Gentlewoman, Josie DeLeon

I find a lot of my inspiration in everyday women, mostly because they are the most relatable. I recently became so inspired by an old high school friend, who I actually have not seen in over 10 years.  Her name is Josie and we were in Drill Team together.  Josie was the type of girl who was everyone’s friend, very goofy, fun and likeable.  Fast forward to 2013, I find her on Facebook and what I notice is her love of food, cooking and creativity.  Little did I know Josie had been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL), a form of cancer in your blood.  The way I found out was through a comment she left on a picture I posted on Instagram of a hairstyle I wanted when I first decided I wanted to cut my hair -   you can find that story here.  I reached out to Josie one day just to thank her for the motivating words and for giving me a different perspective.  At that time we went into further conversation and she told me about her illness.  I knew right away I wanted to feature her on my blog.  Not only was I inspired, but I knew her story would be able to reach and touch several women.

I cried reading her story – not out of pity, but out of pride.  I was so proud of her strength and so inspired by it.  I am very honored to include her as my first Gentlewoman for 2014. Enjoy!

Josie DeLeon

1.   For those people who don’t you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?  Hello! My name is Josie Deleon. I am 31 years old. I was born and raised in Dallas, Texas. I am the youngest of five and I was raised by my dad and grandmother who I am named after. I am married but I haven't changed my last name due to my illness and a whole lot of paper work I would have to fill out. I've been with my husband for a total of 11 1/2 years but have only been married for 2 1/2 years. I don’t have any children of my own, but I have a stepdaughter named Angel.  She is 16 years old and I have been a part of her life for almost 11 1/2 years now. It's been a joy helping take part in raising her into the young lady she is today.

2.  You inspired me to cut my hair!  Your words really hit me like a ton of bricks. Can you tell my readers what exactly happened to you to cause you to lose your hair? First off I'm very happy to know that a few words I said helped you with your decision! I was diagnosed with (ALL) Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. For those who don't know what that is, it is a type of cancer of the blood. The treatments for this and most cancers is chemotherapy which is a very strong drug used to stop cancer cells from growing.  At the same time it destroys healthy cells which include your hair - eyelashes, eyebrows and all other bodily hair. 

Rewind to 2009: In my eyes I thought I was pretty healthy, eating pretty good and working out regularly. For a whole year before being diagnosed my leg bones would ache so bad that it would make me cry and I couldn't sleep. During this year I went to get checked three times and the doctors said it was probably my muscles from working out. I knew it wasn't that because I didn't feel it in my muscles – I knew the difference.  All they gave me was muscle relaxers and pain pills but even that didn't help. They did tell me I was anemic and prescribed me some iron pills because I was always feeling tired and light headed. I had been working at a marble & granite company for almost 10 years, but eventually grew tired of it.  I decided to apply at Parkland and I got hired! I had only been there for 3 days when the girl who was training me was showing me where things were in the supply room.  I began to feel like I was about to faint. There weren’t any chairs in the supply room so I told her I felt like I was going to faint and I was going to sit down. (I had to tell her cause I didn't want her looking at me crazy, like why is this girl sitting on the floor.) I thought, here we go again with my fainting spells.  I figured it will just pass. She panicked and called the ER to come check me out. That was certainly one of those being at the right place at the right time moments! Paramedics came and checked me out.  I'm not sure why or what made them take me to the Emergency Room to draw blood, but boy am I glad they did! They got the labs back and two doctors came in with a look on their face as if something was wrong.  They told me, "You need to be admitted, you have Leukemia." I was clueless as to what that was. They didn't tell me much more until I was up in a room, but by this time I was already googling it. When I looked it up all I remember is seeing the word CANCER and nothing else. I became numb and all I kept thinking was that I was going DIE. I mean that's the first thing that comes to mind when you think of CANCER.

When I got settled in the room and the doctor came I asked him, “Did I hear right or was there some kind of confusion?” He said "You have Leukemia and we need to start treatment ASAP.” He also went on to say that I could have died if I had waited any longer. This leukemia is aggressive and crowds your blood and doesn’t allow normal cells to produce in your bone marrow. I didn't know what to say or how to feel, I was in shock. After that I was not able to talk so I had to text my husband telling him that I wasn’t feeling well and that I had to be admitted, but that I was okay. I knew he was at school so I didn't want him to worry.  After all I was in the hospital the best place to be at that moment.

When I had my first chemo treatment my nurse told me that my hair would start to fall out and suggested to just to shave it off.  She said if I were to see longer chunks of hair come out it would be harder for me to deal with. After the first round of chemo I came home and thought about what she said.  I cried but then I sucked it up and told my husband to get his clippers and shave it all off. He looked at me and said "Are you sure?" I said "Yes, it's all eventually going come off." That made me feel in control - doing it myself rather than feeling like chemo had taken control over me. He pulled out his clippers which were old. I don't know how long it had been since he used them because he would go to the barber to get his hair cut. He plugged it in and turned it on. When I heard the loud buzzing noise that it made I closed my eyes and tears started to roll down my face. He turned them off and asked again "Are you sure you want me to do this?" I remember just nodding my head up and down - just do it. So he did.  Keep in mind these clippers were old and had not been used in a long time. He went in for the first shave (I still have my eyes closed with tears rolling down my face) then I feel a tug and it kind of hurt. I was thinking “I thought this is supposed to go nice and smooth?” I felt another tug.  I opened my eyes and I'm like "Ouch! That s**t hurts! What are you doing to me?” He says "Oh, I think I'm supposed to put oil. They are old and I haven't used them in a long time." So I'm standing there with a patch of hair gone and I look at him and he looks at me and we just laughed! He went and put oil and came back for round two.  It wasn't as bad as the first shave he did.  Some hairs were a little longer than others but I was just glad for it to be over with. I sort of felt like Demi Moore in the movie GI Jane (not quit as buff though lol). At that moment is when I finally told myself it's just hair - it’ll grow back!

I just wanted to let you know how much I mean to my daddy.   After the first chemo and having no hair he had my brother shave his hair off which was something really big for him as he never cut his hair. He always had a ponytail. He did it so I wouldn't feel alone. I actually have his ponytail saved in a box. That's not all, my sister and a few of my nieces shaved the sides of their heads too so I wouldn't be alone. Several family members and close friends got tattoos of the orange ribbon because that's the color for leukemia.

3.  Being told you have cancer must be one of the worst things anyone can hear.  I love how you have embraced your situation and turned a negative into a positive.  How were you able to do that?  Well it wasn't easy that's for sure. When you hear the word CANCER the first thing that comes to mind is “Am I going to die? “ Then you question why is this happening? Once you are able to accept what is going on in your life and know that it's only through Him that you find peace it then becomes a little easier and clearer of the path you should take.

It was very hard in the beginning. All you do is question why.  You want to crawl under a rock. I had deleted everyone on my Facebook one by one and then I deleted my account. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I didn't want anyone to know, not even my own family other than my immediate family. While in the hospital I had visitors but when visiting hours were over and they had to go I was left feeling lonely. No one actually felt what I was going through. After each round of chemo I would come home and wait for my blood counts to go up with the help of some injections I had to give myself in the stomach. Even when I was back at home, I still felt alone. My husband was going to school at night to pursue his dream of becoming a police officer and I didn't want to hold him back from achieving his goal. I couldn't be selfish. When I was alone I would be afraid of something happening to me. The mind is very powerful.  When you constantly think negative thoughts, you can cause yourself to believe it and that can cause stress, depression and anxiety. I ended up causing myself to have an anxiety attack which felt like a heart attack. I had a tightening feeling in my heart then my left arm started feeling tingly so that made me panic. Then I started feeling like I couldn't breathe and I was about to faint. My husband took me to the ER and they did blood work and an EKG.  Everything came back fine.  My nurse told me it was just an anxiety attack and if I wanted she could give me Xanax. I didn't really know what Xanax was but I had heard that it was addicting so right away I said no thank you. When I came home I started googling how to help anxiety. It’s simple - just keep your mind occupied, read a book, watch a movie or whatever it is that keeps you at ease. That's when I told myself, “Josie you need to get yourself together. God is with you and will not leave your side so stop thinking something bad is gonna happen.” Since then I haven't had an anxiety attack. I had to be strong for myself and for all of my loved ones that had been praying for me.  I couldn't give up and let those prayers go to waste. I really feel better than ever and I’m the happiest I've ever felt. I think everything happens for a reason and when things like this happen to you I think it humbles to the point where you just feel so blessed to even be alive.

4.  God promises beauty for ashes.  I’ve seen it in my life, in other people’s lives.  How do you feel you were “rewarded” for keeping your faith to get you through this period in your life?  What has been the upside of it all? This was definitely a blessing in disguise. You would think after going through so many treatments and spending so many nights in the hospital that it would be a bad thing, but it really gave me a chance to talk to Him. I feel the biggest reward was my life.  The gift and blessing of allowing me to live and share my experience with others.

I had a bone marrow transplant on January 25th 2012. The percentage that a sibling will match you is 25%. I was very blessed to have 4 siblings. They all had to go in for testing but even then they say some don't have matches. Weeks went by and each one of them got a call back letting them know who matched and who didn't. Three out of four matched me 100%! All the nurses and doctors were amazed and commented how you don’t see that happen. They then eliminated one because of their age and it was now down to the two  younger ones. The doctors let them talk it out and see who was available to go and do all the testing. My oldest brother Jay who lived close to the hospital was my donor. I will forever be thankful for my brother and allowing me to live. I bought him a necklace from Things Remembered. I had it engraved Big Bro + Lil Sis = Life. I had it blessed before I gave it to him and he says it has helped him a lot which makes me very happy. This January 25, 2014 I will be 2 years in remission (cancer free). The day I had my transplant they say that's like your second birthday because all your cells are wiped out with very strong chemo that you receive before the actual transplant to prepare your body to receive all the new cells.  It's like I'm being reborn in a way. I know I didn't do this all by myself. I always thank God, family and friends for being a great support system!

5.  How can women keep up with their health and make sure we are getting the right checkups to catch something upfront versus waiting until something drastic happens? I think since we know our bodies better than anyone else, we shouldn't ignore those signs that our body gives us. If you fell that something isn't normal that should be more than enough for you to go get checked. I know a lot of people don't like going to the doctor and are afraid of what could be wrong but it's better to be safe than sorry. So many of the same side effects can be from something small like a headache to something major like a brain tumor. I'm not trying to scare anyone but it's the truth we often try to be our own doctor not knowing what the real problem is.  We figure "it'll go away or I'll just take an aspirin". Don't wait until it's too late.

6.  What is the best piece of advice you have ever received? Simply to trust God. He knows us all very well and He knows what our needs are.

7. What are your dreams? My dreams are to become a better me mentally, physically and spiritually so that way I can be a better wife, stepmother, daughter, sister, Tia & friend.

8. Who inspires you and why? I don't think I can just choose one person that inspires me because there are many people that I've come across in my life that have inspired me in their own way. My daddy would be my biggest inspiration.  He was brought up by my grandmother and did not have much. He graduated high school and went off to the Marines to serve our country. He raised me along with my siblings as a single father with no help from the government or any kind of child support. He busted his butt working hard every day. Now that I'm an adult and I have my own bills and my own struggles with a husband, I think to myself WOW it must have been really hard for him to raise us the way he did especially us girls, but he never showed it. He always wanted the best for us. That being said he didn't give up no matter what the situation was. My husband inspires me because of his faith in God and his eagerness to learn more. I could go on because like I said there are many who I've been inspired by but these two men are really important to me and stand out the most.

       

9. What do you think women in our generation need to hear? Girls need to learn how to love and respect themselves and not be influenced by society. Just because everyone is doing it doesn’t mean you have to. Pay attention to the decisions you make because one day those decisions you make can affect you in the long run.

10.What are you most proud of? I am most proud that having gone through this has made my relationship with God stronger, which didn't allow me to give up but only fight harder.