Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

In a world that has become so focused on the outward appearance, it is so hard to maintain or live up the new standard of beauty. There’s a lotion to battle winkles, a workout to cure the flabby tummy, a lipstick that will plump your lips, and under garments to tuck in that extra pound or two.  We buy everything that is advertised in hopes to look younger, prettier or skinnier yet, we don’t focus on the true beauty that lasts forever which is in our heart.

At the beginning of the year I turned 31 years young and I had told myself this was the year I was going to strive to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  What is a Proverbs 31 woman you ask?  Honey, she is errrrythang!  How we vision Beyonce is nothing in comparison to what a Proverbs 31 woman is – it’s on a holy nutha level.  A Proverbs 31 woman is a woman of great faith. She is a virtuous woman who is a great mother, wife, and servant.  She is a steward of finances and she has a great work ethic. She is full of inner beauty that only comes from Christ.  She is not perfect nor does she achieve to be.  Instead she lives a life with purpose, diligence, forgiveness and repentance. 

I don’t know about you but I’ve struggled being a girl in this world.  From a young age, I remember looking in the mirror and not liking myself.  I was too skinny, too dark and too tall.  Where I got this from who knows, but it was my reality.  It was engrained in my head that all my physical attributes were far from beautiful and instead I was filled with insecurities before I even entered puberty. 

As I got older, some insecurities fell off the map, but some stayed near and dear close enough to ruin a great day.  I allowed other people to steal my confidence, by simply believing their comments about myself.  What little confidence I had in myself was completely wiped off from an ex-boyfriend.  I constantly felt inferior to the beauty of other girls.  I was told many times that a man liked a woman with meat on her bones.  I was reminded that I had no shape or curves.  These comments were not made by men, but by females – who were supposed to be my friends.  But I grew out of that after a time of self-discovery.  As I got older, I began to accept myself more and more.  But then I had a baby and the weight piled on, the tummy turned mushy and I was on a road of trying to regain some confidence.  (Oh how we allow so much of this world to affect our minds and our thoughts.)  I was so guilty of that.  I had conformed and allowed the false representation of beauty to be present in my life.  While I may have said or thought different at the time, it was true and I was trying my hardest to live up to that standard.  When you aim for perfection, you get shot down real fast.  I kept chasing it and just found myself doing just that – chasing.

When I returned to my first love, I found that accepting yourself in every way was going to be something you could only find through Him.  Joel Osteen once said, “When you are feeling insecure or doubting yourself in any area of your life – repeat out loud, I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” How that verse (Psalm 139:14) got me through my most insecure moments, I can’t even explain. The moment I felt any kind of negative thought about myself, I would repeat that out and I would instantaneously feel better.

The desires to conform to the world have slowly been swept away from me.  However, I must admit, I am still human and I can still feel insecure, not just physically, but in all areas of my life – as a wife, parent, employee, friend, etc.   But God helps.  He says, “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” - Jeremiah 33:3 

If you are feeling down whether it is with your weight, looks, confidence as a parent or wife, be renewed by knowing that we are His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10).  Hold on to the hope of knowing that we are made in his image (Genesis 1:27) and that God doesn’t look at the outward as the world does, but instead, He looks at the heart.  (1 Samuel 16:7)

God can help you with your confidence.  Reach out and talk to him.  He will comfort you. (2 Corinthians 1:4)

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. – Proverbs 31:30