Gentlewoman, Monica Valdez

There’s something about Monica.  I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly sets her apart from other women I know.  Perhaps it’s that sweet soft voice that she has, or maybe it’s that beautiful smile that lights up a room.   Monica carries a light within her and it shines bright! 

Monica has been one of my fellow encouragers.  I can lean on her for guidance, wisdom and prayer.  She is a woman of her word and when she says “I’m praying for you” I know she really means it.  Monica has this inner peace that spreads like a wildfire.  She seems almost super human as I always see her smiling.  I’ve never seen her down, upset or even heard her raise her voice.  I admire that about her.

Today, I would like to share her light and uplifting personality with you as I share her story with you.

For those people who don’t know you, can you share a little bit about yourself?

My name is Monica Valdez. I am a first generation baby, born and raised in Texas and I currently live in Dallas.  I'm married to a wonderful husband named Jesse and I am a proud mommy to our 2 beautiful boys, Lyric & Liam. I have 3 gorgeous step-children, Speshal, Yishai and Bella, who complete our family. I am also the owner of Monica Elizabeth Designs.

 

 

I’ve been through so much with my recent job situation/wanting to start my own business and you have been there through it all to assist me with support, motivation and even creating my logo design for All Things Co.   Can you share with my readers how it came to be that you decided to start your own business?

I was an Art Director for a company in Dallas for 5 years, originally hired on as a Graphic Designer. It was my first real experience working in this field after leaving the Art Institute of Dallas where I majored in design. I absolutely loved my job, loved my boss, loved the people I was working for and with but I knew God had more in store for me. I could remain and stay comfortable with where I was, or I could follow my heart's ultimate desires and move forward with starting my own business.

There were things that happened leading up to that day, but I remember driving to work that morning, having my morning talk with the Lord when I heard and knew that THAT was the day I needed to put in my 2 weeks’ notice. As I got to work, I almost pulled out my chair when I felt God's little nudge. If I sat down, I'd lose my nerve. When God speaks, we must listen!

I put in my notice without a safety net and He has been with me ever since. It took about 6 months to get business up and going, but I started feeling the blessings from obedience coming in right away.

 

 

You and I both have a blended family - which honestly has become the norm for the average American family.  What are the struggles you face when it comes to blending children from two marriages and how do you cope?  Do you have any advice for those women entering a blended family or those who are in a blended family and are facing difficulty in creating a blended home?

I think the most important thing to do when entering this type of family dynamic, is to make sure you consider everyone involved. Never neglect the feelings of the children, no matter the age. My husband was previously married and 3 beautiful children came out of that marriage. I had no children myself and was young enough to bond with them on a friendship level before anything else, but we did have our struggles. I think the hardest thing was communication.

 

 

 

I can look back and think of a million times I could have said something differently, or responded differently. It's hard because the children want to know you are committed before they can allow themselves to be and not seeing them everyday can make that difficult. I got to a point many years ago where I said, "This is the life God has chosen for me, this is the husband he has blessed me with and his children are a bonus not an obligation." I can honestly say that in any situation...GOD changes everything. I put Him in the center and prayed for Him to open up my heart to loving the way HE intended me to love all along. If God blesses you with the opportunity to be a step-parent in a child’s life, do it with all of your heart…openly, honestly and without reservation. Never be scared to love too much!

 

You and your husband Jesse have such a strong bond that overflows with love.  It is evident in the way he looks at you, when he speaks about you and when you guys are together.  Can you share your love story with my readers?

Okay, definitely blushing! Yes, I met Jesse ten years ago. He was the drummer of a band and I was in college. I was a third wheel on a date with two good friends when he approached me and won me over with his sweet words. I didn't give him my number – instead I took his. I didn't reach out until two weeks later - but he had been on my mind the whole time. He was genuine, not like anyone else I had met. During our first conversation, he told me about his children and, unlike any time before, I was totally okay with it. We talked about many things but when he spoke about Christ, I knew I had met him for a reason.

Our first date was at the State Fair and truthfully, that's where I fell in love. We were walking, holding hands and he was singing to me there amongst all the noise, all the people. Everything just drowned out; he could care less who was around.

 

 

Jesse has always loved me with a genuine love. Despite our age difference, our backgrounds, our past personal struggles, we came together at a time where we both needed each other’s company. We were both starting over in our own ways and God knew exactly what He was doing crossing our paths together!

 

 

There are lots of struggles that come with being married.  Anyone that is married can attest to that I’m sure.  In your opinion, what do you think makes a marriage thrive?

I think it's never allowing that first initial attraction to fade. What drew me in, in the beginning, still draws me in today. My husband still flirts with me every day. He still writes me these cute little love songs and tries hard to make me blush. And I make sure to make him feel loved and appreciated for all he does for our family. We don't just say "I love you", we live it out and mean it. But the one thing that we have made sure to do is put Christ at the center of our marriage. Our marriage hasn't always been easy so in the roughest parts, HE carried us. That has made all the difference. ;)

 

 

What is your favorite verse?  What does this verse mean to you?

John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have tribulation (trials & sorrow). But take heart! I have overcome the WORLD.” This continues to be one of my favorites because it is Jesus speaking, giving encouragement, letting us know it's NOT going to be easy but the battle has already been won. In Christ, you will find peace no matter the circumstance. Be of good cheer, keep smiling and continue on because the victory is ours.

What are your dreams?

I have many! But I think I mostly just want to help people any way I can. I pray all the time for God to use me for His Glory. Whether through my church, my business or everyday interactions,  I hope to one day be in a position to help and encourage women who have gone through similar struggles, children who have lost a parent, or people looking for love in the wrong places.

 

 

Who inspires you and why?

My parents are my biggest inspirations.  My mom was the sweetest, most lovable person who dedicated her life to raising me and my siblings in a strong yet loving household. She was my absolute best friend and where my spiritual commitment originates from. It was her prayers, when she would stay up late at night waiting for me to come home, that saved me. My mother passed away unexpectedly 4 years ago, but there isn't a day that her words and actions don't inspire me to be a better woman, wife and mother.

 

 

 

My Father is one of the hardest working men I know. His commitment to our family when we were young didn't stop when we got older, it only grew stronger. He is an amazing father, grandfather and father-in-law. He inspires me to work hard, never give up living and when life knocks you down, "Talk to the man upstairs!"  My parents were married for 30 years, their love and commitment to each other is inspiration in my own marriage to never stop loving.

 

 

 

What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

Be confident in who you are because you were made beautiful in God's image. You were made for a purpose, one greater than we could ever logically understand so don't beat yourself up trying to find one. You have the ability to impact anyone and everyone around you with something as simple as a smile, use it. And please never neglect your own character as an asset. You are more than capable of being the confident, compassionate, gentlewoman God intended you to be. Embrace it and see yourself as the daughter of a King, because you are. 

 

 

What are you most proud of?

I am most proud of how far I've come in my relationship with Christ. Apart from Him, I can do nothing. I have traveled a long way from who and where I was spiritually 11 years ago. I was involved with the wrong people, the wrong "THEY" and I was only headed down hill (literally). It took a near death experience for me to wake up and make the decision to change my life. I've never been happier or more grateful for the people I now have surrounding me. I wouldn't trade my past for anything; it completely made me who I am today. God blessed me through it and I now love my life because of it!

 

Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all! – Proverbs 28-29