Long to Lob

I made a big decision right before 2013 ended which was to yes (gasp) chop my hair off.  This was a very big deal as I had long hair since high school (that’s over 10 years).  And while I cut inches here and there and even experimented with bangs, ombre and balayage the last couple of years, I was ready for something different.  

Here is a before pic from this Christmas and the after pic.  I really thought that I was going to freak out, maybe even possibly hate it, but having a stylist and colorist that I trust and have seen me for years, I knew I would be in good hands.  I attempted to wait until my birthday, which is this month, but I knew if I didn’t schedule it sooner, I would chicken out, as I did the last time I had this idea in my head.

Before cutting my hair, I researched different styles and looked at every picture I could to determine what style and color I wanted.  Some people may find this foolish, but I would get so nervous sometimes even looking at short hair styles.  I knew I wanted a change, but part of me didn’t want to let go of my hair security.  Long hair is what almost every girl wants and yes, it looks absolutely beautiful.  It is said to be a man’s wish to have a woman with long hair.  Those thoughts became my insecurities.  Will I still feel pretty with short hair?  Will my husband still find me attractive?   Will I look better or worse?  Will I regret this decision?  Those questions swirled around my head.

I tossed the idea back and forth and even questioned myself if I was ready or if it was just another one of my sudden thoughts and then I read two things.  The first was from a high school friend who commented on a picture on Instagram I posted about wanting to cut my hair.  She said, “You know what Vick, if you really want it like that, just do it.  What the heck, it’s just hair.  It’ll grow back.  Before I had chemo and all my hair came off, my hair was so long and pretty.  I wanted to cut it, but was too chicken.  What if it doesn’t look good or what if it takes too long to grow back?  So now that my hair is short, I don’t know why I was iffy about my hair.  It grows back and it’s just hair.  I’m enjoying it at short as it is and as it’s growing.  So don’t worry.  Change is good.” That motivated me on a whole different level.  It really affirmed my decision and made me take a step back.  Hair is just hair.  I need to make a change and I need to step out of my comfort zone.  My hair doesn’t define me; it’s what’s on the inside.  Yes, as cliché as it sounds and is - it’s the truth. 

   

During my web search of different hairstyles, I noticed several celebrities had done the big chop including Adrienne Bailon, who at first, I have to admit, I didn’t like with short hair, but seeing her now, I think it suits her so well.  I read an article that she did with Cosmopolitan where she gave her reason for cutting her hair and I loved it and I see it as the cherry that topped my decision.  “It took me years to cut my hair, although anyone who knows me can tell you that I've always said that I would one day make the big chop. I know short hair isn't something you typically see often with Latinas, but I didn't care — I'm turning 30 this year! I feel very fearless in the sense that it's just hair. Now that it's done, I've never been happier. It's a lot less maintenance so I can just get up, throw some product in it, and go. I love that my short do makes an outfit that could have been very "pretty girl" look edgy and fun. I feel like this style is a lot more chic and fashion forward. Try a short do, ladies. I think you'll love it.”

I’m turning 30 this year as well – actually in a couple of weeks.  I have always heard that your 30s are the best time, and I truly believe I am now coming into my own, loving myself and knowing what I want in life.  It’s been a long time coming, but I think this haircut is just an outward expression of an inward fulfillment.  I am about to have a fearless year and I think my hair represents just that! 

“This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.” ― Taylor Swift

Gentlewoman, Monica Ceja

Today’s gentlewoman is an i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t Latina named Monica Ceja.  We’ve heard many singers talk about being independent and well, this girl right here is the poster child of what it means to be an independent woman.  A graduate of Southern Methodist University, Monica landed a job most people would kill for.  Monica is educated, successful and beautiful. Aside from that, Monica remains humble and ultimately, a true Daddy’s girl. 

We all take different roads and paths when it comes to where we end up in life.  Some of us choose the career, some of us choose family and some of us try to balance both.  What I love about sharing each Gentlewoman’s story is that the truth is there is no right or wrong way to live your life’s journey.  We are all different and we all have a different road to travel.   Monica chose education and a career.  She’s thriving and enjoying her life.  As her mom once told her, “A husband and children will eventually come.”  I think her mom is right and I think when the timing is right Monica will have it all.

Oh, and please help me in continuing Monica’s birthday celebration by wishing her a very happy belated birthday.

Enjoy!

1.       For those who don’t know you, can you tell me about yourself? My name is Monica Ceja, I'm 32 years old and I live in Dallas Texas. I'm Mexican American, an only child and consider myself to be loyal, fun and independent.

2.          You have a job that most people would kill for. Can you tell my readers how you landed the job with Jack Daniels, how long you have been working there and what you do there? I started off as a promo model for Jack back in college. I basically started at the bottom and worked my way up to manager. I took extra shifts, cleaned storages, merchandised accounts, etc.  I did anything that would show them I was serious about moving up. When I graduated in 2003 the position for the Hispanic division opened up and luckily I landed the job. I now oversee the Dallas General and Hispanic sales, marketing and promotional duties for Brown Forman. I am a Brand Activation Manager for Dallas and this is my tenth year with them.

3.          Sometimes our own friends, family and/or race can tend to judge or criticize us the most. As a Hispanic female, do you feel you get any criticism for focusing on your career rather than choosing the route of husband and babies? No. Thankfully my dad (traditional Mexican) never imposed that on me. He and my mother always stressed that education and a career were more important. My mother was a kindergarten teacher that graduated from TWU so she always told me that a husband and babies would eventually come, but I needed to focus on myself and being financially independent first. Both my father and mother came from poor Mexican families (dad - Michoacán / Mom - Corpus Christi) and so they always wanted better for their daughter. They never wanted me to miss out on any opportunities and preferred I explore all those options before settling down.

4.          I don’t mean to bring up past hurts, but I did want to ask you about your mother who you lost a few years back. Losing someone is always so difficult. I can’t imagine the pain you feel when you lose a parent. As a woman, I turn to my mother for just about everything. Can you tell me how you were able to get through that season of sadness and loss? I'm not going to lie and tell you that it's going to get better because it doesn't. I mean it gets easier but never better. Holidays, videos, pictures, songs, memories....any little thing can take you right back to that sadness because you never really get over it. For an entire year I was depressed but my ex fiancé was the only one who knew. I vented to him and only him because as an only child I had to be strong for my dad and put a happy face for my family and show them that I was ok. If I could I would have cried and screamed and let it all out every single time I missed my mom but I didn't. All I can encourage people to do if they ever find themselves in this situation is to let it out and lean on as many people as possible. Holding it in and storing it away is only going to hurt you. It took me about 3 years to make peace with my mom’s death and to tell myself I wasn't that strong and needed support too.

5.          What or who has been your biggest inspiration and why? My mother - like I said she came from a small town and poor family. She pushed herself to go to community college then come to TWU and become a teacher. Her family told her it was a waste of time but my mother never gave up on her dream. She pushed me every day. My mom was just the perfect mother. She used reverse psychology on me and my cousins a lot now that we think about it lol. She never refused anything I asked for BUT I had to meet all her expectations and standards in order to get it. She taught me the meaning of standing up for myself, being independent, fighting for what was right and to never give up on my goals. She will always be my inspiration.....and I will continue to make her proud even though she's no longer here.

6.          You were a recipient of the SMU Dedman Scholarship back in 1999. How did that scholarship change or impact your life? Honestly I couldn't have afforded to go to a college like SMU on my own. I owe Robert and Nancy Dedman so much for giving me the opportunity to better my education. I was accepted to state schools but I mean to be accepted into a private institution like SMU is an accomplishment in itself. Going to SMU opened doors of opportunity for me as well as molding me for my future. It really opened my eyes to the real world and helped me mature as well.

7.          What do you think women in our generation need to hear? That they can be anything they set their mind to be! Don't follow your friends, be original!  Be you, become something! Too many girls sell themselves short and want everything so easy. Trust me the hard work will payoff in the long run.

8.          What are your dreams? To travel the world and take my dad to places he's never even heard about. I just want my dad to be happy...that’s all I wish for.

9.          How do you feel you have changed in the last 10 years? I'm still the same in a way lol. Still the hard headed, independent, social, nice girl I was ten years ago....just with my own house and car now.

10.      What are you most proud of? Honestly myself....I've gone through a lot these past ten years and I'm glad that I made it through everything and learned things about myself along the way. I came out a much stronger woman.

My Purpose Driven Life

What a weekend!  Dallas, TX weather went straight into winter this weekend.  It was quite an eventful weekend as we celebrated my husband’s birthday Saturday night and we also celebrated our daughter’s dedication at church on Sunday morning.  I really wanted to talk about baby girl’s dedication in this blog post, but it reminded me that I never wrote about the day I was baptized, what it means and continue into how adding my daughter’s dedication to our family ‘s commitments has truly made the journey this year complete.

Some of you know, I started reading a book called, “Purpose Driven Life – What On Earth Am I Here For?” earlier this year.  I actually received it as a birthday present and both my husband and I read the book together.  The book is divided into 42 short chapters (six weeks) that can be read as a daily devotional.  I would read each chapter out loud to my husband every night.  Afterward we would have small discussions.   I loved it.  I will have to admit that I started reading the book being a little hesitant, wondering, “Am I really going to find out my purpose in this book?”  Turns out, I did.  I would hate to spoil the journey by writing too much about what the book contained, but I would also hate to not include or give this book the recognition that it deserves.  It has been one of the main reasons as to why I changed a lot of things about myself, my family and my life this year.

Rick Warren wrote the Purpose Driven Life, which is the best selling hardback nonfiction book in history and is the second most translated book after the Bible.  I am a BIG Oprah fan and a BIG fan of her show called Life Class.  I saw the episode which featured Rick Warren and immediately knew I wanted his book.  How impressing to know that he had the best selling hardback nonfiction book in history………in HISTORY! 

I received this book as a birthday gift from one of my dearest friends  (Thank you Ale) and the journey began.  There were so many aha moments during this journey. Reading the book isn’t just what changed my life, it’s what I did that made everything fall into place. Without going into too much detail, this book did emphasize on the importance of attending church and becoming a member of that church, getting baptized, surrounding yourself with fellow believers, serving, and realizing what my talents are and using those talents to pursue the purpose God set forth for me.  While that seems like a lot of steps, I did follow through. The outcome of that was in turn an abundance of joy and peace.

First things first, I started by finding my second home, my church.    To backtrack and give you some history, I would like to let you know that I was raised in the church and went every Sunday.  I was saved at the age of 12 and I always had God as a foundation in my life.  As I became a teenager, my family stopped going to church because we had moved and our church was about an hour away.  So in turn, my mom would have us watch John Hagee and Joel Osteen on TV.  I have to admit I hated sitting down and watching church during that age.  (Sorry Joel) When I turned about 16 or 17, my family started going to a different church.  Covenant Church became my new church and I went consistently, even taking my friends to this church.  I experienced a very depressing point in my life at the age of 19-20 and Covenant Church was my go to every Sunday and Wednesday.  I’d love to go into that time period, but that’s for another day and time.  From the age of 21- 28 I didn’t go to church.  I was confident knowing that I believed in God and that was all that mattered.  I was so wrong.  While marvelous things happened to me during that time period, I also had turmoil.  I didn’t have it together.  Something was missing. It was God.  That’s when I knew, my life needed to get back to where it was when God was actually in my life. 

I was on the search for a new church and I found Fellowship.  I’ll never ever regret that decision, as it has not only changed my life, but my family’s lives.  Shortly after attending, we made the decision to get baptized and what was even more special was that not only did Chris, my husband decide, but my parents, my sister and my step son Alec decided to get baptized all on the same day.  Baptism is the first step of obedience after making a commitment to Christ. Baptism allows a Christ-follower to communicate to the world their heart-felt commitment to Christ.  Life change happens at Fellowship and I can only demonstrate the difference by how I live my life now.  Although I am not living in a lavish home with a money tree in my backyard, I feel very rich and so incredibly blessed.

From there, taking part and volunteering at church became easy.  That too is another decision I have not regretted.  It is not just a job, it is a fulfilling position that I am very proud of.  With that decision came the next step of surrounding myself with Christ believers.  I have met so many wonderful people that I truly love and respect.  They lift me up and I know that no matter what I face, come joy or dismay, they will be there for me no matter what.  That right there has been such a blessing to me.

And so, with following those steps, came confidence, joy, love, blessings and so much more.  It has truly become my life.  I live for God and I live for going to church.  And I must say, being a Christ follower isn’t always easy, as it is hard to conform to the world where so much temptation surrounds us. It’s not easy, but it is totally worth it. What I love about God is that he is a forgiving God; he will not forsake me when I make a wrong decision and he will never abandon me when I need Him the most. He is everlasting and truly the love of my life.   The truth is, I will mess up, I will never be perfect, but the expectations I have for myself is to be better. It truly is just a day to day battle of choosing right over wrong.  I’m nowhere near perfect, but going to church and surrounding myself with positivity has without a doubt helped me in making the right decisions. 

My purpose is here where you are.  This blog.  God gave me the talent and passion to have a love for writing.  I'm using that talent to share my story, to share my love and to inspire and to let you know that God is the way to everlasting joy in life despite your circumstances.

To conclude, I just want to say that making the commitment on Sunday to raise my daughter in a Christ centered home is one of the most important things I have ever done for her.  I want her to be able to make the decision one day to follow in our footsteps and be a Christ follower, to know that with God all things are possible and to know that the secret to true fulfillment in life is to put God first. 

I hope you enjoy the pictures and if you have any questions at all about the book, about my journey, about baptism or anything related to this blog post, please let me know and I will be more than happy to answer. 

Gentlewoman, Andrea Gutierrez

This week’s gentlewoman is Andrea Gutierrez who happens to be a Rita Mireles’ sister.  Rita Mireles was was one of my very first interviews, so I’m so excited that they are both on my blog!  Andrea, or as she is more commonly known as Dre, has literally bloomed right in front of my eyes.  Of course, I would see her at family functions and she was always as sweet as can be, but it took her coming to Fellowship and attending the weekly Flavour gatherings for me to truly get to know her.  Dre started coming to Fellowship in October and I can tell you in just a matter of a couple of months, this young lady has blossomed into my sister from the same mister – God! 

During this time, I have gotten to know Dre and I have seen her progress of bettering herself.  To see her sweet smile every week is a true pleasure.  I think what captured my heart in wanting to feature Dre was her resilience and her openness to trying something new, falling in love and grabbing hold of the love she had for God and now the love she has for herself.  To see someone “get it” to actually understand that God loves us no matter what  is one of the best things I have witnessed.  I am so excited for you to read her story and to see how she now understands the true power of faith, love and church and how it's changed her.

1.       For those people who don’t know you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

First off I want to say that I’m not much of a writer, but here goes nothing.  My name is Andrea Gutierrez. Most people know me as Dre but you can call me Drea. I am a single mom of two wonderful kids. I have three wonderful siblings who are my best friends.  I have a great mom that I love dearly and I also have two wonderful nieces.  I work for Metro Tex which is an association for realtors. I have been there for a little over 3 yrs. On my spare time I love to cook. I wish I had someone to cook for all the time!! I also love to sing.  I might not be the best, but I still love it. I am quiet when you first meet me but when I open up, it’s like I’ve known you for years. I am a kid at heart and I love to make people laugh. You will know when I get comfortable around you because I will act like a big dork.

2.       You have two children, a boy and girl.  Can you tell me a little bit about them?

My son, Adrian, is 11 years old; he is sweet, loving, caring, and funny and is changing every day. He is my little mini me! He looks just like me and acts like me.  This year he was accepted into a predatory school and attends 6^th grade there.  When he’s not playing Xbox or basketball, you can find him watching out for other kids around him. That boy definitely has a great big heart!! My daughter Alyssa, is 10 years old and she is in 4^thgrade.  She is my little princess/diva. She is very sweet, loving, strong and very daring. She is the one who keeps me on my toes for sure!  Alyssa is the type of girl that is so girly but can also take care of herself (I love that about her). I can see her working in fashion one day or maybe even being “The Boss” somewhere! Oh and yes she loves One Direction!! I don’t know where I would be without them in my life! I try my best to raise them to have respect for others and give 100% in all they do. I just pray that it shows in them.

3.       You recently joined your sister Rita (who I featured on my blog as well) and me at Fellowship Church.  How long have you been attending and can you recap how and why you started coming to Fellowship and what you think of the church?

The first time I came to Fellowship Church (home) was on October 6. One day my sister Rita asked if I would come to church and I said yes. Normally I would say “Let me think about it.” or “Maybe one day I’ll go.” I didn’t hesitate, I just said yes. That was the best “Yes” I have ever said in my life. I have always wanted to find the right church for myself and my kids. I have always wanted to be that person that is true to the word. I would always say “But I pray every night” and thought that was good enough but it wasn’t. I never felt the way I feel now which is real love from our God. I love Fellowship Church and the people that are there. No judgment, no worries, just love and support. I can use that in my life.

4.       I get to see you every Sunday at church and I also get to see you every Wednesday during Fellowship’s Flavour Sisterhood gathering.  For me, Flavour has been my rescue from bad weeks and has reassured me that we as women CAN be our biggest support system.  I always feel this sense of empowerment from my sisters and I wish all of my girlfriends outside of Fellowship could experience this.  Can you give my readers your take on Flavour Sisterhood?

Where to begin with Flavour Sisterhood? Well the name speaks for itself. Flavour, because there are so many woman from different cultures who attend. Sisterhood because from the first time you enter the room you already feel like you are part of the family. Everyone there has their own story good or bad, but no one judges you and when you open up about what life has thrown at you, you can feel the support. I haven’t been there as long as others but I feel as if I was meant to be there, and I thank God everyday that I told Rita “Yes”.

5.       Recently in our Flavour weekly gatherings, we have been talking about leaving old baggage and knowing that God doesn’t care about what has happened to us, what choices we made a year ago or two seconds ago.  God loves us just as we are and he is ready to start doing miraculous things in our lives if we just accept Him and put Him first.  What has happened to you since you realized God was the missing piece of the puzzle of your life?

I have accepted God in my life. As a human being, I still struggle everyday with my life and some of the decisions that I have made and do make.  However, learning that God loves me unconditionally, regardless of those choices, makes me feel better about myself because I know HE forgives. Before, when I made a bad decision I would beat myself up thinking why would God ever forgive me?  But now, I know better. He is the reason why I feel good about myself every day.  He is the reason why I feel confident. I realize now that through God, I have no boundaries and that He is by my side and loves me unconditionally.

With him all things are possible!

6.       What do you think women in our generation need to hear?

I believe every woman needs to hear that she is beautiful inside and out. Never give up on yourself because God will never give up on you.  Always remember no matter what situation you are in, you will get through it.  Remember to always put your faith in God because He is the answer to it all. Oh, and sometimes it’s good to pat yourself on the back and say “Good Job”!

7.       Who inspires you and why?

 There are so many people including the Man upstairs who inspire me. I can’t name them all, but if they are a part of my circle, then they inspire me to be a better person inside and out. There is one person in particular that has inspired me the most. This person raised me to be the best person that I can be.  He was my best friend and my everything.  He was the best Grandfather in the whole world.  His name is Abraham S. Gutierrez “Popo”.  He was the sweetest man you could have ever met. He would give you the shirt off his back and the rest of the money in his pocket if you needed it. He was a great husband, uncle, brother but most of all an amazing grandfather. He worked hard for his family and did it with a smile. He took care of me and my kids when we didn’t have anything. He would always be there to love us unconditionally and he never judged me for my faults.

When I was at my lowest and felt like I had no one in the world that understood how depressed I was at the time, he was there to pick me up and tell me that he loved me and that everything was going to be alright.  My grandfather inspired me to be the best mother, sister, daughter, and friend I could be. He taught me to stand up for myself and to work hard for what I want and need. Every time I would say thank you to him he would say “Don’t thank me, thank Jesus”.  So I thank Jesus for allowing me to have had an amazing grandfather.  He was the only dad I ever knew. I know realize how fortunate I am for that!

  

8.       What are your dreams?

I have dreams that my children fulfill all their hopes and dreams. I also want to own a food truck!! Oh the things I could make in my own food truck!!  I even have some secret recipes!   My dreams also include the ability to be able to provide for my family and to one day meet my better half.

9.       What are you most proud of?

Everyone knows that I’m proud to be a mom and I’m proud of my family, but I’m especially proud to attend church every Sunday.  And to tell you the truth, I don’t think I’ve really ever said that I am proud of myself. Now after attending Fellowship, I have to say that YES, I am proud of myself. I have done so many things in my life that I’m not proud of, but I still move forward every day and try to make things better.

   

10.   If you could share any piece of advice, what would it be?

No matter how hard things get, remember God is right there with you every step of the way. He will get you through anything.