Interview Time GW Style

A couple months back, I asked the featured GW on this blog to ask me some questions to include on my interview series featuring yours truly.  In celebration of me turning 30 this past Saturday, (Yes, 30!) I have included their questions plus a couple more to make a total of 30 questions. 

Enjoy!
                                                        

1.  For those people who don’t you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?  My name is Vickie, married for 5 years with two children.  I have a teenage boy named Alec Nicolas Mireles who is about to turn 15.  He is very smart, athletic, competitive but also very humble and sweet.  I have a 6 year old mini me named Mia Alessandra Mireles.  Mia is very smart as well, very sensitive, but also very determined and sweet. I just turned the big 3-0!  I am also the creator of this blog, The Gentlewoman Evolution.

My first Mother's Day 2009

2.   (Pearl)What are three pieces of advice you can give someone in keeping a successful marriage? Well I would say put God first always. God is the foundation to a joyful and successful marriage.  This doesn't mean by having God in your life that your marriage will be perfect. There is no such thing.   What it does mean is that by having God in your marriage, He will help you get through whatever bumps and hurdles lay ahead of you – believe me when I say your marriage will have them.  No one is exempt.  Second, Respect. I heard this somewhere; don’t ever do anything you wouldn't do with your spouse standing there next to you.  Third, Keep Dating. Marriage shouldn't become boring or routine and while it does take work to make sure that doesn't happen; you have to keep it fun, and enjoyable.

3.  (Pearl)What are three things in uniting and strengthening a blended family? Well this has been a learning experience for me that I don’t think I had figured out until last year and even then, I'm still learning. Growing up I never imagined myself being a step mom, but the reality of today’s world, it is now common for a family to be blended.  I would have to say God again. God becomes the focal point and the foundation to a joyful and successful family.  Marriage is second and children come third.  This is what I learned at Fellowship and I think it is so right on.  Most people don’t like to hear that your spouse comes before your children; even I thought that at one point.  But a successful marriage brings successful children.  We bear children and raise them to leave the home.  It’s in the Bible.   Our little family has had to make adjustments and we have faced adversity, however I will have to say by having God in our lives and raising our kids to have Christ in their lives has made such a difference.  We have become so much stronger.  

4.   (Pearl)What motivates you to keep reaching for more? Not settling - which is something I use to do a lot of.  Slowly I’ve stripped away insecurities and learned that no matter what my background is, what the color of my skin is, my gender or age……I am capable of so much, even more than what I believe I actually can achieve.  With man things are impossible, but with Lord our God, everything is possible.

5.   (Pearl)How do you feel about gathering your friends and uniting them not only with your friendship, but in church as well?  This has been the best thing ever! I love seeing my friends and family find what I found and feeling what I feel.  Sharing that joy has truly been the best gift.  It is also raising our next generation (our children) into leaders and becoming so close.  I love that.  I love that our children have all become friends.

6.  (Rita) I've been honored to see how you've changed after first starting your blog.  How do you think it’s changed you? It has changed me in so many ways.  It has brought me joy because this is what I love to do.  It has also brought me confidence.  I was so insecure at the beginning, always second guessing myself. “What are people going to think?  Are people even going to want to read my blog? ” But that all went away. I don’t have any of those negative thoughts anymore. I only had a couple of followers at the beginning, but those followers were the ones that pushed me to keep going.  I am forever grateful to those women.  They have no idea how much they had to do with this blog.  Now, I get feedback from people I would never expect about my blog and how they enjoy reading it.  It’s been such a journey!

7.   (Rita) I also remember your vision, your ideas, and your goals for The Gentlewoman Evolution blog.  I remember thinking “the Gentlewoman” was like a mythical creature.  I mean how can she exist?  She’s like something you strive for!  I've learned from you that SHE lives in each one of us and it doesn’t matter what we've been through or where we are in our life, she’s a part of “us women”.  That to me is so very inspiring! Did you originally intend to interview everyday women knowing how much they would inspire others? And if that wasn't the original idea, how did it get to this point?  That was not my original idea.  I truly think the idea was a gift from God.  He saw my efforts and He brought forth the idea which in retrospect is the reason why the blog has done so well and why I have been able to reach out to people that otherwise I would have not been able to.  These women share my blog on their Facebook and in turn voila, a whole new set of readers.  It was such a blessing how I was able to showcase these women, their stories and share that with other people. I wound up being so inspired by their strength and their stories.  It has been a win/win overall and I am so grateful to God for blessing me with this idea.

8.    (Rita) How do you like your coffee?  Decaf.  I get headaches with caffeine.   I’m more of a tea drinker.  Chai is my favorite.

9.  (Tania) How long have you been blogging?  It seems like all my life.  Had YouTube been created when I was a teen, I know for a fact I would have been a YouTube vlogger.  I have always had a passion for writing; as far back as I can remember.  Diaries, writing for the heck of it, poems, songs, even writing letters to friends were always pages long.  I always started blogs online, but never went through with them, due to my insecurities, but as they say, “Better late than Never.

10. (Tania) If you were shipwrecked on a desert island what (3) books would you want with you? Bible for sure.  The best self help book you can find.  It has all the answers to life’s questions.  My second favorite book would be The Purpose Driven Life.  Third would have to be Yesterday I Cried.  That book I love.  I read it many years ago and it is the book that made me realize that I wanted to write a book one day.  It has a lot of pain but also a lot of triumph.

11.  (Tania) What scares you? Scary movies, haunted houses and rides.  I get severe anxiety and I freak out.

12.  (Tania) In your role as step-mom, what has been the most difficult task to overcome?  Any? There have been several difficult tasks.  When I came into the picture Alec was 8 years old and he was use to having his dad 24/7.  Almost immediately, he also had to learn to not only share his dad with me, but with his brand new sister.  It was a lot of change for Alec and for myself and I wish there was more time that he and I could have been able to bond before his sister came along.  My direct attention went simply to my firstborn.  I think I missed out on giving him more of myself.  Things are different now.  He and I have both found a meeting point of where we love each other very much and it is very much a mother/son relationship.  Having step children there are a lot of difficult tasks including but not limited to how much say you have in raising this child, learning how to share your child with another mother, creating a bond, feeling comfortable…….. but it all comes with time.   

13.  (Tania) What advice would you give to women about marriage? Marriage is a very beautiful thing, but reality is, it is very hard to maintain.  Marriage requires lots of work, compromise and respect.  I went into a marriage thinking it was the most amazing thing, which it is, but as the months went by and the years passed, I realized it is a lot of work.  One of the pastors at church once said, “I am not happily married, but I am joyfully married.”  I think it makes so much sense.  Does being married mean you are in love 100% of the time, well no.  But if you really love a person and if you work on it day by day, you will find the inner joy of being married.  I think most people reading this may question that statement of not being happily married, but if you watch the sermon, I think you will agree. (sermon link below)

14. (Tania) This year has been quite the challenge for you.  So many wonderful moments and those that hurt to even think about.  As your friend, I’ve witnessed your pain, most mostly your strength.  That beautiful reassurance everything will be okay, that only strong faith promises.  What do you think holds people back from really being people of faith?  How has the process affected your life? I think people get too stuck on being mad at God.  That’s just my opinion.  I also think people only look for God when things are going bad.  I get it.  I was that way.  When things went back to good, I strayed from God.  It doesn't work that way.  We need to put God first. He should be our everything.  Once you put God first continuously, believe me, everything falls into place.  And I must emphasize that it doesn't mean you are excluded from turmoil. You are not, but God helps you get through whatever comes your way. 

15. (Tania) What is your advice to wo(men) hesitant to learn the word of God? God loves you.  He's not mad at you; he's madly in love with you.  That's what our Pastor always says.  Don't feel like you are not worthy.  God loves us regardless of our past.  Just give Him a chance.  He only wants the best for you.

16. (Monica)  What inspired you to write this blog?  Well I have a passion for writing.  I always knew I wanted to write and deep down I always wanted a blog. My true inspiration came during the time that my brother passed.  It was because and for him that I wanted to start taking leaps.  I will forever be grateful for the catapult his departure sent me on. I gained strength through that time. I knew I wanted to inspire and be inspired.  After several ideas were tossed around, I came up with the name and in turn the blog was born.  I believe the concept has developed over the months.  I love that this blog has displayed my passion and has also in turn inspired others and luckily enough, I have also been inspired.

17. (Monica) What do you feel this blog will do for women?  Hopefully it inspires them.  No matter how big or small, that is my hope. If it means, changing your perspective, being a little more grateful, reading a new book, listening to a new song or being open to change.  I hope by reading my entries and those interviews of my Gentlewoman, I hope women or even men take something from it and either apply to their lives or use to help someone else.  Together, we can all make a big difference in this world.  We can move mountains if we all work together for good and for positivity.  We need to empower each other.  

18. (Monica) If you could change one thing – anything in your life what would it be? The old Vickie would probably have had a list of things. There was that bad relationship, there was that wrong decision I made, there is that friendship I lost, my chance at going to college, my anger, my insecurity, oh yeah, I would have wished all that and more away.  However, what I've learned is that everything works out for good.  I learned a lot of lessons by the many mistakes I made in my life.  There was a lot of character building and also faith building during those times. I can't turn that away.  I try to look for the positivity in everything now, as hard as it may be.  At this point in my life, I would have to say nothing.  It's all made me who I am and lead me to this point in my life.

19.  (Michelle) How has/does your faith make an impact upon your life? To quote Robert Frost, "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."  At the moment I asked God back into my life, I was lost. I was alive, but I wasn't really ALIVE.  I gave a lot of things up to become a better person and to dedicate my life to being a woman of God.  That has made all the difference. I am living my life for a greater purpose.  My life has changed.  I have realized that everything is meaningless and nothing will ever work without God. The things I use to care about, what I use to think were important are no longer important.

20. (Vanessa) Where does your passion for writing come from? It's been there as long as I can remember.  I enjoy it.  It's my God given talent. 

21. (Vanessa) Being a mother who also works, I can imagine that there’s a lot on your plate.  How do you find time to separate life’s duties from writing?  It's hard.  It's a balancing act.  Chris (my husband) told me at the very beginning, I will do what I have to so you can blog.  I'll take care of the kids so you can write.  He is the best. I couldn't do what I do without him and his support.  I'm sitting here in the den typing away and he's watching The Incredibles with Mia.  Also, my kids are older so they are independent.  Mia is 6 and can have fun in her room or watch a movie.  Alec is about to turn 15 and he can take care of himself.  They all know that I love doing this and they all support me.  I couldn't do it without all of them.  They are my little love bugs and they know this makes mommy happy. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of time, so that's why there aren’t new posts every day, but I try my hardest to make sure I make time for this because I love it.

22.(Vanessa) Do you enjoy other hobbies? Yes, I do.  I love running, I love dancing, shopping, reading, fashion, make up - I'm quite the girly girl.  I try to make time for a little of each here and there.  I also love serving at church. Right now I have taken a break from running and I've started Zumba, which I love because I get to exercise and dance at the same time.  I don't go out much anymore so when I attend Zumba, I feel like I got my dancing desire checked off.  

23.(Vanessa) What is one thing in life that you are determined to accomplish? I have told Chris a few times, I want to get paid to do what I love to do.  My hope is that this blog takes a hold of the world.  I want to continue to inspire and be inspired by different women and men.  I want my kids to view the world by the beauty of what God created versus what society has deemed beautiful by media, magazines or the internet.  I want to be a good role model for them and I want them to know that the sky is the limit.  I want to reach people all over the world and let them know about how good our God is.   

24. (Vanessa) If you could live anywhere else besides Dallas, where would it be and why?  I am such a home body I could never move from Dallas, just because all my family is here.  I don't see myself venturing out just because of that reason. 

25. (Vanessa) Is there any positive advice you can give to one who is about to get married? Keep God first.  It is through Him that you will have a successful marriage.  Don't ever forget that.  

26. Who inspires you and why? There are several people, things, books, quotes that inspire me.  I have been inspired tremendously by all the women I have featured on my blog.  Their strength is infectious.  I am inspired by all the books I read.  I am inspired by my parents who didn’t have an education or easy home life, who then turned their lives around and made God their foundation and became successful and giving people.    I am inspired by my family, my siblings, my children, my spouse – the list goes on and on.

27. What is the best piece of advice that you have received? There have been two things I have learned through advice from my mother and also by watching Oprah. (LOL)  The first is to always forgive.  Second is to always put God first.  You can go far with those two pieces of advice.  Oh, let me add one more.  Pastor Ed always says this, “You don’t get to get, you get to give.”  In other words God doesn’t bless you so you can keep it all; He blesses you so you can be a blessing to others.

28. How do you feel you have changed in the last 10 years?  I’ve changed a lot.  10 years ago I was 20 years old – it was a bad time in my life.  It’s been almost like a complete 180.  I am in such a good place right now.  I am confident and I am determined and I know what my purpose is in life.  What mattered then no longer matters.  

What mattered then, no longer matters

Always out and about

                          Celebrating my 30th talking about the old days and all things motherhood and future dreams. My, how we have all changed for the better.

29. What do you think women in our generation need to hear?  Love yourself.  Don’t compare yourself with other people, especially other women.  The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s green wherever you water it.  Keep God first.  Learn to forgive.  Don’t ever give up.  Don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you are not worthy.  Step out of the box.  Learn something new.  Volunteer.  Love everyone.  Go to church.  Read your Bible.  Don’t criticize but empower and inspire.  Everyone can make a difference and everyone should try. 

30. What are you most proud of?  I’ve never said this before, but in this moment in time, I’m really proud of myself.  I’m proud that I found my purpose and that I’ve followed through on the road God laid out for me.