Gentlewomen, Brenda and Maria Garcia

Today’s featured Gentlewomen, Brenda and Maria Garcia are two sisters who have experienced difficulty, tragedy and turmoil in their short lives.  Most of us have experienced obstacles in our life, but when you read Maria and Brenda’s story, you’ll realize, some people and families, for some reason (that only God knows)  are given the short end of the stick, or so it seems. 

I use to think there was such a thing as bad luck, but actually there is no such thing.  God has our lives planned out even before we were formed in our mother’s womb.  Everything in life has a purpose and a reason for why, who, what, when and where.  You may look at Maria and Brenda and think “Wow, these girls had a bad luck streak.”  But I don’t think that at all.  What I see is overcomers, strength, wisdom and inspiration.  What may have been difficult for them has now in my eyes, become a message for everyone reading this, and that message is, “You can get through whatever comes your way, with God by your side.” 

These two ladies have shown great power in sticking together, being there for each other and their families and pushing through, even when they thought they couldn’t.  I am VERY inspired and deeply touched by their story and I hope you will be too.

Warning: You may need some tissue/waterproof mascara before reading this.

Brenda Garcia

Maria Garcia

1.    For those people who don’t know you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

Maria: For those of you that don't know me, my name is Maria Garcia. I'm 30 years old and a mother of 3 lovely kids. I'm engaged to my children’s father, but I consider him my husband already.  I am very outspoken and I say things the way they are. I never try to sugar coat things. Most people think I am stuck up and uptight when they first see me but I am a very humble, down to earth person once you get to know me.

Brenda: Hello everyone. My name is Brenda Garcia, I'm 31 years old, happily married to such a wonderful man and I have 2 handsome young boys. I'm a property manager for one of the best companies I have ever worked for. On my spare time I love being with my family and I enjoy every minute of it. I would describe myself as always smiling and willing to help others.

2.    You both have beautiful children. Can you tell me more about them? Names and ages please.

Maria: As I mentioned, I have 3 kids, Adan (7yrs) he is a momma's boy and he gave me the strength to hang on and move on when I was going through my divorce from his father. He loves to build Legos, be on his iPad and he keeps to himself.  He is not much of an outdoor kid. Then there is Ava (2yrs) my miracle child. She is a fighter, very outgoing, loves attention, and she is a very friendly love able girl. She taught me to have faith in God and that He is great. Last but not least, there is our new arrival of only 2 weeks, Andrea(Andy) she is my baby, my fatty  and I am just having a blast with her.( I never got to enjoy Ava as an infant.)

Brenda: Christopher is 12 years old. "Mi Chaparro" Wow, this boy is something else (I think he's a little me) Mr. thinks he's all grown. He loves to dance, play soccer, clown around, and be the center of attention, but deep down, he is a very caring and loving young boy. Bryan, my second child, is 10 years old; he is “My Teddy Bear".  He is caring, loving, and responsible. He has his bipolar days and he keeps me busy with practices and soccer games. (He is a goal keeper). No matter how old they get, they will always be mommy's boys.

3.    Maria, you just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Congratulations. While this was a beautiful time, it must have been bittersweet for your sister Brenda, who lost her baby girl Kate earlier this year. I really admired how you were both there for one another. Can you both share your feelings on how you handled the situation?

Maria: When I first found out I was expecting Andy we (hubs and I) were super happy and excited because we had actually planned her and we just didn't think it would happen so soon.  At the same time I was sad because it had only been a month since my sister, my best friend; my other half had just lost her baby girl! I didn't know how to tell her as I felt guilty and selfish for feeling such joy in my life when I knew what she was going through.  When I finally told her (she was the first person I called), I could feel her pain through her words but I could also hear her sincere happiness for us. Brenda was there for all of my pregnancy and the day Andy was born wasn't going to be the exception.  When she walked in my room and saw the baby she broke in tears and once again I felt selfish for my joy, but I also understood her pain I cried and prayed in silence to God and my mom to give her the strength she needed. My sister walked in once again, but this time with her big smile. She didn't need to say anything; I could see how happy she was for me.

Brenda: Honestly I was very happy for my sister throughout her pregnancy, even more now to see what a beautiful healthy baby girl she has. The hardest day for me was when I was driving to the hospital to see baby Andrea for the first time. I started to have flashbacks of when I was rushed to the hospital by the paramedics, staying in the hospital for two weeks and coming out empty handed. I felt my eyes get watery; I felt a knot in my throat and a sharp pain in my heart. Since I held all my emotions in, when I walked in the room and saw baby Andy I broke down in tears and ran out the room. Once I was able to vent and cry it all out, I felt a great relief. I was now ready to see our new bundle of joy.  

4. Brenda, as mentioned, Kate went to be with the Lord much earlier than anyone would have ever anticipated. Can you share your emotions, thoughts and experience of what happened this year?

Brenda: Looking back on what happened this year, all I can say is that I do not wish it upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. I still now ask myself what happened, but only GOD knows why. I find peace knowing she is in good hands. (She is with our LORD and my MOM).

4.    Maria, your middle child, Ava has been a miracle baby. Can you give my readers a recap of the health issues Ava endured and a recap of her current health conditions? Also, as a mother, how did you find the strength to be a wonder woman mom and take care of not only Ava but your son Adan, balance being a wife and working?

Maria: Ava was born with a LIVER HEMANGETHELIOMA (a tumor on the liver) and although it is non cancerous, it was the size of a naval orange therefore causing her many health issues. Since the mass was so big for her tiny body, her heart was producing too much blood causing it to over work itself and stop working. Ava also had thyroid problems. The mass is made up of blood vessels therefore there was too much blood flow activity in her body and although some of the main vessels that were feeding the mass were coiled(clogged with spirals) others started growing causing her to over bleed herself inside so she was spitting up therefore needing blood transfusions. Doctors gave her two weeks to live since the mass was very big and most babies never make it out of surgery. Ava made it out of surgery twice. Ava ended up getting stomach ulcers because of the strong medicines she was on. She had pick lines put in and a central line for her steroids and fat nutrition. March 17, 2012 was the scariest day of my life. I got a call that Ava's weak body was being transported to the hospital via ambulance because she had caught bacterial meningitis through her central line and it had traveled to her brain. Ava was in the ICU for about a week and once again she fought it and beat it like a champ. To make a long story short Ava spent most of her 1st year of life in the hospital. Her central line is now out, her tumor is still there, but steroids have made it a little smaller.  The tumor hasn't grown in the last year and it is not causing any problems.  Ava is seen by a group of doctors yearly instead of weekly and we are only hoping it won't cause her anymore problems.  If it does she'll actually be old enough to have surgery and have it removed. During all this time I had my son to care for and who also needed all my attention.  Thanks to my husband and sisters, they were always there to take over and be with my son when I couldn't.  I practically lived in the hospital that year. I also had a full time job as a restaurant manager and I had to be there and handle other types of problems and be there with a clear head, but I had a nice and understanding boss who let me be out whenever I had to. It was a hard, rough year for us but I had lots of support from my family and my husband. I had to put my faith in God and trust that this would pass. A nurse once told me this when she saw me crying," There will be hard times before you get to all the good times and then all of this will be worth it." Oh man she was right.

6. What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

Maria: Women in our generation need to hear that we are the greatest thing ever created by God and by having faith in him we can beat all obstacles.

Brenda: I think women in our generation need to hear and know that we need to respect ourselves and have dignity. Also, never let any man put you down. Love yourself since we are God’s creation.

7. I think that the both of you are VERY strong women. Another tragic event that you both experienced in your lives was losing your mother. How did losing your mother affect you and how did you find the strength to get through such a very difficult time?

Maria: When my mom passed I was a week away from graduating high school and at that time I needed her more than ever.  All of a sudden all of my goals were over. I didn't see a point to achieve anything that my mom wasn't going to see. I was 18 years old and at the age where I was able to do whatever I wanted without someone getting on to me.  I started going out and partying and I also got myself into credit debt.  I was “living the life", or so I thought. It turned out that was my way of grieving.  I wanted my dad’s attention, but he was grieving himself so we never talked about it.  One day I was in a pretty bad car wreck with my cousin and from that day I realized I still had my dad and siblings who cared for me. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my mom, but I now know she is with me daily.  Even then, I can't help but miss her dearly just like the first day that I lost her.

Brenda: Loosing my mom was really hard and painful for me as well. I had hidden my pregnancy throughout her illness not knowing how to tell her and how she would react. I wish I could hear her one more time even at least her getting on to me. I miss her dearly. I know I was not the best daughter but my conscious clear knowing I took care of her and did they best that I could until her last day. I know she is very proud of who I am now.  It is all thanks to her.

8. Who inspires you and why?

Maria: My inspiration is my parents. They came to this country to give their kids a better life than the one they had. My dad worked hard and never asked anyone for help to raise his 6 kids while my mother raised us in a way that I will always be grateful for. We were always first in their life.

Brenda: My dad is my inspiration. He always goes out of his way. He is such a hard working and dedicated man. He has taught me to work hard for what I want and to achieve my goals and be the best that I can. Not only is he my inspiration but he is my role model. He is my cook, babysitter, bank, landscaper, and my counselor. I thank God for giving me the best dad I could ever ask for.

9. What are your dreams?

Maria: As a mom my dreams is to see my kids grow up and have a career and form a family of their own always with God in their heart. As a person my dream is to one day have my own restaurant, well more like a small cafe. I know I will do it in the near future because I have my family's support and also because I want something I can call my own. As a wife my dream is live a long life with my husband. We have been put through a test of God that I know anything we can overcome anything else as long as we are there for each other.

Brenda: My dream as a mother is to see my boys grow in life, succeed and have a family of their own. As for me, my dream is to have my house paid for, be debt free, and travel with my husband. Last but not least have health, live and have God with me at all times.

10. What are you most proud of?

Maria: I am most proud of my kids. Everything I have done or accomplished is because of them. They are my most treasured trophies!!!

Brenda: I’m proud of what I have accomplished in live: Great work position, purchasing my home at an early age and for the united and humble family I have.