people who don’t know you, can you share a little bit about yourself?

I am a 40 year old mother of two. I have been married for seven years to my amazing husband Jason. We have two girls, ages three and five. I love the outdoors and nature and I have a passion for animals. (Once, I almost went to Africa to volunteer with a baboon sanctuary, but then found out I was pregnant with my first child, so that halted that dream…for now at least!) I have been attending Fellowship Church for 15 years and serving at the downtown location for two years. I adore my friends and keep my friendships very close to my heart. And I hate black olives :0)

 

This is a special month because October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  This hits home for you because you are a survivor.  If you wouldn’t mind, can you share your story with my readers about that day your found out you were diagnosed with breast cancer?

Sure! In February of 2013, my mother in law called us to tell us that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I thought to myself, “Man, it’s been awhile since I have done a self breast exam.” The next day in the shower I did one and felt something strange. It wasn’t like what they tell you it will feel like (it wasn’t like rice or marbles or a peas…it was more like my pinkie finger was sitting in my breast). I didn’t think much of it because I don’t have any family history of breast cancer. I called my OB/GYN the next day and they got me in immediately. Even then, my physician at the time was very reassuring (I was a 37 year old woman who had just finished breast feeding my second child just 4 months before), telling me it didn’t’ feel like cancer but he was sending me for a mammogram and ultrasound to be sure. I went to get my mammogram the next day and it came back clear-no cancer! So then I was off for my ultrasound…where they found two masses. At this point they couldn’t tell if they were cancerous, only that they were solid masses. Again, I wasn’t really worried. I do happen to have a family history of fibro adenomas (benign masses) and thought surely that is what this was. Two days later I went in for my core needle biopsy and that day, as I lay there getting my biopsy done, tears were running down my face. The physician asked me if she was hurting me, I replied no, that I was just scared…scared of cancer. That is when the physician, who was around my age, looked at me and told me “I’m worried for you too.” I knew then, that there was no way this doctor was going to tell me that if she wasn’t 110% sure that what she had just extracted from my breast was cancer. I literally couldn’t stand up afterward. I just crumpled to the floor in the room after they left. I walked out into the waiting room where my husband was waiting and then grabbed his hand and walked out the door, turned the corner and slid down the wall…complete disbelief and fear.

Going through any kind of illness, I am sure it can either break or build one’s faith.  How do you feel your faith played a part in your journey of recovery?

My faith was my saving grace – literally! All I can say about that time, and even now, is that it was a God thing. I never once questioned “why me” or got angry with God. I was scared and unsure, but never with Him. If anything, I feel thankful to Him for making me do that BSE when I did that led to me finding my cancer early enough that I could treat the cancer. I honestly feel grateful to Him. I firmly believe that it was His design for my dear mother in law to be diagnosed before me so that I could find mine. I tell her all the time she’s one of my angels.

I had so few choices, but my attitude and my faith was all I had. I choose to trust Him and His path for me and my family. I still deal with fear, but I am also learning to ask for prayers from others when I need them and also to ALWAYS reach out to Him.

 

 

I remember this one day – it was right around this time last year, in fact it was on your birthday.  Your husband was leading prayer for the volunteers in the worship center before service started and he said this beautiful prayer for you.  I didn’t know you or him very well at the time, but his prayer moved me to tears.  The words just flowed and flowed and I had honestly never heard a more beautiful prayer about one’s spouse before.  At the time, I also didn’t know that you had been diagnosed with breast cancer and I knew nothing of what you, your family or your marriage had endured.  That prayer will live with me forever because it was that special and moving.  To think back now on everything you and your husband experienced during your battle, what is one (or more) thing(s) that you would like to share with my readers on the beauty of light in the darkness?

2Cor 12:9 says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” This was one verse that got both my husband and I though this very scary time. We also made the decision to start serving at church. I had been attending FC for many years, but never got plugged in. I am telling you, after I completed chemo and was back on a regular schedule, there was NOTHING that did more for me than serving. As much as I hate cancer and I wish it had never happened to me, I wouldn’t trade the blessings that have come my way for anything. I also learned that cancer didn’t just happen to me. It happened to everyone I touched; my parents, spouse, kids, friends, siblings, literally everyone. There is a guilt that comes along with that. Although I didn’t choose cancer, the fact that I was making so many people have to go through so much because of me, it was awful for a while. But I finally realized that God has a plan for me and it’s bigger than cancer. He takes away the guilt and the sadness and helped me to see only the amazing gifts I was receiving because of this terrible cancer. Today is so much better in so many ways.

I also remember a sermon where Greg Rohlinger said “If you’re going through hell, don’t stop! Keep going.” That was very poignant for me at the time and even to this day.

 

 

How has church played a part in not only your life, but in your family’s life?

Well I touched on it earlier, but it’s played such a large role. From serving and now leading the worship center team, to the friendships I’ve made through Flavour and the wonderful ways I get to see and be a part of how God is changing so many lives. It just enriches us in ways we never would have dreamed of three years ago. Also, knowing that my little girls have a faith stronghold in their lives is extremely important to me.  I want them to grow up seeing that God is good and kind and faithful and that they can do anything and fight anything as long as they put their trust in Him.

 

 

I have to say that you are by far one of the sweetest, nicest and one of the most beautiful souls that I’ve ever met.  You always carry this peace with you and your light shines bright.  How has your relationship with God helped you through the dark times and the bright times?

Oh my gosh, that is such a high compliment coming from you. I would say the same thing about you! But to be honest, again, for me, that’s a God thing. He has placed in my wonderful feelings that I can do all things through Him and a feeling that my story is bigger than cancer. I want to help save peoples lives, both physically and spiritually. If someone can hear my testimony and feel like there is hope where none was before, then I feel like His glory is being lived out through me. That’s really all I want. I’ve had to tell myself that if I can help one person, then all this is worth it.

 

What is your favorite bible verse?  What does this verse mean to you?

Jeremiah 1:5. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”

This spoke to me so much when I was going through cancer. It reminded me that He knew what He was doing with me. That I am special and that I am a child of God and that I deserve to have a plan too.

 

Who inspires you and why?

My dear friend Shelia Prophit. She lives in Baton Rouge and is the mother of a friend of mine. She is my other angel. She is a 13 year breast cancer survivor. When I was first diagnosed and scared out of my mind, she reached out to me and I had never even met her. She was a light in the darkness and is such an amazing woman of God. I know our paths were destined to cross and my life will never be the same having her in it. She is compassionate and prayerful. She is strong and also a very grateful woman whose love knows no end.  She reminds me when I need it (which is often!) that fear is not a thing of God, it’s got no place here. She reminds me that life can be amazing and that sometimes our answers to our prayers aren’t what were hoping for, but that they are HIS plan and that’s what faith is all about.

 

What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

That they need to simplify. It is so easy to go and do and never say no. But really, it’s just about my kids and my husband and my friends. The things I really need and want are the same. Put your phone down when your kid is performing in a school play. Aside from the video you will post on Facebook, you won’t watch it again most likely. But actually SEEING your child’s smile (not though the view of your iPhone) is what life is designed for, at least in my book.

 

What are you most proud of?

My kids. And the way this cancer diagnosis has led me to a more fulfilling life with Christ. My relationship with Him is solid and I feel so blessed. 

 

#16 McKinley - I love my mom because......

 

Pray So Hard

Sometimes God answers our prayers immediately, sometime it takes a while, other times he doesn’t answer at all – or at least in the way we were hoping for.  I use to see prayer as a last resort – horrible, I know.  Through this journey I’ve been on God has shown me that prayer should be the first thing I do.  Don’t call all your girlfriends and vent, don’t start text messaging and surely don’t try and analyze things on your own.  What a timesaver that became and a good way to let go and let God.

After watching the movie War Room I felt super convicted.  I came home and realized the journal I had used this year had ended with an entry from when I got my new job.  The following page was blank.  I read the journal which began January 2015 through July 2015 and found myself sobbing. Through reading my prayer journal, I saw how God had answered my prayers and how He got me through such a rough time.  He used the situation to help me grow and after the lesson was learned and my character was sharpened, He answered the prayer and propelled me to where He wanted me to be. The realization had kicked in and in many ways I saw how I got what I wanted and then bounced so quickly.

That day I committed myself to staying consistent in prayer, consistent in my relationship with God and dedicating the rest of the journal to prayer not just for me and my problems but for those around me. I became inspired by the movie and created my own prayer board, gratitude board and answered prayer jar. 

I got my supplies from Etsy and Michaels and quickly turned into Ms. DIY!

Having this front and center of not only my eyes, but my family’s eyes has been pretty amazing.  We all write our prayer requests and stick the notes on there.  When I go back and reflect, I take down the ones that have been answered and put them in my answered prayer jar. 

If you want to make your own prayer wall, check out the links below for supply information.

Answered Prayer Jar – As prayers are answered, drop them in the container so that you can go through them and be encouraged as you’re reminded of all that God has done through your prayer. **Collect the prayers throughout the year, and when you gather for New Year’s Eve, you will enjoy seeing all that was done that year!

Prayer Board – The ideas are endless.  You can use this to write down your favorite verses, list out your prayers either by dry erase board, chalk board or post its.  I use pins to post mine!

Gratitude Board – Another board with endless ideas.  List out verses, post pictures, items such as a receipt to that new car you’ve been praying for, a doctor’s report clearing you of illness, your first check stub at the new job you were praying for, etc.