Gentlewoman, Vanessa Santana

One of the hardest jobs any woman can partake in is becoming a mother. It’s a job that you don’t get paid financially for, it’s a job that is overlooked from people who are not mothers and honestly it’s so hard trying to juggle being a mom and having a full time job.  I know the struggle, but like my next featured Gentlewoman, I’m up for the challenge.  Vanessa Santana is a long time friend of mine.  We went to high school together and we were in Drill Team together.  Vanessa experienced having children at a fairly young age, with no direct help from the kids father.  She managed to go to school, get an apartment and raise her kids all by herself.  Like I have mentioned before, my hat goes off to all single moms out there. There is such a greater challenge is raising kids all by yourself – it is basically a superhuman power that women contain to reach in themselves to pull out all the strength to continue moving forward for their children. 

I love happy endings and I love that Vanessa has found true love in a man who I know loves her unconditionally.  Their love at times reminds me of my husband and me, because I know Vanessa has T.J.’s back and likewise, he has hers.  Both T.J. and Vanessa came into their relationship with children and are now a blended family.  Amazingly, I think God knows why he put these two and their children together.  The kids have accepted the change and each other and their family is now one.

Vanessa and her family are attending my church, Fellowship and I can’t tell you how happy that makes me.  Church is the foundation to a healthy relationship and marriage as well as a healthy relationship with your children.  Putting God first in your family is the true key to everything.  I also would like to say that I am very proud of Vanessa and for the rolemodel she is to her kids.  As a stepmom to my 14 year old, I know that accepting another child as your own is one of life’s biggest blessings and challenges.  I admire that you love all your kids equally and always represent them as yours.  You are a wonderful mom and a ride or die for your husband and I think that makes you a suburb Gentlewoman!

Interview with Vanessa Santana

1. For those that don’t know you, can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

My name is Vanessa, but I'm used to everyone calling me Nessa. I am about to turn the big 3 0 in a few weeks; on 9/11 to be exact. I have the most amazing fiancé and kiddos. I am allergic to shellfish, and I have had surgery every year since I was 21 years old.

2. You became a mother at a fairly young age. What was the hardest part of being a young mom? The hardest part of being a young mom for me was that I was a single young mom. It was never my kids that made things hard.  It was the absence and lack of help.

3. What are you most proud of? I am so proud of my children; all individually.

4. I once heard you say that your children were your favorite people. Can you tell me about your kids? My children are my absolute favorite people in my life! I cannot go a day without hearing their voices. I have 5 children total. There's Angelina, Sarina, Makayla, Jr., and J.T. This school year my two oldest daughters will be in middle school, Makayla and Jr. will both be in the 4th grade, and J.T. is going to the second grade. Angie is more to herself. Sarina and Makayla are into playing dolls and painting their nails, and as for my boys.... well they're boys. They enjoy everything that goes boom, bam, splat! I admire each one of them. They are my everything.

5. You have recently become engaged. Congratulations again. Can you tell me how you met your fiancé, how long you have dated and a little recap of your love story? Thank you! Yes, I did recently become engaged. T.J. asked me to marry him on March 26, 2013 on our 3 year anniversary. I was getting ready to go out for dinner and all of a sudden my kids come running and shouting for me to come out into the hallway for something important, so I stepped out into the hall and my daughter Angelina covered my eyes and turned me to the front door to our home. My boys opened the door and there he was on one knee. T.J. proposed to me and had the kids help him coordinate it. I love him more than words can describe. He has made me forget how it feels to regret. He's the most motivating person I know--- I LOVE that about him! He's intelligent, handsome, caring, and honest. I truly believe that he brings out the best in me.

6. You and your fiancé have become the modern day Brady Brunch. How did you adjust from being a single mom to growing to such a big family? Before I met T.J., Angelina, Sarina, and Jr., it use to just be Makayla, J.T., and myself in a small two bedroom apartment. It wasn't long after T.J. and I started talking when I gave T.J. a key to my place. I remember the happy feeling I use to get when Friday came around because he use to come over with the kids and stay for the weekend.  I knew I wanted that forever. When we decided to move in together my kids were beyond happy! They asked T.J. if they could start calling him Daddy. Our children got along so well and we grew into a family in no time.

7. How do you feel you have changed over the last 10 years? Over the past ten years I would say that I've matured a lot.

8. What do you think women in our generation need to hear? We are "The Generation of Working Women." My hat goes off to those who are strong and independent. We do not need a man to take care of us; we need a man who cares about us.

9. What is the best piece of advice you have ever received? Be the change that you want to see in the world.

10. What are your dreams? My dream is to grow old and in good health with my family. I have other dreams of bettering myself professionally but that is a distant second next to T.J. & our kids.

11. Who inspires you and why? My children inspire me to be who I am x10! All five kids have stories of what they have been through in their short lives... they are my inspiration for happiness & my faith.