Leaning In

So I’m currently reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.  I was immediately drawn in.  Not only does she give us the truth right smack in our face, but she includes facts and studies to back up her words.  It definitely opened my eyes as a woman, mother and wife.

Do we as women want it all or are we scared of losing it all? 

I try to think back to when I was younger and what I use to think “grown up” life would be like.  I remember one thing for sure-  I wanted to be like Cinderella, Ariel and Belle.  I wanted to find my prince charming, have pretty dresses, have babies and live happily ever after.  As I got older, I decided I wanted to be a teacher.  I never dreamed of owning my own company, being the president or even an astronaut.  Being a teacher was an excellent choice, but I never dreamed big.  I could have went as far as a principal or even a college professor, but my dreams weren’t that big.

My parents wanted more for me than what they had accomplished for themselves.  Neither one of my parents graduated from high school.  My dad was forced to work at a small age to help his family in Mexico.  My mom had her first child at 16 and by the age of 32, she had 5 kids.  My dad barely knew any English when he met my mother.  She helped him learn English and he accepted her with 5 children.  My dad once told me that his parents never hugged him or even told him that they loved him.  My mother never knew her biological mother.  She gave her away when my mom was a little girl.  Still with all these adversities, my parents pursued the American dream.  I don’t think I ever stopped to think about what my parents provided or did for me when I was younger.  If I would have know then what I know now, I would have tried harder. I would have done more to make them proud.

I grew up with both my parents working.  I remember always having working cars, food in the fridge, nice furnishings and fabulous clothes.  (Yes, thanks to my mom’s style.)  We were never without anything and it was just not because of my dad, but also because of my mom.  My mom would work M-F and still come home and make dinner.  We ate as a family and they talked about work and asked us about school.  It’s a reflection of how Chris and I lead our dinners during the week.  I remember my mom doing most of the household duties, but it was probably because she had a love of cleaning and making sure things were done “her way”.  When Chris and I got married I was surprised at how much he helped me with Mia, the house duties including cooking, dishes and laundry.  I don’t think I ever saw my dad do laundry.  (I don’t even think he knows how to do laundry.)  My mom not only worked but she made just as much, sometimes even more money than my dad, yet she also had to come home and do majority of the household chores.  Now, I don’t hold anything against my dad, because he has always been such a hard worker – I really think my mom was too picky to let him do anything because she likes things done “her way” and since she is the queen of cleaning, well she won. But that also meant that she ended up doing all the work.  (and then probably complaining about it)

Reading this book really opened my eyes to see how my partner is really a partner.  Chores, work, kid duty it is all 50/50.  While I do have to admit, that I clean better than Chris, he at least helps and he really makes this team that we have work equally.  He supports me with my job, my hobbies and my passions (like this blog).  He truly wants to see me excel.  He has to know that saying, “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. 

After I had Mia, I was eager to go back to work.  I enjoyed work.  I have to admit there were times I did feel guilty when I had to go to work because I felt like I was missing out on precious moments, however, even with working full time, I was able to witness Mia’s first word, first time crawling and first steps.  Most of the time I don’t feel guilty that I do have a fulltime job, but there are times, I feel that I do miss out on some things.  I always have to take time off to attend parties at school or rushing out to make a football game that is across town.  It’s hard to request so much time off, but I try to balance everything the best I can.  The truth is I enjoy having a job.  I enjoy having a job that is rewarding where I feel like I’m making a difference.  I enjoy being able to provide a good life for my children and I enjoy being an equal contributor to not only keeping our house together, but helping to pay for that house.  It’s a rewarding and fulfilling feeling.

I’m 8 chapters in and I have already decided this book is on my top book list. I want to continue to let my daughter know that she can do anything a boy can do.  I want her to know that the sky is the limit and she should never feel like she can’t manage a career and family.  I want my stepson to know that he can have a career, provide for his family, change diapers and cook dinner.  I want him to be an equal partner.

I think every woman should read this book.  If you don’t have the time, or if you don’t like to read, please listen to the following YouTube videos.  I’m hoping you will get inspired, just as I did, to lean in.