Gentlewoman, Patchi Hasegawa

Giving up control is hard.  Especially for someone like me. I always felt if I could control a situation then things would be just as I needed them to be.  Wrong.  Instead I found myself chasing after the impossible.

As women, we are so fixated in fixing, solving and rescuing others and ourselves from life’s problems.  When we face trials and God doesn’t answer right away, we can question Him and lose our faith, or we can stand firm, withstand the pain and sorrow and persevere to the other side where milk and honey overflow.

Today, I want to share a beautiful story of a woman, my friend and fellow sister in Christ, who is currently walking in a time where most would lose their faith.  But not her.  She is strong and determined knowing that her Savior will see her through.   

For those people who don’t know you, can you share a little bit about yourself?

My name is Patchi and I was born and raised in Brasil.  I am 33 years young and I am a fourth generation Brazilian-Japanese, meaning I am full blood Japanese mixed with both Japanese and Brazilian cultures. I love to eat, dance, and travel and I love to worship God.
I love coffee and I enjoy cooking and reading. I went to OU for undergrad (Boomer Sooner) and USC for PT school.

 

I am happily married to Tetsuya "T" and we have a smart, energetic, and funny three year old son named Kunimatsu who speaks three languages (Portuguese, Japanese and English). I have been working as a Physical Therapist for more than eight years now and I completely love my job.

 

 

You are originally from Brazil and came to the US for college.  You have shared stories with me from learning the language to embracing and adapting to the culture.  What a journey and adjustment.  Where did you get the courage to make such a transition?

Looking back, I probably did not think it through, but I did see it as an amazing opportunity.
I didn’t realize all the difficulties until I actually got here. You try to prepare yourself as much as possible, but it is so different when you finally make the switch (language, culture, people, and no family). It was one of the hardest obstacles in my life, mainly because I was far from God.

 

You and your husband T are one of my favorite couples.  Ya’ll are such a fun and caring couple.  It surprised me when you told me that your husband T took awhile before he made the decision to come to church.  Several Sundays you attended service by yourself.  It took some time, but T’s heart was changed and now he not only attends, but he serves every Sunday in the worship center as an usher.  Can you share with my readers your story and how church became a saving grace for you both not only individually, but as a couple and as parents? 

My husband T grew up in Japan in a Buddhist culture. He came from a great family and has always been a great man. We met in college when I was far from God. We eventually got married and both began our careers. Things were going well, but I had an emptiness inside. I knew deep down I needed God. I visited a few churches and eventually found Fellowship Church and I decided to stay. I made a commitment to go every Sunday.  

This decision rocked our marriage, but I prayed and put my trust in God. I invited T every Sunday to join me, even when I knew he would say no. I prayed practically every day for a whole year for him to come with me. One year later he said yes! He started to come occasionally and listened to the messages. Everything was so new to him, but he could relate. After a few months he was coming every weekend.

It would take two additional years of praying for him to be saved (accepting Jesus as his Lord) and to be baptized. I do believe in the power of prayer! I also believe that when God calls someone, then it is done.

 

I praise God when I see T now. He is so obedient. We are both learning and growing our relationship with God. When I see him praising God or attending bible group, serving in church, tithing, studying the bible at night, etc God will nudge me and remind me that He is faithful, He hears all my prayers, He loves me and wants what is best. He has perfect timing. God gave me more than I ever dreamed or imagined.

My son is now three and he has been going to church ever since he was born. We pray together every day and have started to watch leadership for kids.

 

Even when we feel we are doing all that God has asked, He places hardships in our lives for reasons we’ll never know or understand.  In the natural, it could make us turn against our faith.  God, why would you allow this to happen, we ask ourselves?  If we hold strong to his promises, we can remain faithful and know that He can turn what was meant for our harm into a greater purpose.  With that being said, you and your husband have had a hard time conceiving.  A problem that did not occur with your firstborn.   Can you share your story with my readers?

T and I had no problems getting pregnant with Kuni, therefore, when we wanted to expand our family and ran into difficulty I couldn’t understand. T and I have been trying to conceive for over 2 years. The only measures I have experimented with has been acupuncture treatment. I was planning on starting other exams, but I felt that God did not want me to try to control everything. So I stopped acupuncture and decided not to seek other medical tests at this time. I wholeheartedly believe that He wants to get all the glory when it happens.

I have had ups and downs this whole time. Some months I feel totally fine and covered with God’s peace, while others I have cried, felt so many different feelings from angry to disappointment, sadness, discouragement and low self-esteem. Even with all that, I still would not change my circumstances because I grew so much in my relationship with the Lord. I have been reading the bible more, learning who He is and experiencing His grace, love, and peace that I know can only come from above and could only be experienced by what I had gone through.

Before it would almost hurt when people asked me about another baby. I would think "if you knew the pain you would not ask. I will let you know when it happens". Then I remembered I had done that to other women with absolute innocence. I did not know anything about infertility.
Most of the time now I just smile and nod if it is a stranger. Other times, I respond by saying we are trying. I know it is more common than we think and I’m not sure if women feel comfortable talking about it. For some, I’m sure it is painful, but I have talked to a few people about it and I have tried to encourage them as I feel encouraged and strengthen by God.

T, my husband, has been my rock this whole time. I would joke in my head, wow, the "new Christian" is teaching me how to believe and trust. He has never felt sad or disappointed. He would just say, trust God and His timing. God is never late and His timing is perfect.

What I find ironic is that T has a great success rate of getting couples pregnant through acupuncture, but for us, it has been hard. As I did acupuncture with T, God taught me to put my trust in Him more than T, even though I know T always gives glory to God for what he is able to do through his work.
I have prayed, journaled, fasted for 21 days, etc. God lovingly let me know and reminded me that it is not by works, but His grace always! I have learned that several women in the bible had difficulties conceiving including Sarah, Rebecca, and Elizabeth. God used temporary infertility to show His power.

Lately I’ve come to realize that I need to fully surrender to God with everything.  I still battle with trying to control some things.

I don't remember who said this: We’re often so anxious to get out of difficult, painful, or challenging situations that we fail to grow through them. We’re so fixated on getting out of them that we don’t get anything out of them. We fail to learn the lessons God is trying to teach us or cultivate the character God is trying to grow in us. We’re so focused on God changing our circumstances that we never allow God to change us!

I pray that God will continue to teach me and help me grow as I will keep on waiting, praying, and trusting in God and His perfect timing.  I pray that other women going through infertility will learn to cry out to God and feel His love, peace and grace and wait expectantly for his miracle.

 

 

 

Looking back on your life, what would you tell the younger you during your most difficult time?

I would tell myself this, especially in college: Do not turn away from God. Obey God, read the bible and do what the bible says. The bible is not meant to limit you, but to protect and guide you. Trust in God. Find a church and find the right friends (THEY). Everything will be just fine.

 

 

 

What is your favorite verse?  What does this verse mean to you?

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)
This is one of the first verses I memorized and to this day there are times I have to remind myself that He is in control and He has great plans for me according to His timing.

What are your dreams?

I feel I am living my American dream. I have a wonderful husband and son. We are all healthy, working in jobs we enjoy. We have the opportunity to travel and visit our families in Japan and Brasil. We also have loving and supportive family and friends.

 

I dream and hope to do more for God. I pray He will give me the steps, words, courage, etc to do what He called me to do. I hope to minister to people I encounter by healing, words of encouragement, or by any other form that God provides me with.

We just went to Japan a few weeks ago, and with every person I met I would wonder how their lives would be impacted “if they knew God”. I am working on making a card to hand out to people next time we go there. Gospel for Japan and maybe other family members.

The biggest dream of all is for every generation in my family moving forward will know God and have a relationship with Him.

 

Who inspires you and why?

My grandmother and T.

I am inspired by my grandmother's faith and hard work. She would always tell us to go to church and pray. More than anything I remember her doing it. She had a leg problem for many years.  She continued to go to church regardless. She finally had a below the knee amputation in her late 80s to early 90s and with her prosthesis and walker she would still walk around the house and go up steps.  She never gave up. She was also married for over 60 years!

Oh my, where do I start with T? He is just so disciplined in everything he does. He thinks outside the box and makes things simple. He is a problem solver, hard worker, generous, loving, smart and very funny. He has great insight and wisdom. He is a good man, great husband, father, and leader. He always does his best. Once he is in, he is all in.

 

What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

Please get off your cell phone. I saw an article the other day titled "Are you married to your phone?" It hit me. Some of us are spending more time than we should on our phone - including myself. I have seen people glued to their phone while on a date. Moms/dads are in the park staring at their phone while their kids are trying to get their attention. You can even catch people who are driving on their phone.  It has become an obsession.

Also remember we are beautifully and fearfully made with the purpose to glorify God in everything we do.

What are you most proud of?

I am proud of my parents. They did their best and they are a big part of who I am today. I am proud of T's love for God and proud of Kuni. I am proud of my life as a gymnast. It taught many things, especially perseverance and that we can do more than our minds think (thanks to our coaches).

 

 

 

 

 

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." – Mark 11:24