30!

30.  Wow.  I remember being 18 years old or maybe even younger and having this perception that “30” meant you were old.  That was then.  Now, sitting here only days away from being thirty, I do not think that way at all.  I’m not scared of turning 30.  As a matter of fact, I believe I am embracing it.  Thirty doesn’t mean your prime time is over.  To tell you the truth, I believe it means your life is just about to begin – well at least in my case.

My twenties, oh my twenties, they were a roller coaster.  My early twenties were filled with an immature attitude towards life, a bumpy road and a sense of thinking I could figure it out on my own.  Boy was I wrong.  In the midst of spiraling downhill I was caught in the arms of this handsome fella who became my saving grace.  At the time it didn’t seem that way as we were BOTH immature, but after learning we were pregnant, an uphill of growing up began.  Entering my mid twenties I was learning how to be a mother, a wife, a step mother, creating a career and finding myself all at the same time.  What a whirl wind that was. I was trying to figure it out on my own again, eventually realizing in my later twenties that I could NOT figure my life out on my own.  I had to accept that I had no control over the unexpected and the unknown.  Thus began my spiritual journey and my invitation to let God back into my life.  I look back on my twenties as a time of self discovery.  I picture myself 10 years ago and “she” is almost a stranger, a person at times I am embarrassed or ashamed of, but ultimately through this journey, really proud of.   (Yes, you can be proud of yourself.)

During these past 10 years, I became an adult.  I dated the wrong guys, lost all sense of self confidence, made new friends and lost others, moved out of my parents home, experienced independence, got pregnant, engaged and married (yes, all in that order), I lost my job, but also found a great job which in turned open the door into a career in the HR field.  I found my confidence only to have it diminished, I lost more friends, I was betrayed, I tried new things, traveled, lost my brother and most recently made new friends, ran a half marathon, found my purpose, found confidence, chopped my hair off, went on a limb and created a blog,  accepted God back into my life and even became a Flavour Sister Lead.  Whew!  (See I told you it was a rollercoaster.) And even then so many other things occurred over the years including continuously trying to people please.  I realized that the only thing I can count on is change. One of the hardest parts of growing up is letting go of relationships that I thought would last forever.  The upside has been learning to keep “quality over quantity” in mind and learning to put time and effort into those who matter even if it’s just a few.

I’m about to be 30 and it’s exciting.  I have learned to accept my life and the person I see in the mirror. While that doesn’t always reflect the negative thoughts that surround me day to day, it has been a process and I’m more accepting of myself now at 30 than when I was 20.  I have also learned that this life is what I make out of it.  I can’t let setbacks withhold me from realizing my purpose in life.  It’s no one’s fault but my own for the choices I made or didn’t make.  It is up to me to take care of this one and only life I have been given. Everyone says life is short and I think we realize it the older we become.  It is so true.  And it’s never too late.  I took a big step of faith with this blog and I am so happy that I did.  Mark my words, don’t ever be too scared to try. 

I couldn’t be happier to enter this next chapter, a time that I truly believe will be the best yet. I want to celebrate everywhere I’ve been – even the not so happy parts and all the future endeavors that lay ahead of me. I want to live this one life of mine - I mean REALLY live it. At the end of my journey I want to look back over my life and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment that I truly did.